WHEN IS SPRING

“IF YOU DON’T LIKE THE WEATHER WAIT”

We say a little bit of that on Monday.   I was waiting for my wife to pick me up, and standing in the parking lot enjoying a cool day with a lot of sunshine so I did what you want to do in winter… I stood with my eyes closed facing the sunshine and soaked it in and it’s felt great.   Then one hour later it was cloudy cold and snowing.   MAKE UP YOUR MIND!

I really enjoy winter until about this time of the year I am ready for it to be spring.  I want some sunshine and warmer weather.

A new survey asked people to name the worst things about the winter, and here are the top 10 . . .

  1. Getting covered in snow and freezing rain on the way to work.
  2. Having an umbrella break during a heavy rainstorm.
  3. Dark mornings.
  4. Never seeing daylight.
  5. Stepping into puddles.
  6. Icy sidewalks.
  7. Colds and the flu.
  8. Black ice.
  9. Runny noses.
  10. The wind chill.

But I have good news we are turning the corner. a couple of sure sings spring really isn’t too far away ,  On TV we are starting to see commercials for the Master Golf tournament  April 9th and the Daytona 500 February 16th   and in Major Lesage Baseball pitchers and catchers start reporting for Spring training Feb 12th!

But there is frustration during that time too.  Spring in Cache  valley and Northern Utah it snows in Feb March April and May.   So we have plenty of time to complain about the wither

 

stupid news

 

Laff lines

MONEY AND THE LACK THERE OF

I have always struggled with saving money, my mom used to say ‘Dave, is that money burning a hole in your pocket” YES MOM, IT IS!   

Like most of us money was tight when I was growing up we simply did not have much.  My mother had 5 kids to support after my father died and frankly looking back I don’t know how she did it.   We didn’t want, but we didn’t have a lot either.  The only vacations we went on were weekend trips to Paris!      Not that Paris.   Not Paris Idaho or Paris Texas either.  It was Paris Tennessee.  A short drive from Memphis.

I wouldn’t say I am frugal or stupid with money, but I am just a little dumb with money.   I have tried to balance my checkbooks but it has never happened.  At least I tried and learned my wife is a lot better at that than I am

 One of my problems with money is impulse buys and I came across this today about impulse buying here is a list of the top 10 impulse buys.

 

  1. Candy. 2.  Clothes.     3.  Takeout for dinner.    4.  Coffee.
  2. Lunch or dinner.     6.  Books. (Comics for me)    7.  Beauty products. (I don’t buy those because I AM THE REFLECTION OF PERFECTION  )
  3. Shoes. 9.  Magazines or newspapers. (Do people really buy newspapers anymore)    10.  Underwear or socks.

When I wasn’t married and living in an apartment I did go out and buy new underwear and socks because I didn’t want to do laundry.  (I had lots of pants and shirts and needed to have more ……….delicates)

Now that I am married and more mature (oh yeah I am more mature do do head) I have been saving a little but you know things happen, Car repairs, Home repairs, unexpected illness and oh yeah all that impulse spending make it hard.  There is an online source that might help called feedthepig.org

 

Now it up to me to change my ways and stop the impulse buys!   And when I get home I am going to do laundry  ,  I wonder if Walmart has a sale on underwear today

Stupid news

Laff lines.

MY BUCKET LIST HAS TWO BIG HOLES

There are things that happen in life that stay with you.  One of those things for me is seeing my first football game.

It was a Sunday afternoon and I was out playing with the other neighborhood hoodlums, when it happened.  One of the dads invited us to come inside and watch a football game on TV.

That game was Super bowl two with the Oakland Raiders vs the Green Bay Packers.    I was hooked on football.  Saturdays it was college and Sunday’s the NFL.  Football was the source of many arguments on what to watch on TV.  So much so that my mother bought a used Black and White and put it into my room!  Did that stop the arguments?  Somewhat, but the living room had color TV.  So the arguments continued.

My love of football had me wanting to go to see the SUPER BOWL!  It became a bucket list item.

My bucket has holes.

Hole number one.

I was living in South Central Louisiana the year of the Super Bowl Shuffle.  The Bears and the Patriots were playing just a few hours south of me and I thought about driving in New Orleans just to hang out and enjoy the atmosphere but I stayed home and watch it on TV as the bears destroyed the Patriots.

The next day I went to the radio station and the owner’s brother in law came in to say HI and then said “I almost called you Sunday morning.  I had a friend offer me 2 Super Bowl tickets but I didn’t think you would go”

I was nice and didn’t torture him or try to flush his head down the toilet, but I wanted too!

Hole number two

The cost of going to the Super Bowl continues to rise so much that you need a load to afford it.  I am not kidding.   Stubhub is offering loans so you can go to the big game. It won’t be cheap, with interest rates as high as 30-percent.  Factor that in with ticket prices. They range from 44-hundred to just over 16-thousand bucks a ticket. Stubhub is offering monthly installments spread over a year.

So February 2nd I will be sitting in my recliner with snacks at the ready with the 4k TV and sound bar ready to go.\

I might not be able to mark the Super Bowl off my bucket list but at least I can afford to buy a bucket!

Another bucket list item might be just one year away.  The internet is buzzing that coming up in April the WWE will announce the Wrestle Mania in 2021 will be in Las Vegas.   I need to start saving now.

 

An explosion in Space…

Stupid news

Laff lines

 

 

PARTY TIME ….. AGAIN?

Image result for another party

Do you feel uncomfortable at parties and get-togethers?  I DO!!!!

I guess I am not alone on that one because a recent survey say’s the main reason people struggle in a social situation is running into someone they would rather avoid.

 Here are the top 10 things that cause us anxiety at social events . . .

  1. Somebody you don’t like shows up. (You know who you are)
  2. You want to leave but feel pressured to stay.(I hate that)
  3. You feel like you don’t fit in. (Yep)
  4. The only person you know is the host. (But I don’t like them either)
  5. Its just not any fun. (Someone turn on Live PD)
  6.  it’s a potluck, and no one is eating the food you brought. (That’s what you get for bringing salad!

  1. No one is drinking the beverage you brought. (Not everyone likes diet Mt Dew???????)
  2. Just WORRYING someone you don’t like might show up. (Please look at number 1)
  3. You can’t drink, because you have to drive home. (Mine should read “You have to take a bunch of drunks home so they don’t get behind the wheel!)
  4. All the food and drink options suck. (Once again)

If you can just suffer through the beginning of a party, you might be okay though.  The average person said they start to relax 14 minutes in.  But we know within 10 minutes if we’re going to leave early or not. Then it is time to make up an excuse to leave so you can get back home get in your P.J.’s sit in your recliner with Diet Dew and a few snacks and turn on LIVE P.D.

On today’s show I got into politics but not on the side of Republicans or Democrats.  It is Dave’s Matter of Perspective

Stupid news

Laff lines

 

THAT ISN’T THE WAY THE SONG GOES

While I was having therapy on my wrist and hand on Monday we started talking about music when the song “Bad Moon Rising” came on the radio.   Being the smart…… guy me am I sang along “There’s a bathroom on the right”.   That led to a discussion about misheard song lyrics.

A friend of mine that the Rupert Holmes “Escape” said “If you like bean enchiladas”

I used to bug my sister Sandra by singing “There’s a kind of flush (sfx) all over the world tonight”  She was a huge Herman Hermits fan and yes I did it on purpose!  That is what little brothers do!

So today more misheard song lyrics

“Money for nothin’ and chips for free”. Correct lyric: “Money for nothin’ and your chicks for free” from Dire Straits’ ‘Money for Nothing’.

“Every time you go away, you take a piece of meat with you”. Correct lyric: “Every time you go away take a piece of me with you” from Paul Young’s ‘Every Time You Go Away’.

“We built this city on sausage rolls”. Correct lyric: “We built this city on rock ‘n’ roll” from Starship’s ‘We Built This City’.

“Saving his life from this warm sausage tea”. Correct lyric: “Spare him his life from this monstrosity” from Queen’s ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’.

“See that girl, watch her scream, kicking the dancing queen”. Correct lyric: “See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen” from ABBA’s ‘Dancing Queen’.

“Excuse me while I kiss this guy”. Correct lyric: “Excuse me while I kiss the sky” from Jimi Hendrix’s ‘Purple Haze’.

“Dancing queen, feel the beat from the tangerine”. Correct lyric: “Dancing queen, feel the beat from the tambourine” from ABBA’s ‘Dancing Queen’.

. “Sweet dreams are made of cheese”. Correct lyric: “Sweet dreams are made of these” from The Eurythmics’ ‘Sweet Dreams (are made of this)’.

“It doesn’t make a difference if we’re naked or not”. Correct lyric: “It doesn’t make a difference if we make it or not” from Bon Jovi’s ‘Livin’ On A Prayer’.

Then I saw her face, now I’m gonna leave her” Correct lyric: “Then I saw her face, now I’m a believer” from The Monkees’ ‘I’m a Believer’.

“I want to hold your ham”. Correct lyric: “I want to hold your hand” from The Beatles’ ‘I want to hold your hand’.

Kicking your cat all over the place”. Correct lyric: “Kicking your can all over the place” from Queen’s ‘We Will Rock You’.

“Blue seal in the sky with diamonds”. Correct lyric: “Lucy in the sky with diamonds”  and from The Beatles’ ‘

“Let’s pee in the corner, let’s pee in the spotlight”. Correct lyric: “That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight” from R.E.M.’s ‘Losing my religion’.

“Bald-headed woman… bald-headed woman to me”. Correct lyric: “More than a woman… more than a woman to me” from the Bee Gees’ ‘More than a woman’.

“We’re caught in a trout”. Correct lyric: “We’re caught in a trap” from Elvis Presley’s ‘Suspicious Minds’

“You’re the wobbly one”. Correct lyric: “You’re the one that I want” from John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John’s ‘One that I want’.

Kick a chicken with it”. Correct lyric: “Gettin’ jiggy with it” from Will Smith’s ‘Gettin’ jiggy with it’.

“Hold me closer, Tony Danza”. Correct lyric: “Hold me closer, tiny dancer” from Elton John’s ‘Tiny Dancer’.

THIS MIGHT BE MY FAVORITE!

“I like big butts in a can of limes”. Correct lyric: “I like big butts and I cannot lie” from Sir Mix-A-Lot’s ‘Baby Got Back’.

Men crying at the movies

Stupid news

Laff lines

PETE AND REPEAT SITTING ON A FENCE

 

I am guilty of loving watching repeats of favorite TV shows…. Well sitcoms.  So here is a list of 10 favorite sitcoms that I will watch over and over again.

The Andy Griffith show

Seinfeld

Lavern and Shirley

Big Bang Theory

The Odd couple

I love Lucy

Leave it to Beaver

According to Jim

Frazier

Laugh in

 

Today on the morning show

STUPID NEWS

Laugh lines

 

NATIONAL DJ DAY-

TODAY IS NATIONAL D.J. DAY! A day to celebrate people like me the voice on the radio!

I love what I do and most of the time I don’t call it a job, I will say “I am going to play radio”.  That is the great thing about what I do I get to have fun every morning.  But sometime that fun isn’t as fun.

This morning I am getting ready to go on the air and at exactly I glance at my computer to see a warning that the program was shutting down.   CRASH!  Did I panic?  You bet your (insert your favorite word here).

Not to bore you but I was on the phone and trying to keep us on the air and streaming for the next hour.  So the start to my National DJ day was interesting to say the least.

So I thought today I would tell you a little about how I got into this thing called radio.

First I love listening to the radio and grew up listening to radio legends like Dewy Phillips, George Klien and Rick Dee’s.  Yep the Disco Duck Rick Dee’s.

In the 7th grade I won a radio contest for having the craziest laugh in Memphis.  I remember when my name was announced as the winner I jumped over the coffee table in celebration!

Forward to my senior year in high school, the school I went to was part of a program where students could take a radio class.  I signed up and started to learn how to be a DJ.  I will brag on myself, I was the first, first year student who had there on air shift.

One thing I had to do was to learn how to talk, I had a southern accent, and worked hard to lessen the accent but once a redneck always a redneck I can slip into a southern accent that would make Jeff Foxworthy sound like he was British royalty.

That was the start of my radio life.  A life that has taken me on a wild ride.  I have worked in Tennessee, Missouri, Idaho, Arkansas, Louisiana, and Salt Lake City and on February 28th on 2020 I will have been on the airwaves in Cache Valley 25 years.

I have had the chance to meet and interview several celebrities and participate in some amazing events.  But I still think what I like best is being able to talk to you on the phone at events or just meeting you around.  It is a real blessing in my life to do what I love to do.  I have had many ups and a few downs.I wouldn’t have it any other way….. Well maybe not waking up at 4:30 every morning but as they say “Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy wealthy and wise.”   They forgot one thing “Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man damn tired!

Stupid news

 

Laff Lines

I AM FAT, BUT NOT THAT WAY! OK I AM BUT …….

I have not flown in a plane in about 20 years and during that time laws have changed because of the attacks on America.

Now we have to be screened to get on a plane.  I just hope I get a TSA agent who is understanding and patient.

A metal scan would find screws in my foot and hand, a metal knee and now a steel plate and screws in my neck.

So if I fly I will arrive at the airports 5 hours early just to go through the TSA screening.

Today I read that TSA agents had found a record amount of guns during the search process.  A rise of 20 percent.

That is scary!  But TSA agents also find unusual and sometimes dangerous things.  Here are some strange ones.

A chastity belt!  Yep no mile high club here.

A knife mounted to a walker.

A grenade launcher with no grenades.  But in Texas they found grenades.  In Denver TSA agents found a novelty grenade stuffed with illegal drugs.

A cell phone that was actually a stun gun.  In another case someone found a way to make a tube of lipstick into a stun gun!

A box of Eels.

And I promise this was not me but it could have been.  Someone packed Batman throwing stars.

I was involved in a flying incident.  No it was not dangerous but boy was I embarrassed.

I was on a flight from Salt Lake City to Fresno California with a plane change in San Francisco.

I sat at the back of the plane when another man sat next to me.  He was very nice and large like me… TWO BIG MEN SITTING IN THOSE TINY AIRPLANE SEATS!

Before we left Salt Lake an attendant announced that because it was so hot that we were going to alter our flight plans with a quick stop in Boise for fuel?  Ok it didn’t make sense but it started a conversation with the nice large man sitting next to me.

During our small talk I looked down at my ticket and there it was written in red ink the word FAT!   Yes, my ticket said FAT!

I was livid.  How dare they call me fat?  I showed it to my new found friend and he looked at his ticket and there it was FAT in red ink. Two large men sitting together at the back of the plane   FAT!

I decided to not make scene on the plane but boy I was ready to explode on an airline employee as soon as we landed in Frisco.   I stormed to the desk at the gate waited for my turn, threw my ticket on the desk top and said with a few choice but words that I can’t use here “FAT, MY TICKET SAYS FAT, THIS AIRLINE CALLED ME FAT”  I am sure that a few more words of the  four letter variety were said.   Then I waited for my apology as the airline employee looked at my ticket ….. Sighed and said.

Fresno air terminal…… F.A.T.  Fresno air terminal.

 

Today we talked Booze

Stupid news: Love in the air

Laff lines

 

MUSIC AND BATMAN

 

Back in August I bought a guitar, not just a guitar but a BATMAN GUITAR!

I was so excited because I thought I would combine my two favorite things music and Batman.

Not to be… yet.

Sometime in the spring or early summer I started having wrist pain and some numbness in my left hand which led to a wrist surgery.  My Dr said the injury was a hard one to heal from and boy was he right.

Yesterday I had a therapy session that was painful to say the least and the pain continued into the night.  A night with little sleep!

About 2am as I was answering natures call, I walked by my Batman guitar and thought “HOLY C- CORD I JUST NEED TO START PICKING “The extra movement of my fingers will help the stiffness in my hand.  Before long I will be playing “Stairway to Heaven “

WHO IS IN WHO IS NOT IN THE ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF FAME

Stupid news

Laff lines explore National Fig Newton Day

 

HAPPY DAYS IS STILL MAKING US HAPPY

‘SUNDAY MONDAY HAPPY DAY’S”

On this date 1974 we all started saying “AYE” “SIT ON IT” ‘I FOUND MY THRILL ON BLUEBERRY HILL”

Because the sitcom “Happy days” debuted on this day.  Boy do I feel old!

When I read this this morning I started remembering the hours I have spent watching The Cunningham’s, The Fonz, Ralph Malph and Potsie.

I think the show found its real impact with the chemistry between the “Fonz” and Richie.

But I wanted you to remember the impact on POP CULTURE the show had.

Let’s talk spin offs

Lavern and Shirley

Mork and Mindy

The Fonz and the Happy Days cartoon

And who could forget Joanie Love Chachi!

There were comic books and at least two musical stage shows.

Besides all that think of the movies and TV shows that the stars of Happy Days were a part of.  Here is a partial list

Ron Howard:

The Music man Movie, The Andy Griffith show, American Graffiti and More American Graffiti

As a director another Partial list

Night shift (with Henry Winkler)

Splash

Cocoon

Gung Ho

Willow

Backdraft

Apollo 13

A beautiful Mind

The Da Vinci Code

A beautiful mind

Solo: a Star wars Story

Then Henry Winkler always THE FONZ but also a great actor and director.

The one and only –he was a Pro Wrestler (who would have thunk it)

Hero’s

The Water boy

Here comes the BOOM

The Lords of Flatbush

And more TV shows than space than I have

And even Potsie, Anson Williams has had great success as a director of

A Smokey Mt. Christmas

Memories of me

Cop and a Half

As a Producer

MacGyver

Sightings

Deadman’s Gun

The list of credits of actors and guest stars of this little TV show is as impressive as any you can think of.

And happy days even gave us this term

‘JUMP THE SHARK”

Oh how I long for those Happy Days

 Utah has a champ and foods we hate

Stupid news

Laff lines