I AM AWARE SOME STARE AT MY HAIR

I DID NOT FIND MY PHONE!

No I did not find by &^&$ phone and that kind of made me grumpy all day long kind of like with drawl symptoms I guess.  But today I am happy man.  Why?  I am so glad you asked.  I bought a new phone!  Now to get a dumb guy used to a new Smart phone!

Today as I was doing the morning show I used part of a song called “Get a Haircut” by George Thorogood I started thinking about hair.

I guess you could say I am an Old Hippie because I have always wanted my hair to be a little long.  However most of the time my hair was shorter than I wanted.

As a kid I had the buzz but didn’t want it.  There is even a picture with my Dad and I just before he passed and I was in a barber’s chair and getting a haircut.  He was laughing and I was crying.  I wanted my hair.  I was even told that I played outside so much one summer that my hair bleached out and I was blond.

But growing up in the late 60’s and 70’s everyone one had long hair.  My mother didn’t like it but she was ok with the longer hair until I decided that I would leave Memphis Tn. and go to college at RICKS now BYU IDAHO. And they had hair standards.

The day before I left for school my hair was pretty long and I had big bushy sideburns.  Yep I was “STYLEIN AND PRO –FILEING”

Then it happened back to the barber getting my air cut and once again I was crying because I wanted my hair!  But the good this about hair “IT GROWS BACK” sometimes.

Now as I age the hair on top is a lot thinner and the nice dark hair has given away to a gray almost white.

This summer I decided to let my hair grow and now it is pretty long which is OK with me and my wife says it looks good!  She has to say that we are married!

Here is a Poem about Hair from George Carlin

I’m aware some stare at my hair.
In fact, to be fair,
Some really despair of my hair.
But I don’t care,
Cause they’re not aware,
Nor are they devonaire.
In fact, they’re just square.

They see hair down to there,
Say, “Beware” and go off on a tear!
I say, “No fair!”
A head that’s bare is really nowhere.
So be like a bear, be fair with your hair!
Show it you care.
Wear it to there.
Or to there.
Or to there, if you dare!

My wife bought some hair at a fair, to use as a spare.
Did I care?
Au contraire!
Spare hair is fair!
In fact, hair can be rare.
Fred Astair got no hair,
Nor does a chair,
Nor a chocolate eclair,
And where is the hair on a pear?
Nowhere, mon frere!

So now that I’ve shared this affair of the hair,
I’m going to repair to my lair and use Nair, do you care?

——–

So as the weekend is here have a great time and if you will excuse me I will retire to my lair and use Nair… Do you care?

On the morning show there was Food and job advice

Stupid News including BYU- Karma and Political Zombies

Laff Lines is about Hotels

 

WANTED MISSING CELL PHONE

I LOST MY *&^% PHONE!

I don’t know what is worse losing your credit cards or you cell phone. I know I should shay losing your credit cards.  BUT I NEED MY PHONE!  It not only has priceless pictures or my Batman collection but it has all my games to!  I miss my games.

On Wednesday evening I was texting with a friend about 4:30.  After our conversation I was doing a few other things all while thinking about somewhere I needed to be about 6:30.  The time to go came up and I grabbed my coat keys and WHERE IS MY PHONE?  No problem I said to myself and 30 minutes later it was a problem.  WHERE IS MY PHONE?

I went to my meeting and told my tale of whoa, while my friends kidded me about it then said, oh you’ll find it.  WRONG ROTARY PHONE BREATH.

I got home and started the search, my wife help looking under the couch, between the seat cushions.  I retraced my steps leaving no stone unturned and alas all I found was some loose change in the seat cushions. SCORE

Now I am here at KOOL 103.9 contemplating what to do next, search some more or just go purchase another phone.  Not a great way to start my day, but it could be worse WRONG AGAIN CRACKED SCREEN BREATH!

I WANT MY DANG PHONE!

Today on the morning show we talked compulsive buying and how much it cost us.  Plus Gold Medal Hockey!

Stupid new:  No the loss of my phone is not included!  A lottery win: A nasty divorce and a tiny bathroom at a big price.

 

Laff lines: Jeff Dye on being immature

 

OUR NATIONAL ANTHEM

Isolated flat flag of the USA. Flat design.

Last Sunday night at the NBA all-star game pop singer Fergie created controversy with a some called a smooth jazz performance of our National Anthem.  I called it BAD!  One of the worst performances ever!  Give her credit she has apologized for offending those who just want the national anthem to be performed the way it written without all the changing of notes and tempo.

Over the years there have been many performances that make you proud to be an American and some performances that just make you cringe.  Even some that were controversial at the time but today draw praise.  The two that come to mind are the World Series when Jose Feliciano did what is now considered a classic performance but at the time it wasn’t. In 1983 at the NBA all – star game Marvin Gaye’s R and B performance drew many complaints yet today is considered a classic.  But if you heard Fergie warble through her performance you know it will not be considered a classic …….EVER!

I found an article from Billboard that has video of really bad performances of the National Anthem!   Here is a link to the article

https://www.billboard.com/articles/list/513562/10-worst-national-anthem-performances-ever

Whitney Huston did an incredible version but drew criticisms because she lip synced her performance and Carl Lewis showed that he might be able to run fast but the high notes caused his voice to crack.

I for one love the more traditional versions of The Star Spangled Banner like this one by retired Petty officer 1st class General Wilson before a Philadelphia Eagles playoff game this season.

But I will always remember a performance just after 911.  Lilian Garcia stepped up to the Mic in a WWE Pro Wrestling ring on September 13th of 2001 and gave one of the best performances ever.

Don’t get me started on political protest during the anthem.  I just believe that it is not a time to focus on our differences but to focus on what makes us the same. For good or bad WE ARE AMERICANS!

Today on the morning show we discovered new flavors of PEEP’S.

Stupid news was focused on toilets and poop!

Laff Lines Jerry Seinfeld on Call Wafting

I NEED COMFORT- I NEED FOOD

 My wife Teresa and I are alike is so many ways. We both love sports, music, watching Super Hero movies (we watched The Avenger and Avenger Age of Ultron last night). With so many common interest in makes for a wonderful marriage.

One area where we don’t share a common interest in when we don’t feel well.   When my wife is sick she doesn’t want to eat very often.  But not Dave NO WAY DUDE! Bring on the comfort foods.  The only time that I don’t eat when I am sick is when you well you know have a reversal of fortune with you last meal, other than that when I am sick I want to eat.  My favorite comfort food is ground beef that has been cooked with some onion and garlic then after it is cooked you bowl it up add some Mayo or Ranch dressing and let the comfort begin.   I know it is kind of strange but that is my comfort food. That and a box of Little Debbie Snack cakes.  Yes a box!  I said it was comfort food not smart food and I need comfort a lot

Here are the top ten . . .  1.  Grilled cheese sandwiches. (I am not a fan of cheese but grilled cheese is yummy, add Tomato Soup)  2.  Chocolate. Mmmm 3.  Ice cream. My favorite flavor is COLD   4.  Pizza.  It was #1 in a different survey on comfort foods that came out in 2016. I rarely eat pizza   5.  French fries with Fry sauce of course.   6.  Macaroni and cheese NOPE NOPE NOPE I do not like Mac and Cheese.   7.  Mashed potatoes real ones not the powdered spuds.   8.  Cookies.  Specifically chocolate chip me the no bake cookies   9.  Fried chicken, I can do that 10.  Donuts as Homer Simpson said “Donuts isn’t there anything they can’t do.

So did you favorite comfort food make the list?  If not let me suggest a box of Little Debbie Snack cakes and you will feel better in no time.

On the morning show we talked about the three S’es and breakfast cereal.

Stupid news had a dad teaching his little girl how to drive, Lobster and a possible Wrestle Mania moment.

Laff lines is all about being a feminist.

 

 

 

PERSPECTIVE

DAVE’S MATTER OF PERSPECTIVE!

I like to say that our “Perspective” is our greatest influence on our opinions.   Here are two examples

  1. This weekend I was checking Facebook and saw two post that make my point. The 1st was a post by a conservative friend of mine that was full of wording blaming the ills of our country on liberals.  The 2nd post was from a liberal friend of mine that was full of wording blaming the ills of the world on conservatives.
  1. When I get to the radio station this morning I found some information which I talked about on” Dave’s Matter of Perspective”!

I had a good love and thought of the great Ringo Starr who on his birthday was us to chant “PEACE LOVE PEACE LOVE PEACE LOVE”

So as your go about your day and your life just remember everyone is entitled to an opinion even it is STUPID!

On the morning show today The NBA’s all-star game and the National Anthem

Stupid news was all about a Valentines present goes from bad to good.  Apple’s new building a Wndow’s? And A fight on an airplane.

Laff Lines Brian Regan on boat racing

I LOVE SUPER HERO MOVIES

 

The Marvel Movie “Black Panther” opens this weekend and is expected to break records.  I am stoked to see this movie because I love the character and face it Marvel movies are great. Well one exception but more on that later.

I haven’t seen every Super Hero films but man I do love them.  If you love the live action movies Marvel is for you.  If animation is your thing DC movies are the best.  I bought several on sale right when Justice League came.  The best DC animated film to me is “Under the Red Hood” Just a great movie.

But which movies are my favorited in the Super Hero genre.  You have to go way back to my childhood.  I remember watching “Superman and the Mole men” from 1951 on a Saturday morning.  I wasn’t born in 1951 but a few years ago I watched it again and it was pretty good for an old black and white film.   1966 Batman movie at the time for me was the ultimate.  It is campy and a cult classic.

Other Films I have enjoyed were Flash (based on Flash Gordon, with a killer soundtrack by Queen).  The Swamp Thing from 1982. Two comedy films from 1994 Blankman (Damon Wayans and David Allen Greer) and The Mask (Jim Carrey, need I say more).

As far as the Marvel movies go I would say some of my favorites in no particular order.   The Fantastic 4.  Spiderman 2.  All the Iron man Movies.  Captain America and Captain America Civil war.  The 1st X Men movie.  The Avengers.  And both Guardians of the Galaxy movies.

But since I enjoy the DC comic books the most I guess you would have to know several Batman movies make the list from the Michael Keeton Batman to all the others except one, can you guess.

The Batman Triology with Christian Bale I could watch and have watched over and over again.  And after a slow start to DC movies, I still like them all.  Even the Green Lantern which a lot of people didn’t like including Sheldon on the Big Bang theory.  The past few DC films were awesome Batman V Superman Suicide Squad. Wonder Woman and Justice League.  I can’t wait for more.

Now that I have told you favorites there are some that I wasn’t found of at all.  The Christopher Reeve Superman movies were OK but to me I was kind of disappointed.  Maybe since the 1st one feature Marlon Brando who most people thought of as a great actor, me NOT SO MUCH.

There are 2 Super Hero Movies that should have never been made and one is even a batman movie (notice it wasn’t capitalized) batman and robin was just a bad movie.  Then 2003’s Hulk made by Ang Lee had to be one of the worst movies ever made.  IT WAS TERRIBLE!

When you talk all-time favorites for me you can’t get better that “The Dark Knight” I still think it is one of the best films ever.

On the Marvel side” Captain America, Winter Soldier” The connection between Bucky and Cap is a classic and Black widow ain’t bad neither (Don’t tell my wife)

I hope to see “Black Panther” soon but I just don’t go to a theater when it is full.  Hope you enjoy it and of course TUNE IN MONDAY, SAME BAT TIME, SAME BAT CHANNEL.

What is your favorite soda?

Here is a link to the list

https://www.ranker.com/crowdranked-list/the-best-sodas-of-all-time

Stupid news: Bad Drivers, getting lost in a sewer and NBC wants it “CLEANER”

Laff lines:  Jeff Heffron on his wife

 

HEY HON YOU GOT 33 THOUSAND BUCKS ON YA?

Before we start the blog today I feel I should send my thoughts and prayers to those affected by the shootings in Florida on Wednesday.   I feel each and every one of us is affected by senseless tragedy like this were at least 17 were killed for no reason except someone decided to do something evil.

After the shootings at the concert in Las Vegas, I joined others in the news media by not mentioning the shooter by name.  I feel like by using the name of those who choose to do these acts of violence that it somehow ads to the infamy of the act.

I want answers just like you do on why acts like this happen and what we can do to prevent them.  However I am not sure we can ever stop them.  Mass Murder has been a part of history but now we have more horrific ways to kill.   I will not try to blame any segment of society, I will not put the blame on anyone other than this punk who made this decision to kill.

I have a friend who is agnostic and once after a tragedy like this shooting I said I know you do not believe in God but you have got to believe in the evil that grips this world.

I will not let these acts of violence alter my life but it will make me more vigilant, more watchful of others actions and most importantly I will be more loving to my family and friends because as we know these acts can happen anywhere at any time.

With much sadness in my heart

Dave

As I have told you I am not much on Valentine’s Day.  My wife and I spent a quite night at home together and had a nice fast food dinner.  I am such a romantic.

I read something this morning that made me think of the song.  “THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO HUMMM”

According to American Express nearly 6 million people got engaged on Valentine’s Day. Yahoo Answers says about 10 percent of proposals happen on the lady of LOVE.

So now with all the proposals it is time to start planning the wedding and an online wedding service called the KNOT claims that the average cost of a wedding is $33, 391.   Holy wedding cake Batman!  I guess I am kind of old fashioned but that is more than shocking

Here are a few stats from THE KNOT

Top 2017 Wedding Statistics

  • Average Wedding Cost: $33,391 (excludes honeymoon)
  • Most Expensive Place to Get Married: Manhattan, $76,944 average spend
  • Least Expensive Place to Get Married: New Mexico, $17,584 average spend
  • Average Spent on a Wedding Dress: $1,509
  • Average Marrying Age: Bride, 29.2; Groom, 30.9
  • Average Number of Guests: 136
  • Average Number of Bridesmaids: 5
  • Average Number of Groomsmen: 5

Top 5 Most Expensive Places to Get Married

  1. New York – Manhattan: $76,944
  2. New Jersey – North/Central: $62,074
  3. New York – Long Island: $61,113
  4. New York – Westchester/Hudson Valley: $55,357
  5. Massachusetts – Cape Cod: $55,083

Top 5 Most Affordable Places to Get Married Based on average cost of a wedding in 2017, couples spend the least on their weddings in the following areas in the US.

  1. New Mexico: $17,584
  2. Utah: $18,516
  3. Oregon: $20,652
  4. Montana: $20,814
  5. Iowa: $21,982

When I got married all I my wife wanted was some friends and family there and lots of presents!

What I am trying to say is that if I thought a wedding was going to cost more than 33 thousand dollar I might still be single.  But luckily I am not!

If you have the money to spend go ahead spend it on the wedding it is a great day, I highly recommend Marriage!

Today on the morning show Utah is number 1.

Stupid News:  a Lawsuit, Pizza and Butts!

Laff lines: Super Bowl Babies

 

 

YOU GOTTA MARRY ME NOW!

The best thing about Valentine’s Day is that all that Valentines Candy goes on sale Thursday morning!

I hope you have a great day today and if Valentines is not your thing have a great Wednesday.

I just remembered a fun Valentine’s Day I had a long long time ago.  I was working in Rexburg Idaho on Valentine’s Day when my boss comes in with some mail for me, it was in a pink envelope with hearts and cupids all over it.  Before I opened it up the boss had everyone come into the studio to watch me open it.  I guess my face turned bright red as a read aloud the card,   on the front was BABY’S 1ST VALENTINES, then when I opened the card it read JR MISSES YOU.  Boy, everyone was wanting to know if I had a child?  NO was the answer, the card from a friend who sent it as a joke.  I worked the entire station was talking about it and on the air too!

My friends Janet and Kristen were cousins and roommates and we were all good friends.  On Valentine’s Day the year before at the same radio station I was on the air from 2pm to 6pm and I was taking dedications.  After my shift I was going to have dinner with my friends so I dedicated a song as I left and dedicated it to Janet and Kirsten.  The song was King Kong by The Jimmy Castor bunch.  My dedication was to the 2 ladies who were the Gorilla’s my dreams.  I know kind of lame but funny too!

When I get to the apartment for dinner they had a gift for me.  It was another Baby’s 1st Valentine’s card and a Savage She Hulk comic book, it might have been the 1st one wish I had it today.

I always had a great time with my 2 female friends Janet and Kirsten. We were all crazy college kids and I could go on and on about some of the weird stuff we did.  Ok, just one story

One Sunday evening I was visiting Janet and Kirsten and having a great time when for some reason Janet comes out of her room with a pillow under her dress looking very pregnant.  Now remember this is Ricks College and we had an idea.  I started chasing Janet down the hall yelling “YOU GOTTA MARRY ME NOW”!  Just about that time we were at the TV Lounge and lots of people started looking out of the room wondering what was going on.  I got down on one knee and you could hear the women gasp as I said with a tear in my eye “YOU GOTTA MARRY ME KNOW”!   Without missing a beat Janet says in a high squeaky voice ‘I AM NOT GOING TO MARRY YOU, MY GOALS ARE THE TEMPLE’! The entire room burst out in gasp and laughter.

Here’s to a great Valentine’s Day

Today we found out why we get into a bad mood

Stupid news was about a license plate, a VW and a lawyer

Laff lines is all about Love and relationships

LOVE IT OR HATE IT VALENTINES DAY!

 

I am seeing a growing trend that kind of surprises me.  There appears to be people who don’t like Valentine’s Day.   I know it is kind of hard not to have that special someone in your life on a day set aside to honor LOVE.  I have been there and it is difficult.  I had many relationships end just before Valentine’s but there was the good side.  I GOT TO EAT THE ENTIRE BOX OF CHOCLATES!!!!! SCORE!

People are also calling February 14th Single Awareness day.  That’s cool too. 

But me I am really one of those who says it’s ok with me either way.  My wife and I have spent the last 2 years be romantic anyway.   The past two years that  has been the day we got in the car and went out ……. To have our Taxes done.   Yes I am a romantic guy after all.

Here are some interesting survey results about Valentine’s Day

The average person will only spend $34 total.

44% of people said they plan to spend NOTHING on Valentine’s Day this year.

The average guy plans to spend $41.  Women will spend an average of $26.

Apparently money CAN buy you love, or at least it makes things easier.  90% of couples who earn at least $200,000 a year say they’re “completely” or “almost completely” satisfied with their relationship.  That’s compared to just 64% of people who earn less than $30,000 a year.

54% of married people say they WON’T be going out to celebrate

13% of people say Valentine’s Day is their favorite holiday, according to a new survey.  But 6% say they hate it . . . and 5% say it’s the MOST DEPRESSING day of the year.

For those who hate the day here is the Anti Valentines montage

The survey also found that 23% of single women and 7% of single men say they’re fine spending tomorrow with their DOG or CAT instead of another person.

Also, 23% of single people are planning to treat themselves to a nice dinner . . . 21% will watch romantic comedies . . . and 18% will buy themselves a gift.

Hey when I was single I always bought something for myself on Valentines, Christmas and my birthday.  That’s the kind of guy I am.

Stupid News has a Texas man’s DUI defense.  An Elk and Goats

Laff lines: thank you notes from The Tonight show and Jimmy Fallon