DID I REALLY DO THAT? YES, YES I DID

STUPID IS WHAT STUPID DOES AND BOY AM I STUPID!

 

After this mornings “Stupid news” I started to think about the times in my life I have done some stupid things and most of those involved sports injuries.

I have always loved sports.  I wasn’t graceful or fast or …. Talented but I did try.  TO HURT MYSELF!

It all started when I was very young when I tried to balance on a basketball.   Sprained my ankle on that one.

In touch football I zigged the other kid zagged my eye socket and his head collided, his head won that fight. Half my face was bruised.

Rolling down a hill in a rain storm to splash into ditch.  Hit an empty beer bottle and put a huge gash in my ankle

At the bowling alley trying to show off I got down like a quarterback behind center to receive the bowling ball as it came back.  Problem was the ball return was covered and I put my hand inside the covered return.   The ball came and KABLAMO  hand stuck in the ball return and yes it hurt then came a 2nd ball ,oh the words that came out of my 5th grade mouth.    Got a badly bruised hand and ego on that one.

Broken bone in my right foot playing “Dodgeball”!

Broke my elbow in the 11th grade trying to learn how to be a Pro Wrestler.  A man I knew was in training and he was showing me some “moves”  I fell wrong and broken bone in the funny bone region.   The Dr gave me the option of surgery or not.  No surgery but to this day it swells up and hurts.

I through my back out playing FOOSBALL.

Another back injury by running into a wall playing Racquetball.   ‘Those walls are hard”

I finally decided I needed to slow down and play safer sports like Badminton.  Then I sprained my knee playing Badminton.

So when I get together with friends and we talk about our Glory Days and the injuries playing sports.  When they talk about a gruesome knee injury or broken nose playing sports like football, basketball or maybe skiing.  I get to tell the story of how I wrecked my back playing Foosball!

Today we found out the cast of Celebrity Big Brother

Stupid news: Don’t drive blindfolded, don’t eat the seat and Snakes in your mouth?

Laff lines: Dads

 

 

FACE TO FACE

 

We have these devices these Smart Phones, computers, and the internet.  But there are times you need to talk to someone face to face.

Here is what I mean.  A couple of weeks ago I had a small problem with my TV provider and I called the toll free line to get help.  The lady on the other end was extremely helpful and nice.   While trying to correct the problem I had took a couple of tries and reboots that took time.  We had a very nice conversation in between.  All in all one of the best experiences I have had in a situation like that.  THEN SOMETHING HAPPENED!

During our phone call I asked the tech on the other end if she could transfer me to another department to take care of a portion of our service I wanted to stop.  BIG MISTAKE!!!

As nice and professional the 1st tech was the 2nd was the opposite.   She was nice enough — but how to I say this—- Her happy meal did not have any fries- Dumb as a box of rocks.

I was wanting to cancel my MLB extra innings package.  That’s all and this lady tried to cancel my entire sports package.   I tried to explain that it was an add on to our regular service, but when I said “add on” she thought MATH I’M BORED”   I told her several times even asked her to get some help but NOOOOOOO.  After about 15 minutes of this I said “Look, I am getting frustrated, you have not been trained about this so I will just hang up and try again later to get someone who knows what they are doing”

All that led to yesterday, I went into a storefront that handles the service I use and actually talked to someone FACE TO FACE!  It took about 3 minutes and I am a happy camper today.

All the tech couldn’t help me.  But a real person did

SCORE ONE FOR FACE TO FACE!

Today on the morning show:  Why you should start your New Year’s resolutions on March 4th

Stupid news:  A bucket List and a Parking ticket

\Laff Lines: Jim Gaffagan on beards

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM

Happy Birthday to my MOM!

My mother was born on this date in 1924 in Tennessee.  Growing up in the depression, seeing people she loved going off to serve in WW II.  Yeah Mom had a rough start and a lot of challenges.

Her greatest challenge was David Denton.

Yeah, Me!!!!!!!!!

My mother had the challenge of raising 5 kids after our father passed away when I was four years old.   My Mother had very little education when Dad died so she did the only thing she could and went back to school and became a nurse to support her kids.   I know it had to be so hard on her.  My Dad meant the world to her and here she was alone with the closest family living hours away.  Let’s just say I am a proud son of Martha Arlene DE Hart Denton.

Why do I say I was her greatest challenge?  Let me tell you about something my wife says about me.  I will be telling her some childhood memories and Teresa will look me square in the eye and say “ YOUR POOR MOMMA” to which I reply ‘ AND NOW MOM LOOKS DOWN FROM HEAVEN AND SAYS THAT POOR TERESA”

Mom always made sure we went to church on Sunday’s and several times mom would stop at KFC to get Sunday Supper.   Occasionally she would stop at a small hamburger stand that served the best soft served Ice Cream.

One Sunday I was wanting Ice Cream and I wanted it NOW.  I started begging mom to stop but she said NO!  Several times I mean a lot because I WANTED ICE CREAM!

As we got closer I had a plan that was sure to work.  Sitting behind Mom who was driving I placed my left arm between her door and the car seat and reached out and turned on the turn signal thinking I was so cute that she had to get me Ice Cream.  My plan did not work, I don’t think I ever saw my Mom so mad at me.

Fast forward a few weeks later on the way home from church I start in asking for ice cream.  No Mom said, several times, Ok a lot.  Then in my ice cream deprived brain I had an idea.

As we got closer to the Ice cream joint I started making the sound of a turn signal and my Mom busted our laughing and I got some ICE CREAM!

“My poor Momma”

We moved when I was in the 8th grade and lived 2 miles from school and Memphis did not have a bus system at the time so I walked to school both ways in the snow up hill, every day!!!!!  That is until I broke my foot and mom had mercy on me and would drive me to school in the mornings, usually we would stop at a store to grab a soda and snack.  To this day I can hear her in my head telling me to get me something and her a Tab and a Honey Bun.

So in my Moms honor today I will stop by the store and get her favorite treat —- A honey bun— I hate Tab so I will substitute it with something ——- anything but a Tab!

“My poor Momma”

I loved seeing my Mom laugh and she loved  Andy Griffin so in her memory here is Andy telling the story of “ What it was, was Football’

This still makes me laugh

Today on the morning show: Our favorite condiments

Stupid news:  PEEPS AND JAN –U – HAIRY

Laff lines:  A time Machine

 

ALL GOOD THINGS COME TO AN END

 

The New Year brings us a chance for renewal a chance to make a few changes in our lives, but with something new something has to go.  So I have looked into some of the movie and TV series that will end in 2019.

The “Star Wars” Skywalker Saga.  “Star Wars 9” finally brings to an end the family drama that has stretched over three trilogies and 42 years.  No this will not end Star Wars movies, and that is a good thing…

“Game of Thrones”.  The eighth and final season kicks off in April.   I have never seen it but I know a lot of people love it and are sad to see it go.  But don’t worry . . . Spin-offs are coming.

The Marvel Cinematic Universe as we know it.  “Avengers: Endgame” hits theaters on April 26th . . . after which many of the main characters that have defined the MCU will be retired or de-emphasized in favor of new blood.   I hope for a Black Widow and Winter Soldier movie.

“The Big Bang Theory”.  Such a funny show but it has ran it course but I will admit I will miss Amy Farafaler

“Gotham”.  Some critics just didn’t get this great TV series.  For me seeing a young Bruce Wayne growing into the role of the Dark Knight has been incredible.  I have enjoyed every minute of this series.  Oh and for critics

There will plenty of TV shows that will not be renewed this year and anticipated movies that will bomb.  My advice is ignore the critics and make up your own mind.  I can only tell you what I like and what I don’t.

Example:  I did not like”Thor, Ragnar Rock” at all and a lot of people loved it.

I had a friend who said to me “If we all had the same taste, this would be a boring world”

         

Today on the morning show:  A story out of West Valley that might bring a tear to your eye. And to tip or not to tip

Stupid News; An arrest in Pennsylvania and we go to dinner in Paris

Laff lines: Vacations

 

I LEAD A HUM DRUM LIFE

 

The baby New Year needs to change his diaper!

Why?

2019 feels like 2018 to me

With all the activities around the Christmas and New Year’s holiday I am dreading getting back into life.

A new survey on Yahoo says that the average person takes four days to get back into the swing of things after the holiday.  Well I am not average

I have the hum drums

You know the hum drums, were we just power push through the day doing the same things over and over.  You know what, I like it that way sometimes.

I get up Monday through Friday at 4:15am and arrive at the station at 5am.  Let me tell you I am not a morning person, I grumble take a shower and try to prepare myself for the rest of the day.  If you were in my car as I came to work you would hear me talking to myself and making strange noises to warm up my voice.

Then my Hum drum life kicks into gear as I go through my morning routine.  Yes I do more than just play songs and sing along all morning long……. Well I admit sometimes I do (I am glad we don’t have a studio camera)

My Hum Drum Life continues behind the scenes here at KOOL 103.9.  I have people who say I have a cushy job.  Pretty much so!!! No I love my job but it is not cushy. It is not a 9 to 5 job for sure and I am usually home in the afternoons.  But often after lunch I am back here working on different projects and ideas for KOOL

My Hum Drum Life takes me home where I work on the Podcast Turnbuckletrash.net.   I even find the time to do a few dishes and a little laundry.   (Notice the words few and little I am a man after all).

Then my Hum Drum life becomes great, why because my wife gets home and we get to Hum Drum together and that’s just the way I like it

I LOVE MY HUM DRUM LIFE

 Today on the morning show; Boy Scout cookies.  Math and Pizza

Stupid news spanning the globe we go to Rio and Arkansas

Laff lines: Dating

 

 

I LOVE FOOTBALL

I love the game of Football!

Watching the crazy finish of the Chicago Bears and the Philadelphia Eagles just reminded me of why I love football and sports in General.

As the bear line up for the game winning kick and having it drink, not once but twice.  IT WAS A DOUBLE DOINK.

There are so many great memories of game winning plays.

The Music city Miracle with all the laterals that gave the Titians the win

Mike jones tackles Kevin Dyson as the Rams beat the Tennessee titans in the Super bowl.  My wife were at a Party with about 75 people with half for the Rams and half for the titans.   We had a blast.  The Party room at the old Ruby Tuesday’s in Logan would never be the same again.

BYU winning the Holiday bowl on Jim McMahons Hail Mary to beat UNLV.

Doug Flutie’s Hail Mary to beat Miami.

Boise State’s Statue of Liberty play to win the game against Oklahoma in the Fiesta bowl.  Ok Aggie fans you got to admit it was KOOL to see and then the Marriage Proposal.  OH YEAH.

But I would say my favorite was THE CATCH!

If I thought long and hard for other sports we could go on and on  moments like  Tigers put at the masters that seemed to stop just short of the  cups showing the Nike swoosh then dropping in !    John Stockton sending the Jazz to the Playoff or when Michael Jordan pushed of on B- Russ.  (Yes I am bitter)

I love sports and tonight I will be rooting for Alabama, not because I love the Crimson Tide or even Elephants. I just like to say ROLL TIDE

Why is it so hard to get back into our routine

Stupid news from St George and Burger King

Laff lines: Rap Music

 

 

 

GIVING THE POLICE SOME R-E-S-P-E-C-T!

GIVING OUR 1ST RESPONDERS A LITTLE R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

 

Thursday was a day that made me respect the men and women who keep us safe even more.   A drug deal goes bad and guns were involved.  A huge fire in Smithfield.

Do we give enough credit and respect to law enforcement and 1st responders.  I can only answer for me when I say that we need to be better at it.

Like a lot of you I have been addicted to the A & E show Live PD.  Recently they added a Body Camera show too.  I think watching these shows can give you just a glimpse into the dangers they face every day and doing it willingly.

Traffic stops that become high speed chases, or a DUI case.  Things can get crazy very fast.  Domestic violence calls, finding cases of child abuse and more.

Then there are the idiots who think they know more than Police.  One memorable moment on Live PD was a traffic stop and the man told police while behind the wheel that he was not driving, he was traveling. SAY WHAT!  People being searched and police find drugs and you here “Those aren’t my pants, I didn’t know that was in there”

However there was one time that I Dave Denton did know something that an officer did not.   I wasn’t breaking any laws but I had been in an accident and the officer was checking my ID.  There was a problem with my address on the license.   I had recently moved and had place my new address on the back of license as instructed by the DMV (I am not sure if this is still the case).  The officer checked with dispatch and I was right!  Nany Nany BOO BOO!   Actually we had good laugh about that sitting in his patrol car.  The officer was so cool about the whole thing and making sure my wife and I were not injured in the accident.

Then there is the response to a question “How many drinks have you had “and the answer is “about 2 beers” all the while they have trouble standing.

I know there are bad cops out there and sometimes when we interact with them it seems they can be harsh.  Just remember they deal day to day with people who lie to them.  They don’t know me and they probably don’t know you but they need to interact with you and me in a way that protects both you and the officer.  Just co-operate the best you can.  Give them so R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

 

Today on Stupid News: The stupid things we do for love

Laff Lines; Office Pot Lucks

 

THEY COME IN THREE’S

They come in three’s and that happened on January 2nd 2019…

Three celebrities in three very defend forms of entertainment passed away.   I was a big fan of all three.

Bob Einstein died at the age of 76.  Most people will remember his role on “Curb Your Enthusiasm” However Bob will always be SUPER DAVE OSBORNE.

Super Dave the character was a stuntman whose stunts never worked out.  Bob’s deadpan delivery showed what a massive talent he was.   He was a frequent guest on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson

Bob also was a writer and sometime actor on The Smothers Brothers Comedy hour.

In pop music of the 70’s a husband and wife duo was one of the hottest acts of the mid 70’s.  the Captain and Tennille burst on the scene and hit # 1 with” Love will keep us together.”  Other hits included “Shop Around” and “Do that to me one more time”  My favorite songs from them is a song I consider one of the greatest and sexiest love songs ever is “ The Way I Want To Touch You”

A lot of cold showers because of that song.

Then to hear of the death of Mean Gene Okerlund came as a shock to me.  His fame came in the world of PRO Wrestling.  I was watch Mean Gene when he was part of the old “AWA” But Gene would become a household name in the 80’s with the Popularity of such stars like Hulk Hogan, randy Macho Man Savage, Jake the Snake, the Million Dollar man and Psyco Syd.  Mean Gene always had that look on his face that always looked like “I know that your know, but don’t tell anyone else”

They come in three’s but I cannot remember a time when three celebrities from three diverse forms of entertainment all died on one day.

I am just glad I got to enjoy the talents the shared with us.

Stupid news: A look back of stories with a Peacock, a dog, a monkey, and Lego’s

Laff Lines:  Rodney getting old

MAN I HATE JANUARY 2ND

BACK TO THE GRIND

 January 2nd can really be depressing.  The holidays are over and there are very few things to look forward too.  It’s cold, we have inversion and dang we have to go back to work and school.  Did I mention it is cold?

“Sigh” it can be depressing on January 2nd.

Well I Dave Denton will try to bring a little hope a little joy to our worlds.  How?  Heck I don’t know,

There are some positives to January 2nd.

We actually have snow on the ground.  Winter sports lovers didn’t get much to play with last year.

The final season of Gotham begins this week, I will be depressed after that.

Sitting by a warm fire place is nice.

There are a few little holidays to that we can look forward to in January that can take some of the doldrums’ away.  Like tomorrow January 3rd is Women Rock day.

Friday is Spaghetti day

January 7th is Old Rock Day.  “As donkey said in Shriek.  “That’s a nice bolder, I love what you have done with that bolder.

I can’t wait for January 9th because it will be National Static electricity day (I am already rubbing my shoes on the carpet in anticipation)

January 17th is National ditch your New year Resolutions day.  Let’s meet at an ice cream store

January 22 is hot sauce day

And a Holiday that I am really looking forward to is Sunday January 27th.  CHOCALATE CAKE DAY!  There are so many variations you can go with.  My personal favorite Yellow Cake with Chocolate frosting.

So today January 2nd can really be a downer but having something to look forward to help.

By the way don’t tell Aaronee about the Static Electricity day.  I have something special for her that day!!!!!!!

Stupid news looks back at Stupid in 2018

Laff lines; Working at a Hospital

THIS YEAR I RESOLVE NOT TO RESOLVE!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Do you make New Year’s Resolutions, I have a few times but not to great success.  You know the ones.  I will lose weight this year!  I will exercise, I will stop being a jerk to people who don’t agree with everything I put on Facebook.

Well that is one I wish more people would do.

 

Here are some other New Year’s resolution you might want to try in 2019

I will stop worrying that I worry so much.

I will not bore my boss by with the same excuse for taking time off.   I will think of some more excuses!

I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.

I will give up chocolates totally.  I thought you might want a good laugh!

I will give up Bacon.  Yep I will no longer eat Bacon.  Oh who am I kidding!

I will find out why the correspondence course on “Mail Fraud” that I purchased never showed up.

I will start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store.

I will always “check for paper” when leaving the restroom.

I will try to drive closer to the speed limit. Oh who am I kidding

I will keep an extra safe distance when driving behind police cars.
I will stop saying,” Ooh, that feels nice” whenever the security guys frisk me at airports.
Finally

I will never again take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

 

Happy New Year:

On a personal note I want to thank you for all your kind words during 2018.  I love what I do every morning.   Like most jobs being on the radio can be hard.  But I do love what I do.   When I think about my job I can honestly say, I don’t have a job I have fun.

Let’s be thankful for our blessing and strive to have a great 2019

Dave Denton

Stupid news: Strange New Year drops

Laugh lines: Jello