WHAT SONG IS YOU WANT TO HEAR

I can remember the 1st time I ever heard the song “Free Bird” by Lynyrd Skyrynd… I was in the 11th grade ate beginning of a school day in “homeroom” It was in the schools band room and the teacher would let one person to bring in an album for us to listen too as we prepared for the rest of the day.

This particular day my friend Kendrick brought in the Album “Pounced” and my musical life changed forever.  What can you say about “”FREEBIRD” except it touched me in such a way that I have requested the song to be played at my funeral.

The anniversary of the plane crash in Mississippi in 1977 is this Sunday October 20th.  It was a Thursday and I was working the night shift at a radio station in Rexburg when the news broke of the crash that took the lives of lead singer Ronnie Van Zant; guitarist Steve Gaines and his sister, backup singer Cassie Gaines; Skyrynd manager Dean Kilpatrick, as well as the plane’s two pilots Walter McCreary and William Gray. All the other members of the band suffered horrific injuries, from which they eventually recovered.

The band eventually reformed with Johnny Van Zant on lead vocals.

For several years the band would only do an instrumental version of the song.  This is from The Volunteer Jam with Charlie Daniels joining the band.

In 1991 I finally got to see the band in concert and that tour was the first that Jonny Van Zant would sing the vocals.

Over the years the band has seen band members die away and in 2019 Lynyrd Skyrynd calling it quits.

I will always be part of the SKynyrd  nation

Today on the morning show: The Friendship zone:

Stupid news:  three stories about Sponge Bob Square Pants

Laff Lines;

FEELING OLD

YOU ARE ONLY AS OLD AS YOU FEEL AND I FEEL OLD!

At one time of my life I was a thin good looking young man with a full head of hair.   OK, I was never thin.  But I was thinner, somewhat.  My hair has become gray and I am still good looking.  Hahahahahahahahhahahahahahah

As much as we try you can’t stop getting older.  That is what we do.  All the creams, lotions, pills, dyes, and plastic surgery doesn’t keep Father Time from taking its toll.

You might remember  a stupid news story  we had a story of a man in the Netherlands who is 69 years old and he is going to court.  TO CHANGE HIS AGE!  He says that he identifies with being 49 years old.   Another reason he wants to legally change his age is so he can meet more women through social media.

Hey Bubba no matter what you do your body is still 69 and you are becoming a vain old coot.  Is that too harsh. Ok you are becoming a vain old idiot.  Ahh I feel better now.

Age didn’t creep up on me, Age came up to me face to face and laughed in my face.

Two things happened to me that made me age quickly.

In the year 2000 I had dark hair and beard but I became very ill.  I spent so much time at the Dr’s office and in and out of the hospital and the stress of that illness turned my hair grey very quickly.

Just a few years ago another thing happened to age me quickly.  I broke my foot.  That doesn’t sound so bad now does it?  But that broken foot led to other things.  I had a screw put into my foot and when I finally got out of the walking boot the extra stress on my opposite knee had caused enough damage that I needed a knee replacement.  A 3 day hospital stay became 2 and a half weeks.  Today I can walk, but I am not what I used to be.   But then again who is!

Here are the top ten simple tasks that get a lot harder as you age . . .

  1. Picking things up off the floor. (The floor needs to be a lot closer)
  2. Opening jars or packaging. (Not a problem …….YET)
  3. Getting up and down the stairs. (I hate stairs, but I always have.  In college I once fell down the same flight of stairs 3 times in a 24 hour period)
  4. Household chores. (What, I have chores)
  5. Getting in and out of the bathtub. (Shower time)
  6. Standing up out of a chair. (Major for me, I need most chairs to be just a little higher)
  7. Walking long distances.  (Bad feet, bad knee’s)
  8. Using modern technology. (Dag gum fancy computers anyway)
  9. Putting your shoes on, and taking them off.
  10. Driving. (Not a problem….. yet.  I am a great driver…..  At least I am a good driver… well above average. Only one ticket in my life!

So as you can see we get older some age gracefully, some …..  Not so much.

Just remember this “AGE IS ONLY REALATIVE. I AM JUST GLAD I HAVE REALATIVES OLDER THAN ME”

Today on the morning show Sandwiches

 

 

Stupid news:  I fought the law and Rats

Laff Lines:

 

THE BOSS IS NOT ALWAYS BRUCE

Image result for the boss

  

Today is National Boss’s Day.  I have been on both sides of the desk and I hope that the times I have worn that bosses hat that I was a good one.

I know that we have all had THE BAD BOSS.   I have had two of those in my life and it is not easy to work for someone you don’t respect.  I am a lucky man today because I can say I have great respect for my Boss and supervisors.

NOW I CAN GO WASH MY BROWN NOSE!

No really I do have respect for my boss and supervisor.

When I have been the boss I found myself trying to juggle being fair not only to my employer but to those I was supervising who were my friends.  I found myself struggling with that.  I came up with a solution that worked for me if I ever had to do the boss thing.  I drew a line in the sand.  I was their friend but I had a job to do, so I would tell them this is Dave the boss.  It worked well….most of the time.

Early in my career I was at a Friday night station party and knew my co-worker had to be at the station at 6am.                                                                                 Let’s just say she was having a good time and maybe too much of a good time.

It was 5:15 when I was snoozing away when the phone rang.  “Dave I am so sick, can you go in and work for me?”

Dave the boss had to step up.  “There is difference between being hungover and sick and you are hung over, so I suggest you go to work and be hungover while doing it”   The conversation got a little heated until I reminded her that she knew she had to work and made the decision to get drunk anyway, so she either worked or might lose her job.

Harsh?  I don’t think so but I did consider this woman one of my good friends so it was hard to do. When I replaced her at noon I knew she was more than upset and she didn’t speak to me for 2 weeks.  But our friendship survived and we are still in touch via Facebook.

That experience showed me how hard it can be to be The Boss.

Rock and roll hall of fame nominees are out.

Stupid news

ROLLIN WITH THE FLOW

Rollin with the flow that is kind of the way I approach life.

But life seems to be flowing at a pace where I want to scream

SLOW DOWN

I have been  dealing with a few health issues for the past few months.

I recently had surgery on my left elbow for a nerve issue.  At the same time I had surgery on my left wrist to repair a torn tendon.  That included screws and pins.  The pain from that surgery is still there and causes more pain than I thought it would.

The flow continues to increase with two Dr visits on October 29th.  One to examine the wrist and put on a new cast.  Second Dr is to discuss a possible neck surgery for this fall.

But as the song say’s “IT JUST KEEPS ROLLING ALONG”.

Today I get to go to the dentist and have a wisdom tooth removed!

So can there be any more flow?

It is cold and flu season…. You never know with the FLOW..

 

Stupid news: Linus and dog pooh

Laff lines:

HOW CAN YOU EAT A HAMBURGER WRONG

I have a body made from hamburgers. So when I heard that you can really eat a hamburger wrong?    I was put into a state of shock!

There’s a tweet that’s going viral right now from Business Insider’s food website, Food Insider.

They say we’ve been eating burgers WRONG for our whole lives . . . and we’re supposed to eat them UPSIDE-DOWN.

The theory is that the top bun is bigger than the bottom bun, so it’ll do a better job absorbing all the juices and condiments, and keeping everything together . . . so your burger won’t be as likely to fall apart or drip as you eat it.

I never thought in a million years that I Dave Denton with a body made of Hamburgers (and bacon) have been eating my burgers wrong!

I hear people say that the best hamburger has a little pink in the middle.   I used to think that too and for most places I still do.  However a few months ago at a restaurant my wife and I go to a lot a waitress suggested we try the burger with a char and as she said squished.  OK?   Dang that is the way to eat a burger at this particular restaurant.  The flavor is unreal and add bacon YUM!

I have seen people who do not like getting things on their hands eat BBQ ribs with a knife and a fork.  Not me but more power to them.

Some people put milk on the cereal and wait for it to get soggy.   I prefer crunchy cereal except for Captain Crunch which to me is better soggy.  LOL

I even know a guy who loves shrimp but he prefers not to peel them!   Yep tail and all popped right in the mouth.

When I was in Louisiana I developed a love of boiled crawfish.  At one dinner at my boss’s house we had a huge Crawfish boil and I was digging in while my boss was right next to me.  He was a true Cajun and after tearing the tail off and pinching the end to get the meat, he would take his thumb and insert it into the crawfish then pull it out with what I presume was fat and body juices insert his thumb in his mouth and eat it.  I told my boss” Louis, please don’t fire me, but you are making me sick”

My point is eat your food the way you want.  Don’t be gross about it and try to use table manners, we are a civilized people……well you are anyway.

Pass the Ketchup!  No wait pass the Mayochup!

       

Vape that e- cig

Stupid news

 

Laff lines

 

I AM A WILD A CRAZY GUY

 

I am going to date myself here … It was October 11th 1975 it was a Saturday night and I was a freshman at Ricks College.  I was in the TV lounge and we hear this.

The 1st Saturday night live and I knew then my life would never be the same.   The show influenced so much of my life with so many talented performers

The first season included Chevy Chase Dan Ackroyd, John Bulushi, Jane Curtin, Gilda Radner, Garret Morris, Laraine Newman and George Coe (only one show).

One great Saturday night live memory would come the next year still at Ricks but not in front of a TV but sitting in the arena at Ricks waiting to see The Carpenters in concert when the warm up act came out with a Banjo and a fake arrowhead on his head.  It was Steve Martin and the next Saturday there he was on Saturday night live.

Bill Murray,  Eddie Murphy,  Adam Sandler, Mike Myers , Dana Carvey, Tina Fey, Seth Myers, Amy Poelher, Mya Rudolph , Jimmy Fallon , Will Ferrel, Tracy Morgan, David Spade, Chris Rock, Juila Louis-Dreyfus are just a few of the names that are still influencing pop culture and comedy  jut think of the catch phrases we still use today

“Buh-bye” (David Spade as Total Bastard Airlines flight attendant)

“I’m Chevy Chase – and you’re not” (Chevy Chase as anchor on Weekend Update)

“Schwing!” (Mike Myers and Dana Carvey as metalheads Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar on Wayne’s World)

“You look – mahvelous” (Billy Crystal as Fernando)

“Baseball has been berry, berry good to me.” (Garrett Morris as baseball player Chico Escuela)

“Yeeaah, that’s the ticket.” (Jon Lovitz as Tommy Flanagan, the Pathological Liar)

It’s always something.” (Gilda Radner as Roseanne Roseannadanna)

Ve just vant to pump – you up!” (Dana Carvey and Kevin Nealon as Hans & Franz)

“Talk amongst yourselves.” (Mike Myers as Coffee Talk host Linda Richman)

“I’m Gumby, dammit!” (Eddie Murphy as Gumby)

“I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!” (Al Franken from Daily Affirmations With Stuart Smalley)

“Strategery.” (Will Ferrell as presidential candidate George W. Bush)

“We like ourselves, don’t we?” (Dana Carvey as The Church Lady)

“…Not!” (uttered by Mike Myers and Dana Carvey as Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar following any statement on Wayne’s World)

“I can see Russia from my house.” (Tina Fey as vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin)

Daaaaa Beeeears!” (Bill Swerski’s superfans)

“”It’s always something.” (Gilda Radner as Roseanne Roseannadanna)

To be honest there was always a way to see which of my friends had been watching Saturday Night live.  On Sunday mornings at Church you would see the guys shaking their bodies like Steve Martin and Dan Akroyd and the 2 WILD AND CRAZY GUYS! All we had to do was to use any one of the catch phrases and you would hear the giggles of a bunch of WILD AND CRAZY GUYS LOOKING FOR THE FOXES!

Thankfully later the Church Lady would come along to save us…

Stupid news

Laff Lines

 

 

 

I HATE DOING THAT

 

In life there are things that we do that we hate doing

The Dishes,

Taking out the garbage,

Waking up on Monday to go work,

Speaking in public

Having a prostrate exam.

Yesterday, I did something not on that list.

I GOT A HAIRCUT!!!!!!!!!!!

I have never liked getting my hair cut.  Don’t know why but I hate it.

It might have something to do with growing up in the Hippie era.  I wanted to be KOOL and my mom wanted me to get my haircut.  As much as I complained I wound up with a haircut and I would say to myself,”it will grow back”

As I get old and grey I am not do sure if my hair will back, well not if you could see my hair loss on the top of my head.

 

Stupid news

 

Laff lines

 

II GOT MINE … GET YOURS ….. ASK FOR A SUCKER

   

I got mine but didn’t get a sucker,

The past 25 years I have made sure to get my flu shots and every year I hear the same thing.

Some people get sick as soon as they get a flu shot that is true but rare.  My mother was one of those unlucky people.

Then others will say “I got the shot and still got the Flu”

Once again rare but does happen.

Like I said I have had a flu shot for 25 years and last year it happened to me.  I came down with flu like symptoms went to insta care was prescribed Tami Flu and went home stay near a bathroom for flu like reasons   After a couple of days I was feeling great, decided to run some errands and KABLAMO. Round 2 and the flu hit hard worse than round one.  I gave up went home “Ride the Storm out”

1 time out of 25, if I wanted to do the math which I don’t I would say those are good odds.

I encourage you to get that shot, is it 100& nope but its better odds than Vegas.    If you have question ask your DR. Bear river Health Department or your Pharmacist.

And don’t forget to ask for your sucker

DON’T FORGET TO CUT OFF YOUR SLAUSEN

It’s not like drive time on the 405 in LA but traffic in Cache valley and northern Utah is getting crowded!

Yesterday my wife and I were driving to a birthday party for a friend in Nibley   it was almost 6pm and the line of traffic on the highway was long and going fast.

For me that was a bit of a shock because I usually don’t drive at high traffic times. (Traffic is kind of sparse at 5am.  Even then you sometimes you would be shocked to see full parking lots of convince stores at that hour.

That is why as I was getting ready for today I found this.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, commute times just hit an all-time high.  The average American’s commute was 27 minutes one way last year . . . that’s two minutes more than it was a decade ago.

And that adds up.  It’s an extra 20 minutes a week . . . or 17 extra hours a year.

And all in all, the average person spends 225 hours, or nine full calendar days, commuting in a year.

So what’s leading to the increases in commute time?  One of the big reasons is cities not having enough housing, so people move further away . . . THEN cities not spending on roads and transportation, which makes their drives tougher.

I am really lucky because my commute is less than 10 minutes….. But for that 10 minutes I can have road rage.  You know the feeling when someone parks in your favorite parking space at the store……I hate that.

One other thing, I am bad at using the navigation system on my phone when I need it.  I miss the days of getting directions

 

MAN I HATE TRAFFIC

Today on the show

Stupid news

Laff lines

 

I AM A BAT GEEK

      

As you know I am a bit of the Bat Geek.

I collect Batman items and read Batman comics. What can I say but since the days of Adam West I have loved Batman stories.

The Rouges Gallery with names like Victor Zass, Mr. Freeze, Dead shot, Death Stroke and more have lead me to the Batcaver more than once,  So which villains are my favorite Bat Villains.

  1. The Court of Owls. Started in the new 52, this secret organization of Gotham’s richest and most evil citizens have ran Gotham’s underworld for years.
  2. Ra’s al Ghoul. The leader of the League of Asians who knows Bantams secret and what him to take over the league. Ra’s in even the Grandfather of the current Robin Damian Wayne.

3 Bane, Steroid’s on steroids that is the Venom that gives Bane his super strength.  Just like in the movie Bane broke Batman’s back in the Knight Fall series.

  1. Might be a surprise but at number 2 I would say The Joker. Now I haven’t seen the current Joker movie but I will.  One note about the Joker is that the Joker origin in the comics has the clown prince with no identity,
  2. Cat woman, I guess my young boy hormones kicked in about the time of Julie Newmar purring on the screen.

A few years ago on According to Jim, Julie appeared as Jim’s neighbor which had this scene

So eventually I will venture to the Theater to see This Joker.  After all I am a Bat Geek

This morning

 

Stupid news

 

Laff Lines