Valentine’s Day is this Thursday, a day to tell the people who mean the most to us that we love them!  Aww that’s nice!

I am happily married man!  My wife and I agreed before we got married that Valentine’s Day would not be a day we would go spend lots of money on.

But over the years I have seen a little backlash on Cupid and his arrows.  I have nothing against Valentine’s Day.  Face it I am like most men.   I don’t care about it.

Here is a something I read from

According to a new poll, the #1 gift GUYS want to get for Valentine’s Day this year is . . . NOTHING.

Over 500 men were asked what they want, and 41% said they don’t want anything for Valentine’s Day.  It’s possible a lot of those guys just aren’t in relationships though. 25% of women also said they don’t want anything this year.

The top five gifts women DO want to get are a card . . . candy . . . flowers . . . jewelry . . . and a massage.

The average amount of money spent 50 dollars.

The top five gifts men want are candy . . . a card . . . BOOZE . . . breakfast in bed . . . and a book.

Like I said I am not opposed to Valentines so I have thought long and hard about what I would want for Valentine’s Day.   It is a gift that almost all men would love to get (….. get your mind out of the gutter…)


Over the years friends and family have surprised me with Bacon gifts!   I even have received Bacon Roses yes they are made with real Bacon. Here is a Video on how you can make Bacon roses

Today on the morning show a story that is all about Christmas…. Yes Christmas

Stupid news:  A radio station in Alaska is giving away a dozen roses and it is making some people angry.   In California an unusual accident.

Laff lines: Being average looking


There is an expression “I feel like a Million bucks”.  Well over the past few weeks I feel like a buck 57!

But there is hope for me!!!!

A new study says if you want to “feel like a million bucks,” you can do it for about 99.4% less money than advertised.

The researchers found that when people spent an average of $205 on clothes and shoes, $214 on accessories, and $208 on other things like getting a haircut or makeup, they said they felt like a million bucks.

So for only 627 dollars you too can feel like a million bucks!


Just pay a separate shipping and handling change and you can feel like 2 million bucks.  Average shipping and handling charge is only 627 dollars!

I guess I could use a go fund me account.  On account I am not got no money!  LOL

Maybe a trip to Vegas with that 627 dollars and go to a high end buffet and make them cringe when I hit the desert table!   That would make me feel like a million bucks

Saturday is National Pizza day:

Stupid news: A found wallet and a couple of clowns messed with the wrong Granma and Grandpa

Laff Lines; the Dentist


When it comes to my health nothing is simple.

Almost 20 years ago it was complications from Kidney stones.  3 years ago a Knee replacement was supposed to have a 3 day hos


One month ago I started feeling a little sick. OK, I can handle a little sick.  I left the station early on Friday and Saturday I was at Insta-care.  Flu like symptoms I was told and I was given meds and sent on my way.

A few days later just when I started to feel better KABLAMO. I was even sicker, all the flu like symptoms I had seemed to triple, along with headaches and fatigue.

But as they say on the late night TV commercials “WAIT THERE IS MORE) a sinus and gland infection.  Back to the Insta-care – meds -nose spray and those disgusting sinus washes.  Nothing, I was getting worse. On top of that my mouth and glands were so sore it was hard to talk.

I couldn’t even cheer during the Super bowl, I know that is a good thing since it was so boring I slept through the 1st half.  Just in time for the half time show— NOPE- I went on the WWE network to watch Halftime Heat which far more entertaining that the Super bowl halftime show.

This time I went to my regular Dr.  Who saw things the other Dr’s didn’t see.   So I think I am back on the mend—I hope?  You know with me there is always “BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE”.


Books can make you look smart

Stupid news: The barter system in St. Louis and New Orleans Saint Fan’s are bitter

Laff lines License plates


The 1st day of February is here, I can’t believe January 2019 has come and gone.  I guess in part since I have spent the past 2 weeks sick have help time fly along.

Two important things are happening this weekend.  Of course the Super bowl.  Go Snacks ,and Groundhog Day.  Why is Groundhog Day so important – it’s all about the movie I love The Bill Murray movie, but I am disappointed by one thing that some TV network doesn’t take the opportunity to play the Movie 24 hours straight.  It fits the theme of the movie and think of the publicity it would generate for a channel.

Sunday’s Super bowl with the Patriots and the Rams could shape up to be a great one.  I just hope that it is.  I know people who love the Pats and people who hate the Pats.

Who could blame them with cheating allegations and deflated footballs?   There’s Tom Brady who seems to be the perfect man.  One of the great QB’S and not only his own good looks but he is married to one of the most beautiful women in the world.  Those who dislike him often site the deflated footballs, (yeah that was at the very least borderline cheating) but remember he came into the NFL unheralded and made himself into one of the greats.

Then there is Bill!  Coach Belichick- a great coach and someone who does nothing to help his public image.  He mumbles through his press conferences and has been accused of at the very least stretching the rules and at the worst out and out cheating.

I have watched several interviews with him and even a documentary where he comes off a quiet man and a man with a good sense of humor.  It is just sometimes the man cannot get out of his own way.

I really don’t have a favorite in this one – That is not meant to be a PC answer because as you know I am an equal opportunity offender.   I just want a good game a few snacks and a possible nap.

I have long been a critic of the Halftime shows at the Super bowls.  To me, most of the shows are overproduced and some have been AWFUL.

But this Sunday I will be switching to the WWE network for “Halftime Heat “for a six man tag team match streamed live on the network.  It is not the 1st time the WWE has done this in 1999 there was a WWE championship Match with the Rock Vs Mankind.

But the 1st time I remember alternative programing for the half time show was “Men on Football” featuring Performers from the Fox show “In Living Color” Fun but not for kids and in today’s PC climate I don’t think they could do it again.

Have a Great weekend and believe it or not there will be some people that will be watching the PUPPY BOWL!

Today on the morning show we had a JOB SHADOW.  Ashlyn Bair.   Ashlyn also celebrated her 14th birthday on our show today.


Here are some of the highlights with Ashlyn

Stupid news: A wedding update and Hell Froze over

Laff lines:   The Super bowl is too close to Valentines




I read recently that Super Bowl Sunday is 2nd only to Thanksgiving Day in food consumption!   Another reason to over eat YES.

Over the years the snacks for a Super bowl have been varied. One year in St. Louis I made Jambalaya and boy was it a hit.  In the 3rd quarter I glanced into the kitchen and 2 friends were talking standing over the pot eating from the pan.  Another friend kinda over did the eating and got ill.  His brain would not listen to his stomach saying “You know I can’t take that much spice.

 I made jambalaya several years in a row.

My favorite Super bowl snacks include Chicken wings, Hot dogs and Chili.  But I am not particular I just love food.

I am not sure what the snacks will be at my house this year (stupid flu) whatever my body can handle will be greatly enjoyed even if it is Pepto in one hand Diet Mt Dew in the other




  • The food website Delish analyzed Google data to figure out what Super Bowl food people in every state have been searching for the most.  Some are traditional snacks, some are WEIRD.

The most popular snack is Buffalo chicken dip . . . it’s the top Super Bowl food in eight states.

But NOT the states whose teams are IN the Super Bowl . . . they have some of the worst snacks of all.  California’s top Super Bowl food is baked chicken breasts . . . and Massachusetts’ is gluten-free pretzels.  (Say what, another reason to root for the Rams, I like baked chicken breast but gluten free pretzels??? Go Rams)

Here are the full results for every state.  (We typed them out because Delish decided to share their info in a way everyone loves: A 51-page slideshow.)


  • Alabama, white chicken chili . . . Alaska, nachos . . . Arizona, death by chocolate cake . . . Arkansas, chicken wings . . . California, baked chicken breasts . . . Colorado, broccoli cheese soup . . . Connecticut, Buffalo chicken dip . . .


  • Delaware, chocolate peanut butter cake . . . D.C., pigs in a blanket . . . Florida, cake . . . Georgia, Buffalo chicken dip . . . Hawaii, football-shaped cupcakes . . . Idaho, salad . . . Illinois, jalapeno poppers . . . Indiana, fried rice . . . Iowa, Irish stew . . .


  • Kansas, Buffalo chicken dip . . . Kentucky, salad . . . Louisiana, cupcakes . . . Maine, paella . . . Maryland, pizza . . . Massachusetts, gluten-free pretzels . . . Michigan, pizza . . . Minnesota, tacos . . . Mississippi, granola bars . . .


  • Missouri, broccoli cheese soup . . . Montana, lentil soup . . . Nebraska, pigs in a blanket . . . Nevada, vegan cheesy bacon spinach dip (huh?) . . . New Hampshire, cakes and cupcakes . . . New Jersey, Buffalo chicken dip . . .



  • New Mexico, pea and peppercorn mash . . . New York, spinach dip . . . North Carolina, cobb salad . . . North Dakota, baked nachos . . . Ohio, Buffalo chicken dip . . . Oklahoma, chicken noodle soup . . . Oregon, banana bread . . .


  • Pennsylvania, chicken wings . . . Rhode Island, seven-layer dip . . . South Carolina, turkey chili . . . South Dakota, cupcakes . . . Tennessee, cake . . . Texas, spinach dip . . . Utah, bacon-wrapped smokies ( Oh yeah we have a winner!!!!!!). . . Vermont, lasagna . . .


  • Virginia, Buffalo chicken dip . . . Washington, cake . . . West Virginia, Buffalo chicken dip . . . Wisconsin, Buffalo chicken dip . . . Wyoming, cake.

I am so proud of Utah Bacon wrapped Smokies are incredible and when you bake them but brown sugar on about half …… Desert!  TRUST A FAT MAN

GOOO SNACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!

The morning show: It’s cold

Stupid news: THE NAME GAME

Laff lines Hospitals



I am on the road to recovery but boy what a two week time.   The flu, I thought I recovered but NOOOOOOO! And now that has morphed into a sinus infection and a VERY PAINFUL infection in the glands under my tongue.

But I am not contagious, but the flu bug has hit several in the building.  I think we need to order some hospital bedding and a nursing staff here.

But since I am on the way back to health I can finally get excited about Sunday’s Super Bowl.  I would be more excited if the refs didn’t miss crucial penalties in both the NFC and AFC title game.   I guess I will have to root for the snacks.

My 1st memory of watch football was the 2nd Super bowl game between the Packers and the Raiders.  Some friends and I were our playing when one of the boys Dads invited us in and while watching the game he would explain what was going on.  Thus I became a FOOTBALL FAN!

Here are some facts you might not know about the game it self

Tom Brady has thrown 18 touchdown passes in Super Bowls, which is by far the most in NFL history.  The only other quarterback with double-digit touchdown passes is Joe Montana, who had 11.  Brady has already played in eight Super Bowls . . . twice as many as Montana, who was in four.

The QB with the second most Super Bowl appearances is John Elway with five.

  1. No quarterback has more combined rushing yards in the Super Bowl than Joe Montana, who has 105.
  2.  Emmitt Smith is the only player in NFL history to score multiple rushing touchdowns in multiple Super Bowls, with two.  In three Super Bowl appearances, he had 11 total catches, for over 300 yards, and five rushing touchdowns for the Dallas Cowboys.
  3.  Larry Csonka, and Terrell Davis are the only running backs in Super Bowl history to rush for 100-plus yards in multiple Super Bowls.  They each did it twice.
  4. Davis is the only player in Super Bowl history to rush for three touchdowns in a single game.  He did it when the Broncos defeated the Packers, 31-24 in 1998.
  5. Jerry Rice had 589 career receiving yards in Super Bowls, the most in NFL history.  The next closest receiver is Lynn Swann with 364.  That’s 225 fewer yards than Rice.
  6. Jerry Rice is the only player in NFL history to have 100-plus receiving yards in three different Super Bowls.  Deion Branch, Antonio Freeman, John Stallworth, and Lynn Swann have done it twice.
  7. Former Patriots kicker Adam Vinatieri has made the most field goals in Super Bowl history with seven.  However, the current Patriots kicker Stephen Gostkowski could tie or break that record this Sunday.  He has five.
  8. According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, Super Bowl Sunday is America’s “second-largest food consumption day.”  Only Thanksgiving Day beats it.
  9. Peyton Manning is the only starting quarterback to win a Super Bowl with two different teams:  The Indianapolis Colts in 2007, and the Denver Broncos in 2016.
  10. Ever wonder why players shout that they’re going to Disney World after the Super Bowl?  It started back in 1987 when Phil Simms was paid $75,000 to shout “I’m going to Disney World” on the field moments after the New York Giants won.
  11. The New England Patriots are going to their 11th Super Bowl, more than any other team.  But believe it or not, they have NOT won the most.  That distinction belongs to the Pittsburgh Steelers, who have won six.  The Patriots have won five.
  12. The priciest tickets to the first Super Bowl, which was played in 1967, only cost $12. Adjusted for inflation, that’s the equivalent of about $89 today.  And even at that bargain price, the event still didn’t sell out.Tickets for this year’s Super Bowl  but they’ll cost you almost $3,000 apiece.
  1. In 1980, the Pittsburgh Steelers became the first Super Bowl-winning team to visit the White House.  They visited with Jimmy Carter in a joint ceremony with the Pittsburgh Pirates, who’d won the 1979 World Series.
  2. If you didn’t know, in odd-numbered Super Bowls, the NFC team is the designated ‘home’ team while AFC teams enjoy that honor during the even-numbered Super Bowls.  So this year, the Rams are the ‘home’ team.  Of course, the game is played at a neutral site . . . this year it’s in Atlanta.
  3. Although the Baltimore Colts beat Dallas in Super Bowl 5 in 1971, Cowboys linebacker Chuck Howley was named the game’s MVP.  He’s the ONLY player in history to earn this honor as a member of the LOSING team.
  4. A new Vince Lombardi Trophy is handed out every year, and they’re made by Tiffany & Co. out of sterling silver.  Each one weighs seven pounds.

There’s never been a shutout in the Super Bowl.  The Miami Dolphins hold the record for fewest points scored in one.  In 1972, they lost to Dallas, 24-3.

  1. The 2017 Super Bowl was the first one to ever go into overtime.  That was the wild game where the Patriots came back to defeat the Atlanta Falcons 34-28.
  2. Perhaps not surprisingly, Cleveland is the ONLY current NFL city that has neither hosted a Super Bowl nor seen its own team, the Browns, make an appearance in one.
  3. From 1985 to 1997, the NFC won 13 straight Super Bowls.  During that streak, the NFC clubs outscored their AFC opponents by a cumulative score of 490-219.
  4. On San Francisco’s Super Bowl game-winning drive in 1989, Joe Montana saw a celebrity spectator . . . in mid-huddle, he nonchalantly asked his teammates, “Hey, isn’t that John Candy over there?”
  5. Despite all Brady’s accolades, he can’t beat this:  Montana not only won all four of his Super Bowl appearances, he did it without throwing a single interception in any of those games.
  6. During the 1995-1996 season, some proxy servers blocked the Super Bowl website . . . because it was Super Bowl 30, written as:  “Super Bowl XXX.”
  7. The coldest Super Bowl took place in New Orleans in 1972.  The Dallas Cowboys and Miami Dolphins battled 39-degree temperatures.  Atlanta is being hit with a winter storm this week, but by game-time on Sunday, they’re expecting temperatures in the mid-50s.

On todays show Flu kits and its cold

Stupid news: We spend a lot on takeout food and a Family game night gets violent (are you shocked)

Laff lines Vacations


In 1966 I was a Bat kid.  I wanted to be Batman.  When the TV series came on it was hey don’t bother me Batman’s on.  How Bat Crazy was I to this day when someone ask me what one of my favorite Christmas presents was I say when my mom got me a White Batman T-shirt with the batman logo on it.  I was in Bat hog heaven.  I think I wore it I grew out of it I loved that shirt.

Another Bat memory involves my Mother.  I had told you in the past where we didn’t have a lot of extra money but when The Batman Movie came to Memphis she took a day off of her work so I could go.   I remember waiting to get into the drive- in on what is now Elvis Presley Blvd.  I can remember Mom’s smile as she paid for our tickets and handed me the autographed Black and White Batman and Robin publicity photo.

You probably think my love of Batman took a few years off.  Not so- anytime there was a Batman Cartoon series I was watching.  The Super Friends I loved.

As the years went by the Michael Keaton Batman movies found me munching POPCORN and loving the stories.  Batman the Animated series is considered a classic.  And one of my favorite Batman shows of all time was Batman Beyond.  Some of the best dramatic writing on TV telling a great story of the relationships of an aging Bruce Wayne and Terry McGinnis.  It was and is one of my wife’s favorites too.  One year for Christmas she asked me for Batman Beyond the complete series.   Is she not the perfect woman for me?   Holy Matrimony —YEAH.

As more hero movies come out, my most anticipated ones always have Batman.  When I had my knee replacement surgery I was upset because Batman V Superman came out. (Yep I loved it)

Why this love of the caped crusader?  I think it was because he lost his parents early and I lost my dad early. Bruce Wayne always wanted to stand up to bullies and the bad guy and over the years I find myself sticking up for those who can’t themselves.

I collect Batman comics and action figures…  my collection though KOOL has very little value but I love looking at them and enjoying them

Last night I received a call from a friend who wanted to come over and give me something.  Hey a gift — I’m in.  My friend Mitch knows I have some mobility issues and made me a walking stick…. But not just any stick A BAT STICK.



Holy Splinter in my finger that is so KOOL

Yesterday at the radio station Will told me he had just interview Burt Ward.  Robin on the Batman TV show.  The interview is about 10 minutes and Burt talks about his charitable work and then about 6 ½ in they talk Batman

The website again is

Thanks will for letting me use this.  (He’s a big Bat fan too)

Stupid news: A snow day in Alaska and being open 24 hours in Texas doesn’t mean a lot

Laff lines Modern Parenting



How to make being sick into a great weekend.

Last Thursday I had an appointment to get a haircut but as I left my house I noticed I wasn’t feeling the best and by the time my hair was shorter I was hit hard.

To make a long story shorter.  I would up in insta car on Saturday morning and the diagnoses the dreaded FLU LIKE SYMPTOMS.   Dud I had a flu shot? “They don’t work all the time” he said.  I said several words that shall remain anonymous to protect the not so innocent and my job!  LOL

The Dr. gave us a prescription for Therma flu, and my wife dropped me off at home while she went to get stocked up for the weekend.  She was getting a chest cold  herself,  and she was so awesome all weekend taking care of me  while she wasn’t feeling great.

A few minutes later I get a text saying our pharmacy had ran out of the Therma flu and they were trying to find some in the city.  It took a while but medicine was on its way.


THE PILLS WERE ON A STIP OF PLASTIC WITH THE PLATIC BUBBLE  YOU KNOW THE ONES WHERE THEY SAY JUST PULL THE TAB IN THE CORNER  Yeah right I hope that I can survive getting the pills out.   This morning it took me almost 5 minutes.  I couldn’t get the little tab to come off the plastic.  The plastic with corners so sharp that you can carve a stake with them.  Oh day just bend it and take it off the card, the perforation for easy separation was designed by someone who didn’t quite crapes the situation.   I see the perforations but they don’t perforate.   Solution BLOT CUTTERS …. No I used scissors all the well questioning the designer’s parentage.

Rant ends here

The rest of the weekend was spent napping eating and watch the Marvel Super hero movies in order.  We watch Civil war.  All in all being sick on the weekend doesn’t sound like fun.  But mine was pretty fun!

I need to find some more scissors

Today on the morning  show :  When the Saints got screwed this weekend

Stupid news  Good news Bad News ,and a stupid burgalur

aff lines  Jeff foxworthery



I freely admit it, I am not the most educated man on the earth.  I just did not enjoy school.  I enjoyed learning but like my Mom told “You get good grades in subject you like” YEP MOM THAT IS ME

I also that my personality was one of I didn’t care if I got an A or D.  I did care about the F’s (not that I ever got one or 15) I always thought that if I was learning something the grades didn’t matter.  I found out later that good grades look good for resume writing.

What brought this on was a survey about our education from.

How much of what you learned in school do you actually use in the real world?  A new survey asked 2,000 people, and the average answer was 37%.

That means we think about two-thirds of the stuff we learned was basically useless knowledge.  Here are the ten real-world skills we WISH we’d been taught instead . . .

  1. Money management and budgeting. (I know that some schools are doing this)
  2. How to do your taxes.
  3. How to manage your emotional wellbeing and mental health.
  4. Understanding credit cards and student loans. (I can’t believe the amount of student loan debt there is,)
  5. How to negotiate. (I am getting better at that one)
  6. Time management. (Boy do I need that one)
  7. How to fix stuff around the house. (I am dangerous with a hammer or screwdriver)
  8. Relationship and conversational skills. (How about adding not being a jerk on social media)
  9. Car repair and car maintenance. (See number 7)
  10. How to find a job. (A life skill we all need)

The survey also asked people to name the most USELESS things they were forced to learn in school.

If you’re a scientist or math teacher, these might come in handy.  And some people may argue the benefits of having a base knowledge of this stuff.  But you probably don’t use it unless you’re helping your kids with THEIR homework . . .

  1. The Pythagorean Theorem to figure out the dimensions of a triangle. (I thought a theorem was something you took you temperature with)

(The equation is A-squared, plus B-squared, equals C-squared.) (I knew that)

  1. Knowing that Pi is 3.14. ( MMM PIE)
  2. Memorizing the periodic table of elements in chemistry. (I can’t even remember where I put my keys)
  3. Learning the different types of rocks . . . sedimentary, metamorphic, and igneous. (If you smell what the Rock is Cooking)
  4. Learning the parts on an atom. (That guy on DC’s Legends of Tomorrow
  5. Learning what mitochondria is . . . a.k.a., the “powerhouse of a cell.” (I ain’t going to Jail)
  6. Naming all of the presidents in order. (George Washington – Abraham Lincoln—Andrew Jackson— Ulysses S. Grant.  They are all on money that what I remember)
  7. Learning about osmosis(It’s the, quote, “process by which molecules of a solvent tend to pass through a semipermeable membrane from a less concentrated solution into a more concentrated one.”  Now you know. (I thought Osmosis was a panelist on the View)
  8. Learning how to make paper snowflakes in elementary school. (I learned how to write my name in the snow—does that count)
  9. Learning about photosynthesis in plants. (I just use my Cell phone photos now)


Today on the show: I am worthless on Fridays’ and The NFL playoffs

Stupid news:    Frosty’s Revenge and a stupid emotional support animal.

Laff lines: Being average looking



When it comes to money I always say “Money talks, I just wish mine had a larger vocabulary”

Do we ever think “Hey I have enough money” I am not sure if that is our human nature.   I am not trying to sound cynical, but sometimes have a little extra cash takes a little stress out of lives.

To be fair we do need to keep a perspective about our money and I hope we all can find time or money to help others.

Why all this deep thinking about money… cause I ain’t got none.   Well to be honest I am doing OK but ……..

Today a new sturdy from asked people what salary someone would have to earn to be rich.  And for the majority, the answer is . . . about $90,000 to $100,000.

Here are a few more results from the survey . . .

  1. The majority of people believe that being “poor” means you make less than $30,000-a-year.
  2. 2% of people think you’re rich if you’re making $100,000-a-year.
  3. And finally, 2% of people think you’re “poor” even at $100,000-a-year.

And then there is this that I read today about stay at home moms:  Everyone knows stay-at-home moms should be paid HUGE money for all the work they do . . . instead of the $0 they’re actually paid.  And this year, it turns out they’ve earned a big raise. just did its annual study on how much stay-at-home moms should be paid based on all of the jobs they do.

And the answer is . . . $162,581, which is up almost $5,000 from last year.

That’s based on a mom doing 34 different jobs, including Academic advisor . . . accountant . . . coach . . . day care worker . . . event planner . . . groundskeeper . . . interior designer . . . janitor . . . photographer . . . psychologist . . . nurse . . . tailor . . . and teacher.

I salute those stay at home moms.   It is getting harder and harder for a mom to stay at home.  Not only because of the economic pressure but also there is a social pressure to not be a stay at home mom.   I think that is a shame, the decision on being a stay at home mom or not is a personal decision and we (men and women) should not judge either way.

Here are some great quotes about money

 “Never spend your money before you have earned it.” —Thomas Jefferson

 “It’s good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it’s good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven’t lost the things that money can’t buy.” —George Lorimer

 “Many folks think they aren’t good at earning money, when what they don’t know is how to use it.” —Frank A. Clark

 “You must gain control over your money or the lack of it will forever control you.” —Dave Ramsey

 “A wise person should have money in their head, but not in their heart.” —Jonathan Swift

 “The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your back pocket.” —Will Rogers

Finally one of my favorite quotes about money.

“Your love gives me such a thrill, but your love it don’t pay my bills.  I want money”   Barret Strong and Motown records founder Barry Gordy Jr.


The morning show we talked Alexa.

Stupid news: getting kicked off a cruise ship.  And a peeping Tom picked the wrong house.

Laff Lines: Having a great wife