MY HOUSE ALMOST MISSED THE MOON LANDING BUT MR HOUSE MADE SURE WE DIDN’T

July 20th 1969 and Neil Armstrong was about to make history with man’s first step on the moon.

I ALMOST MISSED IT!

Most of the world was watching and I was too thanks to a very kind neighbor.

As you know I grew up in a loving household but a household supported by a single mom who did her best and sometimes things had to wait.   Like fixing the TV when it was broken and yep ours was not working in July of 1969.  We just did not have the money to get it fixed.  I was disappointed for sure just hoping a friend would ask me to come over to his house to watch.

Well the house turn out to be MR. HOUSE.  One of my friends was named Johnny House and I guess Johnny told his dad that our TV was not working at the time.  Mr. House came to my house and asked my mom if he could see if he could repair it.  He found the problem and went to a store to buy some parts and got it working.  The landing was watched on television by an estimated 600 million people.

As today as we look back at the historic day that Neil Armstrong took that one small step.  I want to thank a man who took a giant step of kindness for my family.

THANK YOU MR. HOUSE!

Here are some things you might not have known.

Neil Armstrong carried with him a piece of wood from an airplane that belonged to the Wright Brothers.

If Apollo 11 had failed, President Nixon had a speech ready.

The astronauts left pictures of human beings and the recordings of many languages on the moon’s surface.

The astronauts landed with only about 15 seconds of fuel to spare.


Today on the morning show The P.C. crowd and a salute to ICE CREAM

Stupid news a huge fight in Florida and the Strom Area 51 crusade is crushed

Laff Lines

 

THE FIRST IN LIFE

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Life is full of first and some of those first are so important   that you will always remember them.

So what are the first in your life?  Here is some of my list in my life.

First car:  69 Pontiac Lemans

First record I purchased:  I walked about a mile and a half to buy the Jackson five 45 of “ABC”

First Concert: Steppenwolf and the Byrd’s

First traffic ticket: Near Moab traveling down a steep down grade going way to fast.

First traffic accident: In a convenient store parking lot where a lady backed up without looking.   I called home to tell Mom and the First think she said “Is my car O K” Yes mom and I was too, thanks for asking

First real job: Working at the Stop n Shop in Memphis

First real vacation as an adult:  When I was sixteen my cousin and I spent a week along the Lincoln Heritage Highway.

First plane trip:  I was young and flew by myself from St. Louis to Memphis.   I was about 10 and a pretty stewardess sat next to me.   HUBBA HUBBA BUBBA.

First time I moved away from home:  When I left Memphis to go to then Ricks College.

First major league sporting event.  The LA Raiders vs the NY Giants

First time in Utah:  I was sixteen and was driving through to California with my Sister and her husband

Since I love Pro Wrestling I will add this one

Frist Pro Wrestling event live:  My uncle took me to an event near Texarkana Arkansas.

Frist time;   NOPE NOT GONNA GO THERE!

Finally my first time on the radio by myself.  I was playing the song Sundown by Gordon Lightfoot and I got more than just a bit confused and took the tone are off the record!!!! YIKES, then I was in panic mode and put the  tone arm  back on the record and promptly had my panic levels skyrocket.  I turned the record off…….. Then turned it back on

  Thus a radio star was born

 

There is an AP for that and a story to restore faith in humanity

Stupid news: Beer and Hot dogs

Laff lines

 

Agent P Wallpaper

CHRISTMAS IN JULY … THAT’S NOT RIGHT

Christmas in July is a real thing.   Stores will base sales calling them Christmas in July sales.   Amazon Prime even compares it Prime day to “Black Friday”.

Then on Saturday afternoon this happened.  I drove my wife to Hobby Lobby and not wanting to give up my ****“MAN CARD’ I stayed in the car.   A few minutes later here come my wife with a smile on her face!  WHY?  Because Hobby Lobby was already selling Christmas items.  It was July 13th and they had put up Christmas!

BAH HUMBUG!

***** I joke about the MAN CARD thing because frankly the store has very few items that I would ever shop for.  I do have some really cool Batman Signs and a Bat Symbol light that came from Hobby Lobby.

So why am I ragging on Christmas in July?  Because I can.  I want my holidays to be celebrated close to the holidays and we haven’t come close to Halloween, Thanksgiving and of course Christmas.

Then yesterday it was announced that the Lifetime channel will air 28 Christmas movies this upcoming season.   The Hallmark Channel will play Christmas movies and July and during the holiday season the will pump out 40 Christmas movies.

Angela Lansbury saw “We need a little Christmas” and I agree

JUST NOT IS JULY.

 

Today ay on the morning show Panhandling and target

Stupid News:  We go to Pennsylvania, Spain and Florida

 

: Laff lines

 

I WANTED TO BE A BACON TASTE TESTER

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WHEN I GROW UP TO BE A MAN “

That song by the Beach Boys always makes me think about my childhood and trying to decide what I wanted to do as a grown up in a grown up world.

I recently had a friend ask me “if you weren’t in radio, what would you be doing”

I am a very lucky man who stumbled his way into a profession I love.   But I had to make a decision.   What would I do for the rest of my life?

If you ask kids now you would get answers like, A Doctor, A Nurse, A teacher, a soldier or A Computer programmer.

Not me.  Well maybe a member of the military, I did take two years of R.O.T.C.  But even though I have the utmost respect for our military it wasn’t the right fit for me.

When I was in elementary school I really thought I would be a weatherman.   I read books and every night watched the local weatherman looking a maps and flow charts.  Then I found out something, to be a weatherman you needed to be good at math!   So the closest I came to being a weatherman was doing a George Carlin impression.

 

My Mother was a nurse and that influenced me to consider becoming a repertory or physical therapist.   And as many times as I have had physical therapy I probably could be one today.

Quick story there:  I had a knee replacement several years ago and the P.T. is sometimes very painful.  One day I was going to a DR’s appointment and ran into the Physical Therapist who worked with me and he said “How’s that knee?  We beat the Hell out of you but you kept coming back”   I guess that was a ……. Compliment?

The only other job I have had in my adult life was being a convince store clerk.  To be honest I kind of enjoyed that job to.

But I got lucky and found my profession at the age of 16 but what if I had decided to stop radio what would I be doing?

That is a hard question to answer, because I have rarely even thought about it.   But I guess I would have to say that I might be in public relations or advertising in some way.

“WHEN I GROW UP TO BE A MAN” I want to be the mooring show host on KOOL 1039

Like I said, I am a lucky man

Today we found out about a new viral stunt on social media

Stupid news:  15 seconds of fame, Taco Bell and a get out of jail card in Ireland

 

Laff lines

BREAK ME OFF A SMALL CHUNK OF CHOCOLATE… I HAVE NEVER SAID THAT

Question of the day:   IS IT POSSIBLE TO EAT CHOCALATE WRONG?

Apparently so!  According Chocolate Fetish we’ve all been eating chocolate wrong our whole lives.  According to the Chocolate experts, here are four ways to make it taste even better . . .

  1. Stop chewing it so much.  You’ll taste it more if you press it up on the roof of your mouth, and let it dissolve by sucking on it. (Like I have the will power to do that)
  2. Stop eating it in huge chunks.  Breaking it up into smaller pieces releases the aromas.  So you taste it more, especially if it’s good chocolate.  Rubbing it with your thumb also helps. (Who ever said break me off a small chunk so I can rub it with my thumb?)
  3. Smell it before you eat it.  Just like wine, experts say you should smell you’re chocolate before you pop it in your mouth.  It primes your taste buds, so you get more of the flavor. (My taste buds are always primed)
  4. Stop washing it down so fast.  The taste of chocolate lasts a fairly long time if you let it linger.  So you keep getting the flavor without eating more, which also saves calories.  (But I wash my Chocolate down with Chocolate Milk)

as a Bonus here are the Smothers Brothers on Chocolate

This is so silly! Next thing you know they will be telling me I am eating Bacon the wrong way.

I can’t take credit for these…. My best friend and former roommate posted these over the weekend so I thought I would steal….. Borrowed them.

Thanks Bear:

Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A: Because he felt crummy

Q: Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window?
A: Because he wanted to see time fly!

Q: Why was the baby strawberry crying?
A: Because his mom and dad were in a jam.

Q: What do lawyers wear to court?
A: Lawsuits!

Q: What did one toilet say to the other toilet?
A: You look flushed

Q: Why is there a gate around cemeteries?
A: Because people are dying to get in!

Q: Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure?
A: Because he was a little shellfish

Q: What did the policeman say to his belly button?
A: You’re under a vest!

Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An impasta

Q: What lights up a soccer stadium?
A: A soccer match

Q: Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?
A: Because it’s pointless.

Q: Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
A: He wanted cold hard cash!

 

Utah Beer:

Stupid news: Chess and Oh thank heaven

Laff lines

STAYING KOOL AS A KID

There are two weather says that drive me insane.

It’s not the heat it’s the humidity and it’s a dry heat.

Well let me tell you something

HOT IS HOT!

Growing up in the south, I experience heat and humidity the combination is unreal at times.   To beat the heat on Saturday’s we would cram the car and we would drive a few miles into northern Mississippi and spend the day at a lake swimming.  It was really fun and we always made new friends while we were there. That didn’t mean I never got into trouble while at the lake.  One Saturday we made a natural waterslide on a hill by the lake.  We actually dug out a crude waterslide that was as slick as a regular slide.  This slide was made out of mud!

We were a muddy mess climbing up the hill and sliding down into the water.   Let’s just say I stared the day with white shorts and by the time the days was over my white shorts were the color of Mississippi mud.

Another great to not so great childhood memory involves Air conditioning. I was just a kid when my mother finally saved up enough money to purchase a large Air Conditioner. I watched as some men cut a hole into    the wall overlooking the dining room.  I remember standing shirtless on the table to feel the rush of the cold air envelope me in summer busting KOOLNESS!  I loved that Air co.  That is until it broke down on one of the hottest days of the year.  We didn’t have enough money to get it fixed until mom’s next paycheck.

When you get used to air-co then you don’t have it the sweat glands go into overdrive.

Nighttime was the worst- you opened every door, every window the fans were on high and you were still miserable.

But with that misery comes a great memory.  Instead of sleeping in out beds or outside where misquotes the size of a Buick would attack you, we curled up on the floor by the front door hoping and praying for cooler air.  We laughed every time a breeze would come in through the door.  We would all shout “BREEZE” and wrestle for the best position to enjoy the slightly cooler moment.

I don’t know how many day’s we went through this torture but  to this day on a hot day and I feel breeze I remember my sisters and I fighting for position to feel the KOOLNESS.

I think I will go turn down the thermostat and enjoy the next best invention next to Air condoning… CENTRAL AIR

 

YABBA DABA DOO!

Stupid news: Traffic comes to a standstill in Atlanta and a Traffic stop in Oklahoma

Laff lines:

I DO NOT LIKE HOT WEATHER

How hot is it?

For me when the temperature climbs into the 90’s it is time for the air conditioned comfort of my home.

In rhea cold of winter you can layer it up on cold weather days but in the heat of summer there is only so many items of clothing you can and should take off.

A few years ago my wife and I decided to take a vacation to go see some major league baseball. St louis Cardinal Baseball at that (surprise).  We thought maybe a trip to Colorado but couldn’t got the weekend the Cards where in Denver.  Good thing too, I was watching the game on TV that we wanted to go to and it was snowing and snowing hard.

Our next choice for a baseball getaway was in a domed stadium so now weather problems affecting the game.  The hotel we stayed in said “Within easy walking distance to the ballpark to.  Easy Peasy right?

NOT WHEN THE TEMPERATURE WAS ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTEEN DEGREES.

HOLY———.  THAT IS HOT

Yep, we decided that it was a good idea to go on our baseball vacation to Phoenix Arizona in July.  But being the optimist I can tell you that the Cards won both games we went to and we didn’t succumb to the heat!  Why?

IT WAS A DRY HEAT!

Hot is hot and that is why I have found some “t’s so hot jokes

IT WAS SO HOT

The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

The trees are whistling for the dogs.

The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.

You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.

The cows are giving evaporated milk.

I saw a bird pull a worm out of the ground with an oven mitt

The Statue of liberty was asked to lover her arm

Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.

Bums are holding signs that read, will work for shade!

STAY KOOL!

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Today I got confused by Science

Stupid news : Sounds only a Teenager would hear.  And in Atlanta a mix up for a birthday cake

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Laff lines

HEY YA’;;

I still say ya’ll, and I guess I always will!

Over the past few days I have been thinking about my days in Radio.   A job I have had since I was in high school in Memphis Tennessee.

I have had people ask me how I got rid of my southern accent.  I will say ‘INCREIDIBLE TALENT” LOL.  Not really I had to work at it even if I did not have a strong accent.

Yes I said Ya’ll and every soft drink was a coke but I worked hard at my accent.   I even sat in a room with a tape recorder reading a first grade reader.  You see southerners pronounce some words a little different the word nine, mine, five were really hard for me to pronounce correctly and these practice sessions helped.

Then after graduation, I left Memphis to go to school at RICKS now B-Y-U, Idaho.   Southern accent in hand and I learned to use it to my advantage.   HOW?

As I would met people and they would find out I was from the south they would ask.  SPEAK SOUTHERN FOR ME!  I would lay on the accent thick, you would think it was a Jeff Foxworthy routine.  But Jeff wasn’t doing standup at the time.  It gave me a change to work on how I pronounced words because I would exaggerate each southern word and as I did this I found myself slowly losing my southern accent.   Sort of

I can still slip into a pretty good accent.   An accent I am extremely proud of.   I love knowing I grew up in the south even with all its problems.    Not saying I want to live there because I haven’t been back for 25 years.   I am perfectly happy right here YA’LL.

Today on the morning show those were the days and September 20th 2019

Stupid news: A gender reveal.  A flyover and you add the sound effects

Laff lines

 

I’VE NEVER BEEN TO DISNEYLAND

I have never been to Disneyland.  Close yes but never inside.

I am sure that surprises many but to others who have never been you are probably say.” NO BIGGY DAVE’

When I moved out west I figured there would be time to make my way to Disneyland.  When I lived in Idaho some friends and I talked about a trip but it never happened.

Then I got married and my wife and I just never wanted to go.  Not our thing.

So why do I say I was close to going to Disneyland.  Well it is kind of a”GOOFY” story.  GET IT … obvious humor huh?

Several years ago a tragic event occurred in my family and my wife and I went to Central California to be with family.   As part of that trip as a family we gathered in Orange County a few days later.   Another family member had booked a nearby hotel for us to stay in.

We left Central California to drive to Orange County.   Our luck put us in LA right at rush hour.   Yes that was my favorite part of the trip.  But thanks to my wife superior navigating skills and my superior driving ability we made our destination.

As I turned into the parking lot and pried my fingers off the steering wheel I knew we were at our destination.

THE CANDY CANE INN.   It was right next to DISNEYLAND.

A really nice hotel within walking distance of the DISNEYLAND GATE!

It was getting close to dark and we were hungry so I looked at my wife and said.  There is a 7 -11 less than a block away.   I did not want to drive another inch.

The next day the family gathered and asked if we could stay one more night to which we politely declined.  Because we really needed to get back to Logan and that is one long drive.

So off we drove north and stopped in the adult DISNEYLAND …. LAS VEGAS.

We have family there and it was nice to visit with them.   It also nice that I won a little cash … I said little I think I won enough for tank of gas or a trip to the breakfast buffet!

That trip began after a tragic incident.  Then it became a chance to be with family.  See a part of the country I had never been too and being so close to DISNEYLAND that we watched the nightly fireworks from our hotel window.   Yep that was close enough for me!

Today on the show Fat or no fat?  I am confused.  And earthquakes

Stupid news walking on Pizza and the Jaws of Life

Laff Lines

 

 

CRUISE IN FUN

 

 

WOW THAT WAS FUN:

The 2019 Cache valley Cruise is over and I had a blast.  I cannot tell you how much I appreciate the club who put in countless volunteer hours to give us one of the best car shows in the intermountain west.

Friday night I was invited along with Kenny Mac of KLZX to MC the Survivor and Loverboy concert and what a blast that was looking out at you and doing a Hulk Hogan and Mr. T impression.

Before and after the show I got to talk to so many of you who listen to KOOL 1039 and I sure do appreciate all the kind things you said.   I love talking to KOOL listeners and showing them I have the perfect face for radio.

 

The one frustrating thing from the weekend was the rumor mill and social media misinformation out there.   I was asked over and over again about the future of the Cruise in.

THE CRUISE IN WILL CONTINUE  

THE CRUISE IN WILL CONTINUE  

THE CRUISE IN WILL CONTINUE

THE CRUISE IN WILL CONTINUE

 

 

It is kind of like the old party game you whisper a sentence into someone’s ear and they do the same until it goes around the room and the final person tells what he heard which is WRONG!

It gets comical how much misinformation is out there just know this.

THE CRUISE IN WILL CONTINUE

 

Brandon Douglass of the Cruise in joined me on the radio this morning

One the morning show we talked Vacation stops

 

Stupid news Blood rushing to your head and dangerous PIGS?

 

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