WILL I LOSE MY VOICE

Today is one of those day’s that everyone who works in radio dreads.   I have a sore throat and I don’t feel well.   Luckily I haven’t lost my voice and hopefully won’t.

I did happen to me several times but the worst was not in the dead of winter but in the summer.   It was close to the Cache Valley Cruise in the year 38 special was in concert.   I lost my voice!   I stayed on the air croaking away and had my friend and at the time Cruise in President Dave Harrison come to the station for an interview.  It was about 8:40 in the morning during the interview right in the middle of a question nothing came out of my mouth!  I remember Dave’s look of concern as he basically finished my question and then answered it himself.

I really wanted to see 38 Special but my Doctor said no.  However I lived very close to the fairgrounds and sat outside with my wife and some friends had a picnic while listening to the band.

So if you hear me and it doesn’t sound like me better call Dave Harrison.

When you are sick, or in a bad mood you crave COMFORT FOODS!

For me any food is a comfort food but when I don’t feel well my food of choice is hamburger meat not on a bun but lack of a better term scrambled hamburger.   Break up the meat in a sauce pan with some onion and spices cook that up put in in a bowl and mayo and AHH COMFORT!

The Huffington post listed the Top 10 comfort foods

10 Chocolate Pudding.  9. Cheeseburger.   8. Tomato Soup.  7. Baked Zito (I don’t even know what that is but a quick google say’s it is an Italian Mac and Cheese) 6.  Dumplings.  5.  Pizza.  4.  Taco’s.  3.  Mac and Cheese the non-Italian kind 2.  Mashed potatoes and #1 is a grilled cheese sandwich!

I was shocked that Ice Cream didn’t crack the top 10.  But fear not readers as Mr. Burns on the Simpson’s said I have a top 10 list of “So called Iced Cream”

Ben & Jerry’s just released their 10 best-selling flavors from last year, and clearly, no one looked at their “lighter” options.  Here’s the list . . .

  1. Half Baked . . . which is a combo of their Chocolate Fudge Brownie and Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice creams.
  2. Cherry Garcia.
  3. The Tonight Dough . . . which is caramel and chocolate ice cream with chocolate cookie swirls and chunks of cookie dough.
  4. Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough.
  5. Chocolate Fudge Brownie.
  6. Americone Dream . . . which is vanilla with pieces of waffle cone covered in fudge and a caramel swirl.
  7. Phish Food . . . which is chocolate with marshmallow, caramel, and fudge fish.
  8. Chunky Monkey . . . which is banana with fudge chunks and walnuts.
  9. Strawberry Cheesecake.
  10. Salted Caramel Core . . . which is sweet cream ice cream with pieces of blondies and a core in the center made of salted caramel.

On today’s show we talked about words that we should not use as much as we do.  Listen here

Stupid news is all about spiders, a lie in space and stolen Vodka.  Listen here

Laff lines is Kathleen Madigan on scary movies

 

 

 

MY LOVE HATE RELATIONSHIP WITH WINTER

 

I have a love hate relationship with winter.   Yes you can both love and hate winter.  Growing up in Memphis we would get snow about once or twice a year.  Sometimes a lot of snow.  I remember a few times we had over a foot of snow.   Of course when it did snow I was around the radio waiting for that announcement about a snow day.  Something I have only done on the air once or twice since I have lived in Logan.

When I was in Missouri on the radio there was a day when it snowed just a little and I knew the kids were gathered around waiting for me to make that announcement all kids want to hear ‘SNOW DAY” But on this day it was school as usual and I was really on the kids to get ready for school and talking about how parents were celebrating.   Later that day a friend called and told me about her little girl who was listening to me to here if school would be held.  The mom said as I was kidding the kids about going to school this sweet little girl looked at the radio and said ‘SHUT UP DAVE’

Why I love winter:  Nothing like seeing a fresh snow fall before anyone has walked on it or plowed.  It is an awe inspiring site.  I kind of like it cold.   My wife thinks I am pretty strange when we are walking on a cold winter morning and I breath in the cold air and say “ I Love this air it makes my nose hairs freeze”  weird right.  But I do love the sensation of the cold air in my sinuses.    I like wearing a jacket to stay warm.  I like a foggy cold morning when the fog blankets the fences and tree in a white powder.

Why I hate winter:  I hate driving on slick roads.  Black Ice is not fun.  .  When it is cold and you wear a jacket and leave it at work because it warmed up during the day.  I hate the taste of Chap Stick!  The sun goes down at 5pm and because of that it seems really late to me when it is only 6:30pm.  Filthy snow, you know the kind of snow that gets all black and dirty on the area’s where it was plowed.  Winter colds and flu, make you feel awful.   I have a pretty bad cold right now and I fear I will lose my voice.  Not a good thing for a radio guy.   But the thing I hate about winter the most is INVERSION.   I know I am preaching to the choir but Inversions are depressing and breathing is usually a good thing but not in an Inversion.

And winter can affect our jobs:  Listen here

 

And that’s why I have a love hate relationship with winter

Today on the morning show we talked politics and Oprah  Listen here

Stupid news:  Bed bugs, applying for a job and a car fire in Orem

Laff lines: John Pinnete on skiing:

 

 

I GREW UP WITH ELVIS –SORT OF– KIND OF- WELL NOT REALLY

 

I grew up in Memphis Tennessee, and no I did not know or ever see Elvis Presley but his influence did help shape my life.

I joke that if you wanted to pass 2nd grade in Memphis you had to do two things.  !.  Play “Wipe Out” on your desk using a yellow number 2 pencil.  2.  Do an Elvis impression.

The Elvis influence was everywhere. The City of Memphis even changed the name of Highway 61 which runs in front of Graceland to Elvis Presley Blvd.

There are lots of stories about the King from Memphis.  I knew 2 men who went to school with Elvis.  My Mother had a co- worker who was on a car lot looking at a certain Cadillac when Elvis offered to buy her any other car on the lot if she would let him purchase the car she was looking at.

One Christmas time several years ago I was home near the Holiday’s and my sister who is very artistic asked if I would take her in my van to drop off a Christmas Lawn Ornament to a Dr. She worked for.  The Dr invited us into his home and I told him how the young lady I was with and I had been to Graceland that day.  He got up and said he wanted to show us something and that something was his wedding album with the reception line and right next to him was Elvis! They had been friends for years and his wedding gift to the couple was a 2 week all-expense paid trip to Vegas to see him perform.

My best memory of Elvis involved my 1st job.   I would have to ride a bus to get to work and part of the bus ride took me to main street Memphis where I would transfer to another bus.  I soon figured out that I could walk to another bus stop which was directly across from Sun Records.  I would stand there and just think of all the talent that had recorded there.   Elvis, Jerry Lee Lewis, Roy Orbison and Jonny Cash.

One sad note about Elvis happened after his death.  My sister and I along with some friends went to go see the Pro soccer team “The Memphis Rouges”. Sitting a few rows in front of us was Dr Nick, (I can’t even try to spell his name) Dr Nick as he was known was implicated with over prescribing meds to Elvis which led to his death.    Some people near us started to yell at Dr Nick saying he killed Elvis and then started throwing things at him.   He got up and left the game.

I was a fan of Elvis but not the biggest fan that honor goes to my cousin Brenda!  But I do have a favorite song by the King and that is “AN AMERICAN TRILLOGY”

Happy Birthday to the King of Rock and Roll

 

On today’s show we remembered Jerry Van Dyke along with   words of wisdom from Bettye White and did you know BOOTY is a funny word!

Stupid news includes 3 crooks who are kind of stupid

Laff Lines Binge watching Netflix

THE FASHION POLICE HATE ME

I am not a slave to fashion and I prove it with this picture of what I wore to the station this morning.

Camo pants, a t-shirt from Sturgis and a vest!  I am just like The Nature Boy Ric Flair Styling and profiling

The idea for this blog came from something I read this morning. The Scrunchie is back.  Listen here;

Styles have come and gone and I might have tried them on and wore them at one time or another.  But I am no slave to fashion.

As a teenager my favorite outfit to wear was blue and white striped overall’s with a with T-shirt and a Blue and white cap.   I thought I was so cool!

When I left Memphis to go to Ricks College my mother made me wear a leisure suit on the plane.  Being the good son I was (you believe me don’t you) I put on that horrid contraption.  At the airport I waved to my mom as I got on the plane and then took that jacket off and NEVER WORE IT AGAIN!

That is not me but I did look just that goo!

I got to admit the disco craze did affect what I wore.  I wanted to impress the ladies with Polyester!   I even wore the stacked sole shoes that were so popular which made me about 6 ft. 3.  I went on a date with a young lady in the middle of winter wearing those shoes in Rexburg Idaho no less.  Not one the smartest thing I ever did.  As I walked back to my dorm after the date I was very careful as I walked, but just as I got to the dorm someone yelled “HI”.  I lifted my arm to wave and KABLAMO!   I fell on the sidewalk and let’s just say I didn’t say “Shucky Darn”

Before you think I am always a slob, I do own a suit some dress shirts and several ties.  The ties aren’t the usual plain ties.  I like the unusual funny ties or a tie with a theme.   I have ties that mean something to me with themes like the Little Rascals, Peanuts, The Simpson’s, The Utah Jazz, The St Louis Cardinals, Utah State and of course I have a Superman and Batman tie.   Yeah I even have conservative ties.    I think.

So when you are listening to the morning show picture me in the latest fashions, clean shaven, and perfect hair.  Then be thankful I am not on TV.

Today we also talked about being bored at work

Stupid news was about government stupidity, an update on a missing star and a break in at the Provo Police department

Laff lines: Jim Gafagan on his robe:

GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER

‘GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER” That little saying almost got me kicked out of Ricks College years ago.  I had a disagreement with a professor about the song “Nights in White Satin” He thought the meaning of the song was ….. How should I say this?   He thought it was a song that had a dirty meaning and I disagreed.   We actually got into an argument about it on the phone and eventually I had enough and asked him if liked to go Bowling?  He said yes.  I told him to ‘GET HIS MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER” and hung up the phone.  He made a complaint and I almost got kicked out of school.

Now that I shared that little story about bowling sort of.  Let’s get into some bowling for real.

I started bowling in the 5th grade, I guess my mom thought it was a good way to get me out of the house and not watching Professional Wrestling.  I really enjoyed it and even go an award for beating my coach!

Have you ever know someone who got injured bowling, I did.  No I didn’t fall , I didn’t throw out my back,  I didn’t drop the ball on my foot or my head.  But I did get injured and it hurt!

Some bowling alleys have covered ball returns.   The ones where your ball comes back through a big hole.  Well, in never ending quest to be a joker, I decided that it would be funny to act like a football QB and act like I was behind center waiting for the hike.  Not one of my smartest moves because I put my hands inside the ball return and SQUISH!   My hand got pinned between the ball and the ball return.   Let’s just say I was not quite about my pain.  I screamed and I screamed a lot and you know what a second ball came from behind and hit the first ball which caused even more pain.   The return had to be taken apart my hand was freed and just bruised but nothing broken.

I never bowled a 300 but came pretty close I bowled a 269!  It wasn’t in league play but strangely enough it was the day we buried my Grandmother.   We had had the funeral for my wonderful Grand mama earler in the day and a bunch of cousins went bowling that night to relax after a very sad day.   I picked up a ball at the alley that felt good and I guess my Grandmother helped me to bowl that 269.  Thanks Grand mama.

I haven’t bowled in years, bad knees and back kind of made me shy away from the sport.  I did try to see if I could start again and went with some friends to an alley and tried on some of the great looking shoes.  They wouldn’t fit!  I tried my shoe size 14 and nope and kept going up in size up to 17 but they didn’t fit.  Did I mention I have big WIDE FEET?   I could freak up some people with my footprint thinking they had found proof of BIGFOOT.  Nope just me with BIG FEET!

I saw a report from ESPN that a lot of pro athletes have taken up bowling as alternative to going clubbing!

So when someone tells you to ‘GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER’ you can tell them that Dave almost got kicked out of school because of that!

Today we talked Google and game shows.  Listen here

Stupid news had snow, glitter and chickens.  : Listen here

Laff lines: New Year’s Eve celebrations

I HAVE SUPER POWERS

 

Yes I think I have a SUPER POWER!  The power of Invisibility.   Now how is a man who stands at 6ft 1 and weighs in at (insert weight here) invisible?   Just like this clip from Night court.

Yep that was a young Michael Richards (Kramer)!

Now why do I sometimes feel invisible?   Because people don’t see me!   Every time I walk into the store I either have someone run into me or pull the shopping cart right where I want to be.  Don’t get me started on the shopping carts in the middle of the aisle or parked on one side and someone is looking at an item on the other side and there is no room to go through.

On Tuesday I was at the store and walking in the middle of a wide open part of the store when a man with a shopping going from my left to my right wasn’t paying attention and ran right into me.  I felt bad because he had a child in the cart who was asleep but not after his dad ran into me.

But my power of invisibility continued as I was driving my car became you guessed it INVISIBLE!   I made a left turn onto a street and someone backing out of the driveway wasn’t paying attention and I had to slam on my breaks to break the spell of invisibility.

Maybe I am a Mutant or maybe I am just impatient but I don’t want to be seen as rude and push my way through a store because I am a pretty nice guy.   However one of these days if you here a loud voice saying MOVE YOUR ________ (fill in the blank) CART! It might be me.

Today we found out people are moving west.    Listen here

Stupid News has stories about MEAT, BODY ODOR and STARS.    Listen Here

Laff lines: video games vs reality

 

NEW YEARS EVE AND I STAYED AWAKE ……ALMOST

I AM NOT ANDERSON COOPER!

Bringing in the New Year was kind of different for me this year.    I ACTUALLY STAYED AWAKE TO BRING IN 2018!  Sort of.

Because I didn’t have to be on KOOL on New Year’s Day, my plan for New Year’s Eve was to go to bed when I was sleepy.   For some reason I was awake at my usual bed time so I stayed awake and decided to watch the Ball drop from New York City and turned the channel to CNN for their coverage with Anderson Cooper just basically to see how he would do without his former Co-host Kathy Griffin who had been fired from that job and many more for her tasteless photo about President Trump that she tweeted.  At the time I was telling everyone that all her so called humor was tasteless.  I am not a fan.

Back to Anderson Cooper, I have never seen a TV host look like he wanted to be anywhere but where he was.  He looked bored and uninterested and his Co- host Andy was trying to get him to do or say anything.  I felt sorry for Andy.  Cooper was there but not there at the same time

CNN also had several cutaway reports from around the country as people celebrated.  Two reports came from Colorado.   One report was live on a tour bus where people were smoking marijuana and the reporter was holding a joint!   All I could think was the Bus Driver is getting a contact high!   Another report had a reporter who was at a celebration called PUFF, PASS and PAINT.  Yes a marijuana themed party where the bartender was mixing drinks with THC.   HOW CLASSY I said with sarcasm.

Now I know recreational use of grass is legal in Colorado and I am not bashing you if you are one who uses it .  I just thought it was is poor taste for CNN to focus on that.  But then again they show people getting drunk too.   But I just thought to myself that maybe it’s this kind of reporting that is causing the ratings at CNN to drop all the time.  Is it fake news or just tasteless news?

My wife and I also spent a lot of time over the weekend watching a show called “LIVE PD” on the A& E channel.   Camera crews go with police in several locations around the country (including Utah) and the host and 2 cops take you live to the scene of whatever is going on at that time.  This show is scary and funny and eye-opening at the same time.

If you watch this you will see for yourself why I hold Policemen and women in such high regard.  You see how a routine traffic stop can lead to a drug bust like what happened near Park City in October where 20 pounds of marijuana was found after a man was pulled over for a minor traffic violation.   You will also see people lie to the officers over and over again about drugs alcohol and weapons.    Then you will also see that these men and women have hearts and truly try to help people even when they have been lied to and called names (add you own BLEEP here.

So if you are a police officer or know one, my respect for you grows.  I know and you know you are not perfect but you are expected to make perfect decisions in keeping us safe.  Sometimes safe from ourselves.  Because some people are just dumb!

This morning I also found out how frustrating technology can be.  I was preparing the Stupid news segment for 7:15 am and 2 minutes before it was to go on the radio DOH!  The computer decided it wasn’t ready.  So the 7:15 Stupid news didn’t air until 7:25.  Stupid computers!

In case you missed it here is Stupid news all about Gambling, Friendship and a man going where no man wants to go.   Listen here

An email scammer was caught.  Listen here

Laff lines:  Brian Regan on Elevators

A LOOK BACK AT 2017

2017 A LOOK BACK

  This past year was a tough one for music fans with the passing of Rock and Roll Legends like Fats Domino and Chuck Berry along with other Rock stars like Tom Petty J.Geils and Greg Almond.  Listen to our tribute to those stars.

This morning we learned of the death of Rose Marie who stared on the Dick Van Dyke show.  Other stars that I enjoyed so much throughout the years include Dick Enberg, David Cassidy, Monty Hall of Hollywood Squares Erin Moran of Happy Days, Stephen Furst of Animal House (he was Flounder)

Don Rickles Mr. Warmth   Here he is on the tonight show with Johnny Carson

Jerry Lewis, Here he is with the classic skit with a typewriter

Finally there was Adam West, MY BATMAN!  The hours I watched the old Batman 66 show and read the comic books, he was the Batman of my youth.

Batman was the Comic Book Hero that made me want to collect comic books.   Now today at the age of 60 I still read and enjoy comics and Surprise Surprise Surprise (thanks the late Jim Nabors) my favorite Comics to read are Batman comics.   I might be 60 but I think like that little boy in front of the T.V.  watching BATMAN.

I also think of my late Mother who took me to see Adam West in the Batman Movie at a Drive in on what is now Elvis Presley Blvd in Memphis.  Why did Mom take me?  Probably because I bugged her to death about going.  But I like to think she knew how much I loved Batman and because of that and because she loved me I have a wonderful memory of my Mother.

Thanks Adam West

 

Stupid News included a T-Shirt- a suitcase and a bagel.  Listen here

Laff Lines is Larry the Cable guy on New Year’s resolutions

I RESOLVE NOT TO RESOLVE

 

This Year I resolve not to make any New Year’s resolutions

 

As we get ready for 2018 we take stock of our lives and a lot us make those New Year’s resolutions.  Creditdonkey.com says that 45% of us make resolutions but 8% stick with them.  Man 8 % seems pretty high to me based on what I do.

What are those well according to Statistic brain dot come we want to lose weight and ear healthier.  I think I have made that resolution 60 years in a row.   It is hard to do but I do at least try for about 7 hours.  Those are the hours between midnight and 7am, then it is time for bacon and eggs some waffles and a big glass of Chocolate milk!

That is a little extreme I know, but it seems like that resolution is broken soon after the New Year begins.  Watching the rose bowl parade and the bowl games on New Year’s Day means snacks and bye bye diet.

Other resolutions we make according to the website are life self-improvements.  Making better financial decisions.  And spending more time with family and friends.

I have noticed something recently that is kind of funny to me.  My wife and I have been going to the Gym to work out 4 to 5 times a week since February of 2017.   The Monday morning resolution is alive and well.   Every Monday at the gym we go to there are a bunch of cars in the parking lot when we arrive.  Then the rest of the days of the week you see less and less people working out.   Check for yourself and you will see I am right!  I will be there Monday then Tuesday is a big QUESTION MARK.

So is it worth it?  I would say yes!  It is always good to look at ways to improve your life.  Just be realistic in those resolution and maybe more specific in that goal.   Then if you mess up don’t give up start again.

I’ll see you at the gym Mondays

 

Stupid news, Disneyland, Larry Fine and Temper Temper.  Listen here

Garlic makes men sexy!  Listen here

Laff Lines is about Cell phones

Happy New Year

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR KIND OF!

This is a strange time of the year for me.   The traditions of Christmas is over and New Year’s Eve is coming up on Sunday.  But New Year’s Eve has never been a holiday that I have looked forward to.

Over the years I found myself working on New Year’s Eve bring in the New Year on the radio or by being a DJ at a New Year’s Eve Party.

As the countdown began for the New Year I was usually alone (AWW, you feel bad for me huh).  If I was in a relationship it usually ended before the holiday season.

One year in Rexburg Idaho I wasn’t working and had no plans for New Year’s Eve when some young ladies invited me to their house for a dinner, so I figure it was going to be a small dinner party with other guest.  WRONG BABY NEW YEAR BREATH!  I go to the apartment and I am the only guest which was fine with me at the time.  We had a nice dinner had a few laughs then they asked if I could fix a problem they were having with the Cable TV service.  Which I gladly did and after I fixed the problem they said it was time to leave they were going to a New Year’s Eve party.   WHAT?  That really happened, Yep I did not have a great New Year’s Eve 

Not every year was that bad, I was a DJ at a party one year did the countdown to midnight  and 5 women came up on the stage give me a New Year’s kiss,   yep they were drunk and their male friends weren’t too happy but I was !to celebrate.

The year before I moved to Logan I was working in Salt Lake when I received a request  that made me very happy , it was my soon to be wife Teresa who was in Logan while I worked in Salt Lake,  we had gotten engaged on Thanksgiving.
So on Sunday night I will get ready for a New Year’s Eve Celebration with a tradition that started after I got married.   I will be snoring in bed because the countdown to the New Year isn’t till midnight!   So it is either be in my nice warm bed asleep on in a living room chair asleep while the TV is on.

Either way HAPPY NEW YEAR!

You know about the New Year’s ball drop at Times square but what about the Possum drop:  Listen here

Stupid New has an update and Christmas Presents that get an elderly couple arrested

Laff Lines is all about credit cards