ICE ICE BABY

We have all done it, its winter and it’s icy, we are walking on ice and KABLAMO!    After making sure nothing is broken and apologizing to people around use for our use of about 9 million four letter words, we get up carefully and try to act like nothing happened.

It is that time of year again when snow and ice make driving and walking outside an adventure.   Falls on ice can be very serious.  Talk to anyone who has worked in an Emergency room or Urgent Care they can tell you horror stories about falling on ice.  But admit it that sometimes seeing people fall is kind of funny.

I have had my share of Ice falls but I had a roommate at Ricks College that made it a way of life.  John was from a small town along the Arizona Mexico border and he hated ICE.  When walking to class on a cold snowy morning in Rexburg you could hear John saying “ice, ice, ice” and usually followed by ‘YEE HAW” SPLAT.  That man fell a lot.

One day John and I along with some friends were in downtown Rexburg it was a cold clear day the sidewalks were pretty clean but not for John”  “YEE HAW”  SPLAT.  John had found a strip of ice maybe 6 inches wide and 10 inches long and KA BLAMO.

There was a day while changing classes I saw John running after some girl he had a crush on and while trying to climb a mound of snow and ice “YEE HAW” It looked like a Charlie Brown on a Pitching mound.  I laughed so had I almost fell too.

One more John falling on ice story was during the spring thaw.   The parking lot at the dorm was very wet and some icy spots.   Some our us were going to drive to Idaho Falls for some fun and John was waiting on the other end of the parking lot for us to pick him up.  He was just standing, yes standing there when we could hear across the parking lot “YEE HAW” He took a major fall and it looked like he did a belly flop in a swimming pool as the water went flying.  Our trip was delayed while John went to get some dry clothes on.  One of the funniest things I have ever witnessed.  Luckily after all those falls the only thing injured was his pride and a few butt bruises.

So be careful as we go about and if you ever hear ‘YEE HAW’ it was probably John

Today’s stupid news included an autograph session, Christmas lights in Idaho and an ATM robbery.  Listen here

Morning Laff lines is all about flying in a small plane

MEMORIES OF BETTYE

 

I was having lunch with my wife on Tuesday when I received a call telling me that my oldest sister Bettye Scherer had passed away in California.  She had been ill for several months and had been in and out of hospitals for quite a while.

I’m telling you this because I loved my sister very much, despite not being able to spend a lot of time together over the years.

Our father passed away in 1961 when I was just 4 years old and Bettye was married shortly after that.  To be honest I have very few memories on my sister before 1968.  We would talk on the phone for a few minutes but she was married to Gary who was in the Navy and had moved away from Memphis when I was very young.

So today in honor of my sister I thought I would share some great memories of my sister.

One of the 1st times I got to spend time with my sister was when I was 16 and they came to visit us in Memphis.   I got to go back to San Jose with them in there van.  It was my 1st time in California and Bettye asked me what I thought, and in my sarcastic 16 year old brain I said “It’s OK if you like brown”  I grew up in Tennessee and we had grass and tree’s everything was green but not in  San Jose.   We always had a good laugh with that.

On that same trip my sister got very protective of me.  I had gone to church with her family and there were 3 girls that started to flirt with me and yeah my hormones were HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY.   The girls and I were in the foyer and they invited me to come with them to several activities with them. YES!!!!!  But right then Bettye came around the corner and heard what was going on and said “You know my brother is only 16 years old” Come to find out the girls were in college and thought I was a lot older than I was.  Let’s just say the flirting stopped faster than a car hitting a brick wall WHAM!   Thanks Sis!

The last time I got to spend several weeks with my sister were under strange circumstances.   Bettye had come back to Memphis for our sister’s wedding and while there had fallen and broken her ankle severely.  An injury that affected her walking ability the rest of her life and eventually led to her doctor telling her he would either have to amputate or fuse her ankle.  She opted to have it fused,

The summer after her accident I had come back home after my 1st year in college.  She was on crutches after her surgery and could not travel so all her Children were staying with her and our Mom in a small house in Memphis.  But we had a great time getting to know each other again.   I had a job at a convenience store to make some extra money for school but there were times when Bettye and I got to talk and enjoy each other.  One of those times was while watch TV a commercial came on for a new Candy Bar called” Forever Yours” and it looked awesome.  Bettye just raved over how good it looked, so the next day after work I brought her one and I thought she was going to cry!  A special memory for me.  The candy bar went out of production but came back with a different name “Milky Way Dark” and now when I see one I always get that memory of my sister.

               

I will be gone for a few days to attend to some family items so I will take this time to wish you a Merry Christmas and remind you to remember the real reason we celebrate!

So I am sure you will excuse my absence for a few days but I will miss being with you each morning during this Christmas time.

While I am away I will find a “Milky Way Dark” and as I am eating it a tear will come to my eye ….. I love you Bettye!

Here is a great story about George Clooney: Listen here

Stupid news:  has wild turkeys beards and a Fatberg update

Laff lines Rachel Feinsteen on her dad and Facebook

 

INVERSION DIVERSION

 

Is there anything more beautiful than seeing the landscape all in white after a snow storm?   One of my favorite things to see in the winter is the snow on the trees and during Christmas to see the evergreen bushes that have lights under the snow.  I also like to walk outside right after a snow late at night or early in the morning and listen to the quite, it is a unique quite that I can’t describe but I would bet you know exactly what I am talking about.

Yes I love a Cache Valley winter usually!  But every year we get a time of INVERSION!  The air is trapped because of the cold and the only thing that can clean the air is a storm system to move through and stir up the air.   I also dread the inversion because it makes it so hard to breath.  You know that people with health issues are having a hard time breathing and on the news they are telling us not to idle our cars, yet this morning I stop at a store near the station at 5am and there are 2 cars in the lot with the cars running and no one in them.  Come on people you are adding to the Inversion and on top of that you are asking to have your car stolen.    THINK!

There are so many wonderful things about winter and where we all live work and play.  BUT THE INVERSION AIN’T ONE OF THEM!!!!!!!

Here is our salute to the INVERSION:  listen here

Stupid news includes a shoplifter, some stupid tourist, and some news from Utah State and it includes a stupid news update.  Listen here

Laff lines is all about Ice Cream:  Listen here

CHRISTMAS CAN STRESS YOU OUT!

 

Merry Christmas   a greeting we hear this time of the year.  Yes I love Christmas time, all the good will a, the parties the joy of giving and as Sally Brown said in Peanuts the Joy of Getting. As the song say’s Christmas can be a pain.   The parody of the 12 days of Christmas by Bob Rivers makes me laugh every time I hear it.  Think about it sometimes the stresses of life are increased by the Holiday’s from dealing with Family and the lights (ONE GOES OUT THEY ALL GO OUT) there are things we can dread during the Christmas season

According to a new survey, 19% of people say they can’t WAIT for the holiday season to be over.

And here are the things they’re dreading . . .

  1. Nonstop Christmas music.
  2. Wrapping presents.
  3. Carolers.
  4. Decorating.

So enjoy Christmas and all the Joy it brings and don’t stress too much or you might go nuts!   Listen here

Today on Stupid news the case of missing Binkies is solved, 3 words I thought I would never say on the radio, and a snowball fight is cancelled find out why all in Stupid News  listen here

 

I had some fun at the weather forcast, Jimmy Fallon’s thank you notes all right here.

 

Laff lines Don McMillian on Fonts.  Listen here

GO SPORTS!

Today at the Cache Valley Media Group we were asked to wear our favorite sport team jerseys and T- shirts.  Here are some pictures of people I work with every day.   It is a great place to work (or play radio as I like to call it).

As you can tell by my pictures I am a fan of the St. Louis Cardinals.

Now I only could wear a few things today.  I have one other Jersey (White with a huge stain on it, I am a sloppy eater) 3 more T- shirts and One more Jacket.   I love my redbirds and always have.   But I do follow other teams.   In basketball of course it is the Jazz, I have a Jazz tie that goes to church with me.  Living in Logan I am an Aggie fan!  I even went to 2 Aggie Football road games years before I came to Logan.  One in Memphis and one in Columbia Mo.   In Hockey it’s the Blackhawks and Bruins.

However in the NFL I don’t have a favorite team. WHY? Well growing up in Memphis I loved the Football Cardinals and even went to the final home game at Bush Stadium in St. Louis.  Now they are the Arizona Cardinals and I watch them and cheer for them some but I can say that about the entire NFL. …..Well I should qualify that statement.  I never cheer for the Dallas Cowboys.    It is like asking me to cheer for the Cubs in Baseball.  It won’t happen, never have, never will.

Now that I have ticked off Cowboy and Cub fans let me say this.  Cheer for your team, love your team, I understand BUT IS JUST CAN’T NEVER HAVE NEVER WILL!

On the subject of sports let me say this I am also a huge fan of Sports entertainment!  Pro Wrestling,  I have watched since I was a kid, I grew up watching Jerry the King Lawler, the Fabulous Ones, The Road Warriors, Hulk Hogan, Macho Man and so many others.  I love the story telling the good versus evil aspect.  Kind of like a soap opera and Super Hero show rolled up into one.  I even do a podcast outside of the radio station called Turnbuckle Trash.  It is safe for work and a lot of fun if you would like to listen to it our website is Turnbuckletrash.net

On today’s Stupid news; Salt Lake is Hipster, A bank robbery, man gets a microwave stuck on his head and a mom gets revenge.  Listen here

Laff lines; Kathleen Madigan on shopping Listen here

 

 

 

I AM NOT SMART ENOUGH FOR A SMART PHONE

I am a 60 year old man that knows little about technology.   I know just enough to surf the web, use the computer at work and I have a Smart Phone that makes me feel dumb.

I love how the latest tech helps simplify our lives.  SIMPLIFY ARE YOU KIDDING.   Think about it, the 1st few times you try to use new tech it is one of the most frustrating things in life.   Don’t get me started on when the tech doesn’t work the way it is should.

So here it is Christmas time and you might be giving or get tech.  One of the hottest gifts this year will be the Tech assistants where you say things like “Alexa help me understand how to use this &^%$!

A new survey we talked about this morning found 60% of us plan to give someone a gadget for Christmas this year.  But be careful with older relatives . . . because you also have to be their TECH SUPPORT!  I NEED HELP!

90% of millennials in the survey said they’ve had to help a family member with a tech gift.  Either setting it up for them, or teaching them how to use it.  Sometimes both.

50% said they’ve spent more than an hour helping an older relative with a tech gift.  The gifts that require the most time are new phones, computers, and tablets.

Sometimes all that time and money are just a waste though.  32% of people in the survey said they have at least one family member who doesn’t use a gadget they got, because they still don’t know how.

Honestly, it is fun to learn how to use this tech, frustrating sure and some people just don’t want to learn how to do it.  I understand those thoughts but dang those games on my Smart phone are fun!!

Merry Tech Christmas

Today on Stupid news, A Helicopter Cop, a kick in the —– and a story from Broadway that you just can’t make up.  Listen here

Laff lines Kevin Nelon on Stars as gifts listen here

 

 

CHRISTMAS MUSIC

It is that time of year when there is Christmas music filling the air everywhere.   In a previous blog I told the story of the little girl who before Thanksgiving was in the Christmas spirt but she was confused on the words for Jingle Bells.  She sang Jingle Bells Jingle Bells Jingle Bells Jingle Bells Jingle Bells over and over again, it was so cute but I bet Mom was ready to pull her hair own hair out.

I must admit I love Christmas music, well like it is probably more truthful.   I do get a little tired of hearing the same songs over and over again but by different recording stars.   Now before you start calling me a Scrooge here is what I mean.  According to the music licensing company Music Reports, there ARE 137,315 recorded versions of “Silent Night”!   Of course, “Silent Night” isn’t the only holiday song that’s been recorded to death.

Here are the Top 10 most-recorded holiday songs, according to Music Reports:

 

  1. “Silent Night”, recorded 137,315 times
  2. “White Christmas”, 128,276 versions
  3. “Jingle Bells”, 89,681 versions
  4. “The Christmas Song”, 80,064 versions
  5. “Winter Wonderland”, 70,471 versions
  6. “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town”, 68,669 versions
  7. “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”, 65,377 versions
  8. “Joy to the World”, 59,767 versions
  9. “I’ll Be Home for Christmas”, 56,552 versions
  10. “Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!”, 54,446 versions

I do have some personal favorites

White Christmas – The Drifters Version

Peace on Earth- Little Drummer Boy—David Bowie and Bing Crosby

Merry Christmas Darling- the Carpenters, now it I didn’t include that on my list I could never show my face at home again.  But I do love that song

Snoopy’s Christmas- Why? Hey it’s Snoopy!

The Little Drummer boy next door—Ray Stevens

Celebrate me home- Kenny Loggins, a song I listen to year long.

Have a KOOL Yule

When is the best time to take down the Christmas Decorations; Listen here

Stupid news has a Mall Santa, running from the cops, and a Lucky couple Listen here

Laff Lines: Rodney Dangerfield having car trouble

 

 

 

 

I LOVE TV.

Television, from the days of Black and white and rabbit ears, to color cable and satellite to streaming the TV has been there to entertain and sometime bore us.  Great TV vs Bad TV.

There has always been good and bad on TV.  I grew up watching so many classic shows.  So many great shows and some not so great.

Here are some of my favorite kid’s shows while growing up.  Captain Kangaroo as just a little guy, this was before the days of Sesame Street Ol Roo as I called him was always a favorite.

Of course the Saturday morning cartoons were always great.  Super hero shows were the best The Adventures of Superman (not a cartoon, but played on Saturday mornings)  anything that had Batman like the Super friends even funny hero’s like Captain Cave Man and Hong Kong Fuey were on my TV.

Shows like the Ed Sullivan show, Carole Burnett, The Smothers Brothers, Laugh In and Hee Haw were also staples at the Denton household.

Dramas were not shows that I watched a lot but Manix, Mission Impossible, The Man from U.N.C.L.E. and Quincy kept my attention.

But for me it was Sit Coms and game shows that I wanted to watch.   My Three Sons, Leave it to Beaver, The Andy Griffith Show (which I watched on Thanksgiving Day) were early favorites.  Then it was Happy days, Mork and Mindy, The Odd Couple and one of my all-time favorites Lavern and Shirley.   I loved that show and when there version of a band came on I turned it up the name of the group was Lenny and the Squigtones.

Last year at Christmas some friends even gave me a Lenny and the Squigtones T-shirt and one of my prized possessions is the only album they did.   It is framed and hanging on a wall in my house today.

 I still enjoy watching TV but it’s mostly Shows like Gotham, Green Arrow and the Flash.  I also love shows about History and must admit Cop shows, real life cop shows.

During my lifetime there have been shows that are bad like My Mother the car, Viva Laughlin and The Inhumans.

There have even been shows that a people just love but I just don’t get.  The best example I can think of in the past few years is the sitcom Two and a Half Men, I tried to watch it several times but I just did not like that show.   Now that I have offended those that love the show let me quote a friend of mine who said “If we all had the same taste, this would be a boring world”

What started this is an article from Entertainment weekly and there list of the 5 best and worst shows of 2017.

The 5 best

  1. “Glow”, Netflix
  2. “Twin Peaks: The Return”, Showtime
  3. “Big Little Lies”, HBO
  4. “The Good Place”, NBC
  5. “Rick and Morty”, Adult Swim

And here are their ‘Five Worst’ . . .

  1. “APB”, Fox . . . It’s already been canceled after just one season.
  2. “Taboo”, BBC One / FX . . . It was renewed for a second season.
  3. “Snatch”, Crackle . . . It was renewed for a second season.
  4. “Megyn Kelly Today” . . . As far as we know, NBC is committed to keeping it.
  5. “Marvel’s Inhumans” . . . Its future is unclear, but the shows’ ratings and reviews have both been bad.

 

So when you sit in front of the TV you should be able to find something to watch……maybe as Bruce Springsteen say “57 channels and nothing on “

On the morning show we talked about the HAPPIEST CHRISTMAS SONG.  Listen here

 

Stupid news came from England, along the border and L.A.  Listen Here

 

Laff Lines:   A birthday party for a one year old

 

 

COOKIES!

    It’s National Cookie Day.    As Cookie Monster says ‘ME LOVE COOKIES”!

   Have you ever had a bad cookie?  “Why yes, YES I HAVE”!  Several years ago in Arkansas some friends were taking plates of cookies to give to friends for Christmas.   I know a lot of people who do that and I always appreciate it.   These cookies tasted like ……  well let’s be kind they tasted like they forgot to use sugar.  I mean these cookies were bad, not even dunking them in milk helped!  And if you can’t dunk and cookie in milk …. WHAT IS THE POINT?

   My mother used to make the most beautiful Ginger Bread houses, and I helped.  How, when the Ginger Bread was overcooked …DAVE TO THE RESCUE.  She would give me the ginger bread fresh out of the oven and I went to dunking.   Not saying I ever did this, wink ,wink nudge , nudge but the oven temp might have been messed with a few times.  

   But my favorite cookie has to be the Chocolate No Bake cookies!   Some people call them Haystacks, some Gorilla Poop, I just call them MINE!

    My mother worked as a nurse in the evening so when I was a teen I spent most evenings at home by myself and I would get this craving.   So to the phone I went and called Mom at work to ask for the recipe,  I did it enough that her co-workers gave her a bad time about her son the cookie maker and that led me to make a couple of dozen for her co-workers.  Now don’t get me wrong I made some for myself too.

    Here is how to make these No Bakes

2 cups white sugar  —- ¼ cup of unsweetened cocoa powder—- ½ cup of milk—– ½ cup of margarine — 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract- a pinch of salt —-1/2 cup peanut butter (optional) and 3 cups of quick cooking oats

In a saucepan over medium heat combine the sugar, cocoa, milk, and margarine and bring it to a boil stirring occasionally.  Boil for 1 minute, then remove it from the heat and stir in the vanilla, salt, peanut butter and oats. 

Drop spoonful’s onto wax paper, let them cool (if you have the will power) for about an hour.

Now a hint, if they don’t set up right a spoon will get them off the wax paper into your mouth!  And sometimes a spoon right into the sauce pan after it has cooled a little is a treat.  Not that I ever did that wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

 We had some fun with national cookie day. Listen here

 

Here is today’s stupid news—Forged in fire- we play possum, and go to a Waffle House listen here 

 

Laff lines is Jerry Seinfeld about what else COOKIES

 

LOOK TO THE COOKIE

 

 

HOW I GOT INTO RADIO

  

   The 1st song to play on MTV was “Video killed the Radio Star”.  I DON’T THINK SO!!!  HAHAHAHAHAHA!

  People used to watch MTV for great video’s me too.    Today MTV means more tasteless viewing instead of music TV. 

   So here it is November 30, 2017 and here I am sitting behind a control panel at KOOL 1039 and playing music just like I did in 1975.   Well kind of the same way.  I will explain more

    I have often been asked how I got into radio.  The answer is in High School at WQOX in Memphis TN.   WQOX was a high school station and sounded like it but it gave me the radio bug.  Not without its own mishaps like the time I was playing the song “Sundown” by Gordon Lightfoot, now back in the olden days we played real 45’s on a couple of turntables and I was nervous because it was the 1st time I was by myself.  So after I introduced Gordon in my best southern accent  I forgot which turntable the song was playing and promptly turned it off and then in a panic turned it back on again, imagine how that sounded.   But I wasn’t finished yet, I took a deep breath and then took the needle of the record then in a panic put it back on.  I am amazed that the let me continue.

   Through the years of live radio mistakes happen.  In the middle of talking a Burp here and there gets out, or you say something that comes out wrong and is ether very dirty or no one knows what you mean.  Once while doing a live sports report I mixed up two words that came out so bad that I might get fired.  Let’s just say one of the words was on George Carlin’s list of 7 words you can’t say on T.V.  I have been to live remotes and ripped my pants, forgot where I was and sneezed live on the air.  

    My wife puts up with a lot from me because her friends will come up to her and tell her what I had said on the air that might have been about her.  Lucky for me she has a great sense of humor. 

        But there are times that all those embarrassing moments are worth it.  I have had listeners tell me that I had made them laugh or smile at a difficult time in their lives.   I have shed a few tears at those times and it is very humbling to know that what I do can affect lives.   I am always amazed when I get to meet you who listen when you say you like what we do on KOOL 1039.  

     What prompted this was about 7am this morning I was getting ready for stupid news and a thought went through my head that I get paid to talk to myself! Wow, I get paid to talk to myself……. freaked me out for a little bit.  I sit in the studio by myself from 5am until 10am, oh yes I see the others here at the Cache Valley media group but in the mornings  we are all busy doing what we get paid for TALKING TO OURSELFS! 

     I do remember one piece of advice I got when I first started in radio, Talk to one person at a time, and to do that I think about what you might be doing at that time.  At home getting ready for work, having breakfast, driving to work, or just singing along with the music.  So then I remember that I am not talking to myself, I AM TALKING TO YOU!

 Today on Stupid news, a mix-up at American Airlines, a stolen car and a TV stunt goes wrong.

 

 

With all the news about Matt Lauer and the today show here is a montage of the late night talk shows Conan O’Brien, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon and Stephen Corbert:  Listen here

 

Laff lines is John Pinnette on Skiing:   Listen here: