WHO AM I ? I AM ME

I had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine last week that has been on my mind a lot the past few days.  My friend made the statement that talking to me was just like listening to my show on KOOL 103.9.   I guess he is right!  Being on the radio is who I am.   Let me explain:

I grew up listening to the radio I loved the music and the DJ’s and the way they talked and had fun.  I can’t remember how I got this one radio but it was a portable with a huge antenna> I would take it outside and turn the tuning knob very slowly to see what stations I could get.   This was a lot of fun at night as some stations would cut power and some even go off the air so if the conditions were just right I could pick up stations like KOMA in Oklahoma City,  WLS in Chicago, I remember listening to radio from all over the south.

Then I moved to Rexburg and my friends and I (all radio geeks) would hop in a car and see what LA.  Station we could get.  One friend even won a radio contest from a LA radio station I remember the DJ freaking out that someone was listening in Idaho.

But how has that helped me become who I am?  I was one of the lucky men who knew exactly what I wanted to do for the rest of my life when I was in high school.  I knew that the radio business isn’t one of the highest paying jobs in the world.  But I have loved it my whole life.

My friends know that what you hear on the radio is who I am.  I would not have it any other way.  Early in my radio days I learned to be me when I heard a competing radio station in Missouri doing something that I call the “Professional radio laugh” that forced giggle when someone laughs at something and you know they don’t think is funny.

I have laughed at many things on my morning show and I can tell you that when I laugh I find it funny and if I laugh because is it so bad it is funny I will let you know.

Because of radio I have had the opportunity to share my life with you in good times and bad.   I have had listeners call me to share happy news and I have cried with you when bad news happens.

I am always amazed when I meet people and they say good things about my show and about KOOL 1039,  However I must say this,  I know that not everyone likes what I do every day  and that is fine too.   I am not one that thinks that everything I do and say is the best.  I still try to improve on my radio work and my personal life every day, with all the ups and downs that are associated with life.

At an outdoor party my wife and I went to several years ago, I was on one.  A lady asked my wife “is he like this all the time”?   Teresa smiled and said “Yes, he is”

I wouldn’t want it any other way!

Stupid news:  Hating winter, a 911 call and a DUI

Laff lines:  Vegans

 

 

 

I AM IN DECLUTTER MODE…. MAYBE

I am facing a dilemma this week.  I want to declutter but I also want to keep my collections.  I collect more than just dust bunny’s you know.

A couple of weeks ago my wife and I had new flooring installed at our home.  To be prepared we boxed up everything in 2 bedrooms and one bathroom. It felt like we were moving and still find ourselves living out of boxes.  But now we are making progress in putting things back the way we want them.

Here is my dilemma, I want to declutter my collection of Super heroes and WWE action figures.  I mean how many figures of Batman do I really need?   The answer is ALL OF THEM!  I look at a figure and see a different bat suits or if the figure comes from a movie or a cartoon series.  I am batty for Batman.

Then there are the wrestling figures.  Multiple Undertaker, Stone Cold, Mick Foley and The Rock figures.  But I will declutter something.  There is that on figure Matt Hardy that I could “DELETE” If you are not a wrestling fan you will not understand how funny and clever the Matt Hardy delete line is

I have decluttered most of my Star Wars and Star Trek items so it can be done.  I just don’t wanna.

Today on the morning show some people go too far for their kids.   Being banned from the Viv and School Lunch

Stupid news Shoplifting beer, and don’t yell at your dog

Laff lines George Carlin

 

 

 

 

I AM CHILD LIKE.

 

You are only as old as you feel and today I feel like I’m physically about where my years say.  But in my heart and mind I am still a spry young guy, and I hope that never changes.

I might walk a little slower and man do I have my fair share of aches and pains.  I think sometimes I am childlike but not so much that I can’t think and act like an adult when I need to.

I read and collect comic books and action figures.  I watch professional wrestling and even have a podcast with friends called Turnbuckle Trash (there is a link on the station website).

I keep up on the news (it is the adult thing to do) But I hate the political climate we are in.   I might be childlike but politicians sometimes act like children who have their favorite toy taken away.

So why am I writing about this on my blog?  It is because of something I read this morning.   By the way it was a very adult thing to do, but I would have rather read a Batman comic.  Here are some of the highlights

You’ve heard people say 50 is the new 40 . . . or even “70 is the new 40” But how much younger do we REALLY feel?

 Well, the average American DOES feel younger than they really are.  But not by much.

 A new study published in Science daily looked at people all over the world to see what type of health issues the average 65-year-old is dealing with.  And the average American doesn’t fit the profile of a 65-year-old until they’re 68-and-a-half.  So there’s just a three-and-a-half-year divide. 

The U.S. ranked 53rd in the world when it comes to feeling younger than you really are.  Japan and Switzerland tied for first.

 The average person in each of those countries doesn’t feel 65 until they’re just over 76.  The rest of the top five are France, 76 . . . Singapore, 76 . . . and Kuwait, 75.

 On the flip side, the average person in Papua New Guinea fits the health profile of a 65-year-old at age FORTY-SIX.  The Marshall Islands are next at 51, then Afghanistan at 52 . . . Vanuatu, 53 . . . and the Solomon Islands, 53-and-a-half. 

Today on the morning show: Happy cities and Smart speakers might be getting a new voice

Stupid news A Beer fast and I think I forgot something

Laff lines: Flying

 

MARCH FOOLS! The weather can make fools out us all

 

April fools is April 1st well today is March 11th and I am here to tell you March fools us all month long.

Think about it during the month of March this is true “If you don’t like the weather …..Wait”

The month of march is a real mixed bag, This past Saturday after doing some chores my wife, my mother in law and I went out for lunch knowing that there could be a wait and there was a short one but we got to the restaurant just in time not 5 minutes after we arrived the line was out the door.

After getting seated I noted what a beautiful day it was…  MARCH FOOLS in just a few minutes it was snowing those huge Mach snowflakes.  MARCH FOOLS …. The snow lasted about 5 minutes then it was sunny and nice.

March weather can drive me crazy and not just here in Northern Utah.  Where I grew up in the south you kind of dreaded march because it was Tornado season.

The tornado’s that hit Alabama last week brought back some of those memories.  When you live in tornado alley you get used to it ….NO. At least you shouldn’t but you kind of do.

Thunder storm waring and alert are common in Tornado Alley so you take them with a grain of salt.  You say Dave that is crazy those storms can kill you.  You have a point but put this in Dave’s matter of Perspective.

Last week we had a major winter storm that caused some of the worst driving conditions of the winter through Sardine Canyon.  Here I was on the radio telling people to slow down and only drive through the canyon with 4 wheel drive or chains.  Did the amount of traffic or the speed really decrease… not by much.  Why?  We are used to it.

The people of Tornado Alley are used to it!

Here are two stories to make my point.

We all remember the tornado that hit downtown Salt Lake City.  Dangerous and potential a very dangerous situation, you bet.   That was in August in Salt lake and here we are in Logan with some really bad weather and the phone was ringing off the hook with people telling us that they had heard the Tornado was back on the ground and heading through Sardine Canyon.  The person was serious and scared to death, why? Tornados don’t happen here very often here in Northern Utah.  They can and do but my reaction is different than most because I am used to it.

Story number two comes from when I worked in Paris TN and a major winter storm system was coming our way and in was early March.  We at the radio station sounded the alarm that the National weather station was warning everyone to stock up on fuel and food.    The storm was a bad one with about 18 inches of snow.   The local newspaper the next day had a picture of empty shelfs with a headline of WTPR (the radio station I was at) sounds the alarm and people listened.

So don’t let March fool you anything can happen.

Actually as far as snow goes it was June 12th of 2002 and I had a Dr Appointment in Salt Lake that day.  I woke up looked out the window and what did I see?  It was any kind of popcorn on an apricot tree.  It was snowing and snowing heavy.   We drove from Logan to U of U hospital in snow and they had plows out at the hospital.

I guess the saying is true “

“IF YOU DON’T LIKE THE WEATHER ……WAIT”

On today’s show we celebrated Monday and National Nap day”

Stupid news: A selfie almost gets a woman killed.  Singing in the car leads to assault, a lottery story

Laff lines Twitter Wars

I WANT MY HOUR BACK

 

To paraphrase a popular jingle “I WANT MY HOUR BACK I WANT MY HOUR BACK “

A new survey asked over 1,000 Americans.  And slightly more people prefer when we spring forward and get more daylight.  For me I do enjoy the extra evening light.

I will add a however

HOWEVER, with the hours I work it sure is hard in June and July to go to bed when it is still light out!

35% said it’s better . . . 28% prefer it when we fall back, because they get to sleep in . . . and everyone else either wasn’t sure, or didn’t have a preference.

This probably belongs in the Ripley’s believe it or not books.  I have a harder time adjusting to gaining the extra sleep than losing the hour.

The survey also found 54% of Americans wish we’d just eliminate the time change altogether.  I kind of think it isn’t necessary anymore but what do I know.   PLENTY I found this on the internet.    ON YOU.GOV

When people were asked WHY we still do it, the five most common answers were . . .

To conserve energy . . . so farmers have more time to work . . . so people can make better use of their evening hours . . . because it’s too complicated to stop observing it . . . and for economic reasons.

Ok it just isn’t something we need to lose sleep over (Pun intended) but if you have ever lived or vacationed in an area where one state observes Daylight saving time and the other doesn’t, that the headache begins Sunday

Several states lawmakers are considering switching to Daylight Saving Time year-round.  Here are four ways that could make life better

  1. Lives might be saved.  The evening rush hour is more dangerous for a couple reasons . . . there are more people are on the road, there’s a greater chance for alcohol to be in people’s bloodstreams, and more kids are outside playing.

So having an extra hour of sunlight in the evening could reduce car accidents with pedestrians.  In fact, a study at Rutgers, researchers found that 343 lives could be saved every year if we switched to year-round Daylight Saving Time.

  1. Crime could decrease.  Criminals like darkness.  But a 2013 study found that more light in the evening could reduce crime by up to 20%.  It especially helps with juveniles, who are more likely to commit crimes after school in the early evening hours.
  2. Energy might be saved.  When the sun is out later, there’s less demand for energy to light and heat homes and businesses.  When the sun rises earlier during Standard Time, a lot of people aren’t even awake yet.
  3. Our sleep wouldn’t get messed up twice a year.  No matter whether you prefer Standard Time or Saving Time, changing the clocks twice a year is bad for our health.  It disrupts our sleep . . . heart attacks increase . . . and one study even found it negatively affected financial markets.

Daylight saving times begins Sunday at 2pm.  Let the Sunday Yawns begin.

Today on the morning show we looked at Pro Wrestling in the state of Utah this weekend

 

Stupid News:  A security guard is in trouble and a happening in Las Vegas this Sunday.

Laff Lines:  Daylight savings day

 

 

I DON’T USE THAT KIND OF *&^%$ LANGUAGE

 

At times in my life I have struggled with the use of FOUR LETTER WORDS.  Well to be truthful I still do…

The use of four letter words is becoming an epidemic that bothers me.  The is one word that is used a lot by youth that is a head scratcher to me.   Watching Live PD I have heard the bad guys call the cops this word.  It is obvious they don’t even know the meaning of the word.   I will not put the word to paper but the word describes a Female Dog.   These bad guys and bad women will call someone there this word.  The time it made me laugh out loud was when the bad guy called a Male policeman this word.  This cop was all man, stand about 6ft 4 and is a body builder.  Oh youth of America you are becoming a female dog!       Sorry.

Here are some alternate words used in TV and Movies

Now back to the struggles.  There have been times when my use of four letter words was something I am not proud of.

Some people have asked me about my family and how they influenced me.   Well here is an example that might explain why I am the way I am.

Mother did not allow four letter words at all and even chastised me for some slang words.  Then there were my sisters.  We came up with a word that we all used in place of four letter words.  DANG FARD!   We used it a lot in place of most four letter words.   Yep, an 8 letter substitute for a four letter word.

My English teacher in the 9th grade had us write papers about the use of words and how we used them.  We also had to read the Dang Fard things in front of the class.  When I said Dang Fard everyone else thought it was another word.  The teacher was upset thinking I was lying about the use of Dang Fard at my house.  My best friend Wayne was in the class and assured the teacher that my family said it all the time.

I even started hearing my Dang Fard classmates using the phrase and that made me so Dang Fard mad.  Those Dang Fards stole my Dang Fard phrase.

Dang Fard was replaced while I was in college. Think about it, can you see some of the leadership at Ricks College freaking when they heard me say DANG FARD! The replacement word was something I heard in an obscure sitcom.   I can’t even remember the name of the show but they had a character named Frog.  A good ole boy kinda like me and when something would happen he didn’t get bleeped out, no not ole Frog, he would say “DOG MANURE”  I thought it was so funny I stared using it.  It worked!  I still use it when my use of four letter words starts creeping back into my life.

A recent survey asked 2,000 parents for alternate words and phrases they use, so they don’t curse in front of their kids.

“What the frog.”    “Sugar,” instead of the S-word.   “Oh muck.”     “Shitake mushrooms.”  I like that

“Shut the front door.”   “Fire truck.”  “Bull spit.” “Oh ship.”

A few more that ranked a little lower were “fudge,” “nuts,” “shoot,” “for freaks sake,” and “what the heck.”  Or in Utah OH MY HECK

Honestly, I do try to watch my language but I must admit there are times when I let the expletives fly.

 

Today on the morning show: Stress and lives little pleasures.

 

Stupid news:  Going to a funeral ain’t what it used to be and Hipsters.

 

Laff lines: Lunch

 

OH MY HECK, I JUST LOOKED AT THE DANG FARD CLOCK AND IT IS TIME FOR ME TO GO.     

DOG MANURE!

 

 

REMODELING IS JUST LIKE MOVING

Remodeling or moving, I don’t know which I like least.

My wife and I have had a project going on at our house that has disrupted our lives’.

We had to box up 2 rooms of stuff, and remember I collect Super hero toys and wrestling figures. Remember I am a bit of a geek.

Getting ready for a remodel is a lot like moving, you find yourself living out of boxes and saying “Honey , where are my pants?”  Of course if I would just open my eyes I would have seen them but like I said I am a bit of a geek.

We did have some unforeseen problems that put us behind in the remodel which led to a few more grey hairs.   But now that the job is done and we start emptying boxes and taking some of those toys and downsizing a bit I am so glad we did it.

I still have more than a few boxes to empty and putting on display, but that is the fun part of remodeling.

I AM A BIT OF A GEEK

 

On the morning show today Uber finds

Stupid news: Driving leads to ^&*$

Laff lines: Living in New York

 

FROM FRY SAUCE TO MAYCHUP TO MAYOTURD!

 

 

I am close to being a foodie, I will try to eat almost anything put in front of me.  Most of the time I find so much fun to taste new things.  Most of the time.

I was at a party in Louisiana and someone said “Hey, do you want an oyster” I said Ok and then wished I had said nope.    NASTY!

On my Honeymoon Cruise you could have anything and everything on the menu.   I saw they had escargot and I said OK then wished I had said NOPE.

Bacon makes anything taste great.  Not so Bacon breath.   A friend made me Bacon dipped in Chocolate.  Man I was excited!  Two of my favorite things on this earth!   Man that was nasty.

In the song “Down Under” by Men at work, they are talking about a Vegemite Sandwich.  I tried it and let’s just say the one bite did not get digested.

I know that in the past you ate every piece of an animal because meat was so hard to come by.  But I draw the line at as the “IRON CHEF” would say “The innards” then there is “Rocky Mountain Oyster” “Lamb Fries”

I DON’T THINK SO!!!!   NOPE NOPE NOPE!

I am not a foodie, just someone who loves food.  It all started a family dinner table when I would take Italian salad dressing and mix it in mashed potatoes.  Mom thought it was gross.  But years later, garlic mashed potatoes become the rage.  The 1st time I tried them I said “this taste like you used Italian dressing.

Here are some food combinations that some people love.

I had friends in Mo. that would eat Peanut Butter and tomato sandwiches.   All I could think of was how nasty Vegemite is.

My mother used to cook cornbread then crumble it up and pour on the Buttermilk.

She also ate a meat product we called souse but it is more commonly called Head Cheese.   I didn’t even want to look at it because it looked like someone had been to a buffet and then got really drunk.    IFFEN YOU KNOWS WHAT I MEAN!

Other combinations from Wideopeneating.com

Ice cubes or Orange juice in your breakfast cereal

Drinking Pickle Juice.  I love that myself not much but a little.  (Hint, if you use dehydrated onions.  Rehydrate them in pickle juice.  It is incredible)

Peanut butter on scramble eggs.

Dipping French fry’s in a frosty.   Tried it and didn’t like it.

Food man I love it.

How did this all get started well because of Mayochup?  When I lived in Mo.  I would often get mayo on the side   and mix it with ketchup and my friends would ewwwww.  I even tried to get a fast food place to add it to the menu and advertise the “Fry Sauce” but they were stubborn and went out of business.    THEY NEEDED FRY SAUCE”

Mayomus- I will still call it MAYOTURD!

Did you know that eating dessert 1st could help you lose weight?

Stupid news:  The UFC and fish on a plane

Laff lines: TEXTING

 

 

 

THE SUNSHINE STATE IS KIND OF STRANGE

Florida, the Sunshine state, one of the most popular states to go to for a vacation and retire in.  Florida has great amusement parks, beaches and Oranges.

But for some reason Florida is getting a reputation for having some of the strangest news stories and news outlets (yes Stupid News counts) are noticing.  Social media is full of strange news stories from Florida.

There is someone who has a lot of time on their hands has studied 225 of the strangest stories in Florida and came up with the top ten of ALL TIME.

A Florida man tossed a three-foot alligator through a drive-thru window at Wendy’s.

A Florida man slapped his employees with a large lizard called a bearded dragon.

A Florida man broke into a car dealership . . . stole an SUV, along with two TVs from the lobby . . . crashed through the glass doors . . . abandoned the SUV . . . then told cops he didn’t remember any of it.

A Florida man tied a 12-foot alligator to a tree to keep as a pet.

A hungry Florida man bit off his girlfriend’s thumb during a late-night Taco Bell run.

A drugged-up Florida man got burned dancing naked in a fire, then attacked police.

A Florida man who collected flamethrowers set his house on fire.

A Florida man got out of jail, then immediately broke into a car in the parking lot.

A Florida man well let’s just say he really liked stuffed animals at a Walmart.  REALLY LIKED THEM

A Florida man dressed up as a pirate, and got arrested for firing a musket at cars on the highway

Now I love to watch the A and E show LIVE PD and one of my favorite moments of the show came from Florida it involved THE HAM GUY.

Just so strange to see this well-groomed man in this mess of a trailer being so rude to the Police while eating a HAM, as the police talked to him he calmed down.  I guess ham can do that to a fella.

Then few weeks later at a fast food restaurant in Florida the LIVE PD crew ran into him again.  Gotta love the HAM GUY.

Today on the morning show we talked P.E.D.’s

Stupid news :  Jury duty , next time use spell check and  Ice and Granny.

Laff lines : Marriage

MARCH —- ALREADY

 

It’s March 1sr of 2019.  I told my wife this morning that the month of February is a blur to me.  Why, Stupid flu.  I spent most of the month not feeling well and for one of the few times of my life I missed work for being to sick to come in.  (Hospital stays don’t count)

So as you might guess I am hoping March is a much better month.

Here are some things to look forward to.

We lose an hour of sleep!!! OH BOY WHAT FUN!  Daylight savings time begins March 10th at 2am.   I complain about the lost sleep but I like the extra sunshine in the evenings.

Just think about it we lose an hours sleep but we can make up for it on March 11th which is NATIONAL NAP DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

March madness begins March 19th and ends on April 8th.  Now I will admit I am not as much into college ball as I used to be, but filling out a bracket is still fun.  I am usually out after the 1st round.    I did come in 2nd in a work bracket years ago and won an overnight stay in Park City.  I went to Park city on a weekend where there was NOTHING TO DO!  I think the city closed down because they knew I was coming.   We spent to weekend in our room watching The Mummy Movies!

Major league Baseball has its opening day on March 28th.  Got to root for my Cardinals and now add the Rockies to teams I follow.

The 1st day of spring is March 20th, my 1st hay fever attack is scheduled for March 21st.

Mardi gras in March 5th, the 1st time I heard it called Fat Tuesday I said “Finally a day just for me”.

International Women’s day is March 8th.  No jokes here. I admire the women in my life so much I cannot express the words.

March 14th is Pi day.  (Math I am bore)  I just know Facebook with be filled with Pi jokes that day.  But I will eat some Pie that day that is if I can add up enough money to buy some pie (Math I’m bored).

March 17th is St Patrick’s Day, I hope I don’t forget to wear green that day.  The guys next door at VFX just want an excuse to pinch me.

March 23rd is National Puppy day…awwww (I ain’t cleaning up after him)

And March 25th is International Waffle Day!

 

 

Stupid news:  Stupid 911 calls

Laff lines: having a personal trainer