Can you really eat a hamburger wrong?    There are those out there that say yes.   Really?

There’s a tweet that’s going viral right now from Business Insider’s food website, Food Insider.

They say we’ve been eating burgers WRONG for our whole lives . . . and we’re supposed to eat them UPSIDE-DOWN.  SAY WHAT?????

The theory is that the top bun is bigger than the bottom bun, so it’ll do a better job absorbing all the juices and condiments, and keeping everything together . . . so your burger won’t be as likely to fall apart or drip as you eat it.

I never thought in a million years that I Dave Denton with a body made of Hamburgers (and bacon) have been eating my burgers wrong!

I am not a gourmet but I have been eating food all my life but to tell someone they are eating wrong.   Well chewing with your mouth open is WRONG!

I have been told that I should never put ketchup on a steak!   Why?  It is my steak and I think steak sauce is disgusting.   Now before you sick Gordon Ramsey on me I always try steak without any sauce first and most of the time no ketchup but honestly if a chef is offended by me putting ketchup on the steak I paid for, he can give me my money back and I will eat it the way he thinks is best,   IF HE PAYS.

I hear people say that the best hamburger has a little pink in the middle.   I used to think that too and for most places I still do.  However a few months ago at a restaurant my wife and I go to a lot a waitress suggested we try the burger with a char and as she said squished.  OK?   Dang that is the way to eat a burger at this particular restaurant.  The flavor is unreal and add bacon YUM!

I have seen people who do not like getting things on their hands eat BBQ ribs with a knife and a fork.  Not me but more power to them.

Some people put milk on the cereal and wait for it to get soggy.   I prefer crunchy cereal except for Captain Crunch which to me is better soggy.  LOL

I even know a guy who loves shrimp but he prefers not to peel them!   Yep tail and all popped right in the mouth.

When I was in Louisiana I developed a love of boiled crawfish.  At one dinner at my boss’s house we had a huge Crawfish boil and I was digging in while my boss was right next to me.  He was a true Cajun and after tearing the tail off and pinching the end to get the meat, he would take his thumb and insert it into the crawfish then pull it out with what I presume was fat and body juices insert his thumb in his mouth and eat it.  I told my boss” Louis, please don’t fire me, but you are making me sick”

My point is eat your food the way you want.  Don’t be gross about it and try to use table manners, we are a civilized people……well you are anyway.

Pass the Ketchup!

No wait pass the Mayochup!

Today on the morning show.   Winter complaints

Stupid news:  A 9 year old wants to have a snowball fight.  That cell phone is nasty and a 1st date

Laugh lines having a great wife


I was almost locked in! And if I would have had cookies that would have been OK.

Over the past few months I have had a sleeping problem and I am trying a lot of things to try to get more sleep.  Last night was so strange.  Watching TV last night, yeah they were Superhero shows, Super girl and Arrow.  I was just struggling to stay awake> I love those shows and here I am nodding off.   Legends of the DC universe was snooze city, I even took it off my DVD record, and this season is really bad.

Anyway it is time for bed and like I tell you I am trying lots of different things, the latest a CPAP machine.  Well it didn’t work last night.  I slept about 2 ½ hours.

How does this tie into being locked in.  Well here goes.  As I come into the station today I was in need of something to keep me awake and the convenience store near the station.  I tried to get out of my car but I couldn’t the lock would not work on my car door , I tried over and over again and almost 10 minutes later I was free!  I go purchase what I needed and get to the station and yep I was stuck again.   But man the car felt great, it was so cold (4 above) and I was bundled up and I almost gave up to sleep in my car.   At least until I could be rescued, but the door unlocked and here I am not as tired as I thought I would be.   WHY?  I really love my job.

I mean where else can I sing The Cookie song on National Cookie day.   Listen here and sing along too!   (I feel like James Cordon on Carpool Karaoke)

On National cookie day here are our 5 favorite store cookies from the Huffington Post and 2 of the top 5 have Cache Valley ties Oh Yeah Pepperidge Farms

  1. Pepperidge Farms Soft Baked cookies

4 Nilla Vanilla

3 Keebler fudge stripped

2 Pepperidge Farms Milano

1 Oreo

Gourmet cookie bouguet.com has a list of the most popular homemade cookies

  1. White Chocolate macadam
  2. Sugar cookies
  3. Oatmeal raisin
  4. Peanut butter
  5. Chocolate Chip

My favorite homemade are the No Bake Chocolate.   I have consumed a lot more than I should have over my life.  But they are good for you I mean there are Oats in them!!!!!!!!!!

Stupid news:   Has an update from New Zeeland and Christmas movies making news

Laff lines Mini Vans



This is a time of the year where you just might find something you thought was lost forever.  Why?  Because it is a Festivus Miracle.

We shop for Christmas and when we find something we  put it in one location, so m y wife was wrapping presents that we need to ship to loved ones around the company.    I heard her say “Here it is, I found it”

This was something that I cherish and I could not find it.  My sister had contacted me in the fall asking if she could get a copy and I said sure.  I am a great brother after all.  But I could not find anywhere.  I knew I had seen it recently and even used it.  But I could not find it, I searched and searched. I looked for days.  Finally I had to tell my sister I had lost it.  It honestly broke my heart I lost something so precious to me.

No it wasn’t my framed photograph of my wife and I with Arrow start Stephen Amell.  No it wasn’t even Batman comic collection.  What was it that I thought I had lost but my wife found it this weekend.

A picture of my Mother and Father.  One of the few photo’s I have of my dad who died when I was four.  This photo hung over my mother’s bed and I remember staring at it as a kid.  My sisters had tried to get a copy made for all the kids but the photo was attached to the glass and would not come off.   Then as the story goes my sisters in Memphis were visiting when they heard a loud crash in the back of the house.  It was this picture which had fallen and shattered the glass completely separating the photo from the glass.

That Christmas morning as I opened my gifts I saw the picture for the 1st time in years and I cried.

I am so glad it has been found.

Now I need to find the phone I lost inside my home last year.  I was texting with a friend at night and never left the house before the next morning.   PHONE IS M.I.A.

Or maybe I could find a kitchen timer that was never to be found in our old house.  Hey I liked that kitchen timer.

Don’t get me started on the stupid socks

Oh by the way if you find a 100 dollar bill, it probably mine!

You believe me, don’t you?

Stupid news: A wedding proposal and a man with a famous name is now infamous.

Laff lines


It’s the time of the season where you sit with your family with a cup of hot chocolate or in my case ice cold Diet Dew, and you watch a Christmas movie.

I guess I am a bit of a Scrooge here… I like Christmas movies but there are very few that I must see during the holidays.   But today here is a list of some favorites and some in the Holiday Spirit of love and joy…. NOT SO MUCH.


It’s a Wonderful life …. I cry like a baby when Jimmy can’t find ZuZu’s peTals

Miracle on 34th street – old and new versions are great

A Christmas story …. I watch it several times on TBS Marathon.    I live to see THE SCOTT FARCUS AFFAIR!

Scrooged.  Bill Murray need I say more

Christmas Vacation.   Sometimes I think I am Cousin Eddie

A Charlie Brown Christmas.  This is how I learned to dance.

Here is one that most people just kind of stare at me when I tell them I love this movie


Here are some I enjoy and can watch again if I need to.

A Christmas Carol…. Home Alone…Gremlin’s…. Christmas in Connecticut…  How the Grinch stole Christmas.  Muppet Christmas Carrol.  Trading Places.

Christmas movies I haven’t seen nor do I want to be the Horror Christmas movies like Krampus…Bad Santa… Elevens.

Here is one that I saw the tailor for and I know a lot of people might like it but the preview just looked horrid.  Bad Santa.      NO THANKS.

Finally I probably will get some people who will want to Deck my Halls.   I have never seen ELF.   Why?  I don’t like Will Ferrell and his brand of comedy.   Maybe if someone sat me down in my recliner with some EGG NOG some Christmas cookies and slipped me a 50 dollar bill I might watch ( 50 dollar bill is not required , but highly encouraged)   Really one of these days I might watch it and I might even like it.

Well, have a great weekend with whatever you have planned.  Oh yeah I was kidding about the 50 dollars ……..or was I.

Merry Christmas


Today on the morning show: Those were the days. Is that Pen yours?

Stupid News:  Can I have a light and Frosty was attacked\

Laff Lines dads




Experts will tell you that waking up to the alarm clock is bad for you.    OK DOC TELL ME SOMETHING I DON’T KNOW”

Very few people can wake up at a time they need to start the day.  I have known a few that can and I call them (insert four letter word here)

I have an alarm that goes off at 4:15am every morning, not fun!  This morning it really wasn’t fun but it made me laugh.   My wife told me that I was sprawled out on the bed with my head at the edge of the bed.    I was snoozing away when at 4:15am!  My head was only about 1 inch away from the clock.  I felt like those cartoon cats that jump up and claw the ceiling.   That thing still rings in my ears!  Then as I stumbled out of bed I was wobbly.  I have heard of something called “Sleep Drunk” that was me.   But I am happy to report no hangover!

We had our first bit of winter weather that made our morning drive a little iffy to say the best.  Most of the major roads were clear, which is good ……..However as a caller said this morning we forget how to drive in snow and fog.      TRUE DAT!

For some unknown reason some of us just won’t slow down.   I have a friend who drives through Sardine Canyon every day and he has some great stories of people passing him acting like everything was hunky dory and in a few miles they are off in a ditch.

I heard a man say Four wheel drives still go off the road because of icy conditions.   That same man said ”Yeah having four wheel drive makes it a little easier to get out of the ditch.  But when you see a four wheel car stuck IT IS STUCK!

Just a couple of observations about driving in snow ice and fog.  These are mine,  believe you me I have learned the hard way

1… Slow down

2… Don’t assume the road ways are fine.   Have you’re ever heard of black ice?

3… Don’t be in a rush.

4… Parking lots are the worst, people forget how to drive and assume that since the snow has covered the parking lot.  I can drive in any direction I want.

  1. in fog drive with you low beams on. “Oh but Dave, I can see fine” I say “YES, but can they see you”
  2. If your car is parked outside, take the time to clear off your car. Snow on the roof clean it off. Windshield front and back, and don’t forget to clean the headlights and taillights.   Remember this “BRAKE LIGHTS LET PEOPLE KNOW YOU ARE STOPPING”

I am guilty of wanting to take a few shortcuts myself but I am trying to do better.

This morning in a really foggy area a White Pick-up hauling a White trailer without the lights on COME ON PEOPLE!

Today on the morning show the top 10 things we love and hate about winter:

The Mountain West conference named the All-Conference team on Wednesday and it was a joke.  I talked with Ajay Salveson from our sister station 1390 the Fan about it and he was ticked.

Stupid news:  A D-U-I-N in Minnesota and the return of the Big Mouth Billy Bass

Laff lines Beards








There’s something wrong with your car.  It squeaks, it won’t start very well or it doesn’t run the way you think it should.  You take it to the mechanic and wow no squeak, the engine runs smooth.  THE STUPID CAR RUNS PERFECT AND NOW YOU FEEL LIKE THE DUMBEST PERSON IN THE WORLD!

It happens to me to but yesterday it wasn’t my car it was the stupid computer.

When I got to the station at 5am on Monday, the computer was acting funny.   I go into my Tech mode and get it working right away.  My morning is going great!

Then the lack of computer knowledge hits.   I was having trouble accessing my e-mail.   I try everything…. Time to ask a Tech guy.  Kevin comes in and has it running right away.  I had repeatedly typed in my password wrong.   One of the letters was supposed to be in CAPS!  Boy did I feel stupid.

Fast forward 1 hour and I am doing some computer work for the station and the stupid program will not work!!!!  I said to myself “I can figure this out”


One hour later I give up ask for help.   Kyle arrives to do his superhero computer stuff.  I show him what is not working……….BUT IT IS NOW!!!!!!!!!!

As my anger and frustration subside, I thank Kyle for his assistance.   Boy did I feel (insert bad language here)

I know it happens to everyone, but I am not everyone I am ME!

That brought back a weird memory from my dating days.  I was on a double date, the girl I was with I had taken out a few times.  A friend of mine and his girlfriend were with us.   But I was having a really bad day, nothing was going right, I was in a bad mood and I knew it.  I apologized several times for my gloomy outlook but I was in a bad mood.

The date went fine, we had a good time but once again I had to apologize for my bad mood.  Luckily she understood.

After we dropped off the girls who lived in the same complex it was time for my friend and I t go home.   I turn the key in my car, it eventually starts up. I reach up to the gear shift to get it in reverse and the entire gear shift comes off and into my hand.  THE ENTIRE GEAR SHIFT!

I sat in my car with a glazed look in my eyes and said ‘WHAT IN THE —————- AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS”.  Then I just started laughing.  The kind of laugh that brings tears to your eyes.  You and your entire body and laughing and you can’t stop.

My friend thought I was having a nervous breakdown and was getting out of the car to call for help.  It took me several minutes to convince him that I was fine and just found the situation funny.

My bad mood was gone.  Laughter is the best medicine

Today on the morning show: Sleep tips for the ladies, we say goodbye to the creator of SpongeBob Square pants.

Stupid news having a baby cost a lot of money.  Drinking a tree

Laff lines the tortoise


“You want a cold drink/”

“Sure I will take a Coke. “

“What kind of Coke?”

“Oh a Pepsi will be fine”

That would be heard over and over again while I was growing up.  In my part of the south every soda was called a “COKE’

The website coca-colacompany.com backs me up on that.

People from different parts of the country call our soft drinks different words.  When I went to Ricks College when I would say “Coke” I heard the snickers of people thinking I was strange.  (They are kind of right)

But to fair in the area I grew up in Memphis there were a lot of Navy men and women and we would laugh when the would say the wanted a Soda or Pop or Soda Pop.  It just sounded different to us.

Here in Utah we seem to be a little split between Soda and Pop.  I must admit when I hear myself say I want a Soda it sounds funny to me.

But the strangest localism for Coke had to come the 1st time I went to see the St. Louis Cardinals.  It was a hot muggy day of baseball and the people walking up and down the stair selling cool liquid refreshments could be heard screaming out the product they were selling “BEER, HERE, GET YOUR ICE COLD BEER, HERE” Hey it’s called Bush stadium for a reason.  Sometimes you would hear. “HOT DOGS” “ICE CREAM” or ‘SOADEE, ICE COLD SOADEE”


Not soda, not pop, not soda pop but SOADEE.

I was with some St Louis natives and I had to ask “What is a SOADEE?    I found out in a hurry with some unique looks SOADEE was what I called COKE!

Over the years I think I have tried em all.  Coke, Pepsi, Dr Pepper, R-C Cola ( which you have to have a Moon Pie with, trust me—trust a Fat Man)

I really love soda and my belly grew to prove it.  Instead of a beer gut I had a Dr Pepper Gut.  I went years where Root beer and Sprite were the chosen drink.   Now I am a Diet Mt Dew fan.    I simply say I am getting a DEWAGE.

Maybe I should have a Coke now!  Yep I am going to the store to get some Dew age.

On the morning show:  it was a typical Tuesday or was it?   I have a gift idea that is not expensive and might be the best gift ever today is the loneliest day of the year

Stupid news: Why can’t this ever happen to us.  And we find out what caused a power outage


Laff lines:  BRIAN REGAN’S 1ST JOB!



My wife and I try to have most of our Christmas shopping done before Thanksgiving.   I can handle the crowds of people shopping and the constant Christmas music.   But what I really like to do is people watch.   But not in a creepy way.

People watching is kind of like watching TV.  You see heartwarming interaction, some not so heartwarming. But often some of the funniest things can be seen just by people watching.

Here are 2 of my favorite people watching moments.

Last year I needed a haircut and went to one of the salons inside of a large store.  After getting the haircut. I did a little Christmas shopping. Then I heard a sweet little voice singing ‘JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS.”  Those were the only words she knew to the song but she was singing them loud and proud.   Let me tell you my heart melted.

As I shopped the little voice was gone but as I was checking out I heard it again.  JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS.  My heart melted a second time but not for the same reason.

My hear melted because there a few isles from me was not only the beautiful little girl but also her mother who was letting her child share her Christmas Joy with me and everyone else in the store.     I saw so many people smiling that day all thanks to a sweet little girl and a patient Mother.  JINGLE BELLS JINGLE BELLS JINGLE BELLS JINGLE BELLS.

Another Christmas People watching moment was accidental in more than one way.   I was at a local market waiting in my car in the parking lot while my wife was in the store.  I was sitting with the car radio on (KOOL 1039 of course) just enjoying a cool quite December evening when CRASH.

What was that, did a couple cars crash, did I need to call 911, was anyone hurt.  As I looked around I saw the source of the crash and good belly laugh too.  It was a Clark Griswold moment.

A family had been Christmas shopping and also decided to purchase a tree.  A GRISWOLD FAMILY CHRISTMAS TREE.   It was a big tree.   I had overheard the family discussing what to do with the tree.  The man of the family didn’t want to tie the tree to the top of the vehicle, he could squeeze the tree inside.  He took that back gate and kept pushing until CRASH, the back windshield had popped out and crashed on the parking lot.  HE WAS NOT HAPPY!  As the man’s wife was saying in disgust “What are we going to do now” I could hear him say “JUST GET IN THE CAR”

In my mind all I could hear was Clark Griswold saying.  “We’re going to have the hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby danced with Danny****** Kay.

People watching is fun during the holiday’s

Now on to something not as fun as Jingle bells and Clark Griswold.   The death of Marvel Comic legend Stan Lee, had most people talking about the influence in our Pop Culture.   But one man decided to make this man’s death into a political statement.   Bill Maher wrote a blog post saying comics are for kids ( I read comics and I am proud to say that)  Hey Bill I have no problem with you saying that  but when you said that people who read comics are probably the kind of people who voted for President Trump.     Where in the name of Spider-man did that come from?  People including me we upset that he took this man’s death to belittle people who voted the way he didn’t want them too.      Come on Bill it’s just comic books.

Now Bill goes onto a recent episode of Larry King Now and was asked about people being angry with him over his statement

Here is audio so you can hear it for yourself,


Bill you have just proved my point. Are comic books and superhero movies anything more than entertainment.   You tell me, Comics have addressed such social ills as child and spouse abuse, White collar corruption, Drug addiction, racism and more.

You have a superiority complex and think people who don’t agree with you the issues are beneath you.   You come across as an angry old man who is standing outside saying “GET OFF MY LAWN”

Sorry about the rant but he really made me angry, he has every right to his opinion, I just did not like his pompous attitude and to bring politics into was completely uncalled for


Today on the morning show:  When does Christmas begin.  A reminder that being a good person isn’t that hard.

Stupid news:  Those aren’t my Drugs.  A missing Peacock and a story that wrote itself

Laff lines Dating





Here it is Thanksgiving and what do we have to be thankful for.   So much tragedy and thoughtlessness in the world.   It is kind of hard to remember what we are thankful for.

So today without getting too mussy I will attempt to tell you things that I am Thankful for.

I am grateful for my job, yes being on the radio is a job but.  I am grateful that I get paid to talk to myself for 4 hours every day and get a paycheck (SUCKERS)

No really I am thankful that I do have a profession that doesn’t feel like a job on most days.

I am thankful for my health, such as it is.  Bad knees and bad feet I am thankful that I can walk.  More on health, I was declared cancer free by my Doctor and when you get to hear that….. What else really matters?

I am thankful for friends both old friends and new friends, in one way or another you have made my life so enjoyable.

I am thankful for my family, most of us are far apart but know that I love you.

I am thankful for sleep.  This year has been rough on me and sleep.  Yes sleep.   I have had many nights this past year with little of very little sleep.  To be honest I usually don’t get into real sleep until 1am.   When that alarm clock goes off at 4:15 I am not thankful for that.

I am thankful for you.  Yes you, the people of KOOL those that listen every morning.  I am thankful for all the kind words you give me.   I t really humbles me to know that you are there and I am not so naive to think that everyone likes what I do.    I really do THANK YOU>

Finally I am great full for my wife Teresa.  It was 24 years ago this weekend that Teresa agreed to share her life with me and allow me to share mine with her.   She puts up with my many quirks.  She is there for me when I am happy and when I am sad.  Her smile has comforted me when I have been ill.  She truly is my best friend and the love of my life.   I do not know what I would do without and God willing I won’t find out

I thought I could get through this without getting to mushy.  But MUSHY I DID!


Today on the morning show Thanks giving facts

Stupid news A Cop and a Ref make bad choices

Laff Line: Lot of Stand up about Thanksgiving.


Like most of you I have fond memories of Thanksgiving.

My mother worked hard and it seemed to me as a kid she almost had Thanksgiving off every year.  I remember the drives to grandmother’s house.   Going to Grandmothers house meant I would get to see my cousins and most of the time my cousins from St. Louis would be there too.  We had a great time together and our Friday after Thanksgiving would be our time for Christmas together.    I miss those days

My 1st year of college found me by myself in Rexburg Idaho.  But a great friend invited me to come to his house in east Carbon Utah.  We left Rexburg during a near blizzard and almost wrecked in Rigby.  Our 8 hour drive turned into almost 14 hours to get to his home.

Thanksgiving afternoon my friend and a bunch of his friend went rabbit hunting.   The handed me a single shot 22 and said follows those tracks.  As I walked I couldn’t help myself I started talking to myself like Elmer Fudd” Wabbit season”

That ended when a heard a shot go off and then a sound of a bullet flying by.   Elmer Fudd was done and I started shouting like Hulk Hogan “BROTHER NO MORE SHOTS, I JUST HEARD A BULLET…   (INSERT A FEW CURSEWORDS HERE) and I made my way back to the trucks.  I have never hunted again


One of the great TV moments from WKRP and yes watching that is a tradition.  But with that memory comes a radio station memory that could have had a very nasty ending.

I was part owner of a small station in Missouri and like a lot people did we hired a Helicopter to fly Santa in on a Black Friday.  I am broadcasting from a shopping center waiting to see the Jolly bearded fat man.   Things went great a large crowd lots of excited kids and happy faces everywhere.

Off to city # 2 of this adventure and the pilot asks if I want a ride to the next city.   YOU BET I DID.  My 1st and only helicopter ride.  I am glad to tell you I survived.

Take went great and we started our flight when in less than 3 minutes we hit a fog bank.   We could not see.  More importantly the pilot could not see.  There was just enough visibility to make our highway so we flew lower and that mean POWER POLES.

The piolet did have to make a few adjustment so we would not crash, but the fog got thicker. We were in trouble.

We started recognizing some landmarks and knew we were close to our landing site when the piolet made severe turn and I saw a grain silo up close and personal.

Right after that we found a high school and landed on the football field.   The flight itself wasn’t bad for me.  The headset I had on was not working and I could not hear the piolet freaking out.   Right after we landed the pilot and my partner got out of the chopper and threw up.   The pilot was a Vietnam War vet and this scared him as much as anything he saw in Vietnam he told me later.    Today I am grateful for broken headsets.

In the year 2000 Thanksgiving was unusual to say the least.  I had been very ill and spent a week in the hospital until the Wednesday before Thanksgiving the Dr’s said I was well enough to be home with my family.

One problem.  I had been so ill that the Dr’s pumped me full of antibiotics that the good bacteria in my mouth and that canker sore in my mouth 37 of those things were counted in my mouth.  At home my Thanksgiving dinner was a couple of spays of a mouth numbing concoction and mashed potatoes.   I

2 more short memories.

Several years ago we went our in-laws house for the feast of the Turkey.  One problem the bird would not cook.  It was thawed properly but it would not cook.  Hours of extra cook time and the safe temp for eating was never met.   So Turkey in the garbage and then a feast of all the fixings and Hot Dogs.  Yes Hot Dogs, and yep it was great.   Every year I ask and ask for a Hot Dog Thanksgiving

But my best Thanksgiving memory happened 24 years ago when on Thanksgiving night, with no plan or thought in my mind I asked my then girlfriend Teresa to marry m.  I had no forethought of asking her.  But that night I was inspired to ask and she said YES.   For that I am Thankful!

Today on the morning show what is on your table this year.  Black Friday for ME

Stupid news.  Shoplifters, a hamster and a polar plunge

Laff lines Thanksgiving and over eating