WITH GREAT POWER

               

WITH GREAT POWER COMES GREAT RESPONSIBILTY

Those are the famous words from Uncle Ben to Peter Parker who in reality is Spider-man.  Stan Lee had a way with words and his talent and influence on the comic book industry is an incredible legacy for his life.

In my opinion Stan Lee saved Marvel comic with the creation of Spider-man.  The teenage Superhero with flaws and a sense of humor.

Spide-rman was not my favorite Stan Lee creation.  That would have to go to both The Fantastic Four and the X-Men.  But as I have blogged before, I am more of a D.C. fan.  Why is that?  Stan Lee.

When I was young and really enjoyed reading comics but the Marvel Comics had continuing story lines over several books and most of my comic came from buying packages of comics that had half the cover cut off.  So when I would buy get a Marvel comic the story ended in a cliff hanger.  But D.C. comics usually had one book one story.  Now every comic book uses the extended story lines.

But I still would read Marvel whenever I got a chance.  But I guess my enjoyment of Stan Lee’s creations came in the form of Saturday morning cartoons.

Fast forward to 2018, I still read comics, mostly D.C. but the Marvel movies are much better than D.C. movies (The Dark Knight is the exception)

So thank you Stan Lee for being part of who I am

EXCELSIOR!

 

Today on the morning show we looked back on Stan Lee’s career and how much money we will spend on Christmas during our life.

Stupid news; that wasn’t shrimp thrown on the BBQ.    Boy meets Girl and a D-I-V-O-R-C-E.

Laff Lines:  Thanksgiving meals

Here are some pictures of my Marvel Hero collection

                                                      

 

 

DON’T SAY THAT!

Before I get into the kind of silly blog, I wanted to take a short time to express my thanks to our nations Veterans.   I did not serve myself but I did serious consider a career in the military.

As with many of you the ravages of war has hit my family too.   My Uncle Edward Denton was killed outside of Paris in WWII.  I never got to meet him but I have always had a spot in my heart for him.

Many people in my family have served.  My Father, two Uncles, two of my brother in laws, and my Father in law.   Let’s all take to opportunity to say Thanks and God bless you all.

There was a story in the stupid news that I just had to chuckle about.   Colorado State University apparently has decided that the phrase “YOU GUYS” is politically incorrect.

SAY WHAT?

They also listed “Long time no see” and ya’ll.

Let me say something here, I grew up in Memphis TN. during a time a certain word was very common.  That word was meant to demean and insult people.  But growing up it was in common everyday use.  Yes I used it with the operative word used it.  That was until I realized what that word really meant.   It took a long time for me to stop using it.  Why, once again it was such a common word that as a child it was ingrained in me.   I do not say the word today because I would never say anything to demean a group of people.  The intentional use of such language is not something that I support in anyway.

However I just have to shake my head with some of the phrases and words that are seen as offensive.  An example is the term “You guys”.  As a kid we used to make fun of those who said “You guys”. Why?  Because in the south we used “Ya’ll.  I know that people in the north and west made fun of us for saying “Ya’ll” because they said “You Guys”

Here is a list of some words that the website politicallyincorrectme.uk/banned.htm had about these words.  Now remember some of these are lounge in check

Please use the PC alternative….

Alive Temporarily metabolically abled.
Bald Follicularly challenged
Body Odor Non discretionary fragrance
Broken Home Dysfunctional family
Clumsy Uniquely coordinated
Criminal Behaviourally challenged
Dead Living impaired
Dishonest Ethically disoriented
Drunk Chemically inconvenienced
Dustman Sanitation Engineer
Fail Achieve a deficiency
Fairy Petite airborne humanoid with mystical powers
Fat Horizontally challenged
Foreign Food Ethnic cuisine
Gossip Speedy transmission of near-factual information
Housewife Domestic Engineer
Ignorant Knowledge-based non-possessor
Jailer Custodial Artist
Jungle Rain Forest
Late Rescheduled arrival time
Lazy Motivationally deficient
Lumberjack Tree Murderer
Natural Disaster Global Warming occurrence
Short Vertically challenged
Shy Conversationally selective
Spendthrift Negative saver
Talkative Abundantly verbal
Tall Vertically enhanced
Trailer Park Mobile Home community
Ugly Cosmetically different
Worst Least best
Wrong Differently logical

 

I am just trying to say the Extreme in any movement in my opinion can make that movement seem silly and out of date.   I emphasize the EXTREME.  There are legit concerns in a lot of different areas and I am in full support of discussion of those concerns.  I just think today there are people who are just looking for ways to be offended.  If you are offended by that then you get over yourself.

 

Today is “Happy Hour Day” we look at eh people’s choice awards and how to tell if someone doesn’t like your Thanksgiving meal.

Stupid news:  Colorado State gets Stupid. A bear attack, and a Porta Potty theft.

Laff Lines: Getting your tonsils out

I HAVE A HEADACHE

I HAVE A HEADACHE

 

Not a bad headache just a run of the mill sinus headache.   So why am I telling you this?

I don’t know – I have a headache!

Actually I have had a small nagging headache for 2 days now.  It feels like a sinus head, you know the ones right behind your eyes that bright lights aggravate.  That kind of headache.

I don’t get a lot of headaches but I think we all have.  Some are self-inflicted headaches you know Hangovers.  No I don’t have a hangover, never have.   But a hangover headache did cause me a little grief when I was in school.

I was in an R.O.T.C. class when a friend invited me to a party.  Now this guy and I were not best friends but good friends.   I had heard him telling other people that there was going to be a lot of booze at his party and I have never had the desire to drink. (No judgement, I don’t like the taste)  Any way I politely declined and thought that was the end of it.   However he took offense and asked me why and I just said I was uncomfortable in a situation like that and that I did not drink.

Why? He asked

I said “I don’t like the thoughts of being hungover and sick the next day.

“Well” he said “I get drunk every weekend and never get a hangover”

Me “You ain’t never been drunk”

LET THE FIGHT BEGIN!

The Sargent major in charge of the class quickly broke it up and after getting both sides of the story proclaimed.  “YOU AIN’T NEVER BEEN DRUNK”

But I digress, I have a headache.

I have several friends who have Migraine headaches and I can’t imagine the pain.  So your Migraine trumps my Sinus headache.

I wrote Trump- hope that doesn’t offend anyone on social media.

 

I HAVE A HEADACHE

 

Today on the morning show.  Black Friday is only 2 weeks away and “Those were the days” the time change is still hard

Stupid news: A nap and a Camel

Laaff lines :being Married

 

 

 

 

I AM AGING NOT SO GRACEFULLY

YOU ARE ONLY AS OLD AS YOU FEEL AND I FEEL OLD!

At one time of my life I was a thin good looking young man with a full head of hair.   OK, I was never thin.  But I was thinner, somewhat.  My hair has become gray and I am still good looking.  Hahahahahahahahhahahahahahah

As much as we try you can’t stop getting older.  That is what we do.  All the creams, lotions, pills, dyes, and plastic surgery doesn’t keep Father Time from taking its toll.

Just this morning in our stupid news we had a story of a man in the Netherlands who is 69 years old and he is going to court.  TO CHANGE HIS AGE!  He says that he identifies with being 49 years old.   Another reason he wants to legally change his age is so he can meet more women through Tender.

Hey Bubba no matter what you do your body is still 69 and you are becoming a vain old coot.  Is that too harsh. Ok you are becoming a vain old idiot.  Ahh I feel better now.

As we age some simple things are not so simple anymore.  Age didn’t creep up on me, Age came up to me face to face and laughed in my face.

Two things happened to me that made me age quickly.

In the year 2000 I had dark hair and beard but I became very ill.  I spent so much time at the Dr’s office and in and out of the hospital and the stress of that illness turned my hair quickly.

Just a few years ago another thing happened to age me quickly.  I broke my foot.  That doesn’t sound so bad now does it?  But that broken foot led to other things.  I had a screw put into my foot and when I finally got out of the walking boot the extra stress on my opposite knee had caused enough damage that I needed a knee replacement.  A 3 day hospital stay became 2 and a half weeks.  Today I can walk, but I am not what I used to be.   But then again who is!

Here are the top ten simple tasks that get a lot harder as you age . . .

  1. Picking things up off the floor. (The floor needs to be a lot closer)
  2. Opening jars or packaging. (Not a problem …….YET)
  3. Getting up and down the stairs. (I hate stairs, but I always have.  In college I once fell down the same flight of stairs 3 times in a 24 hour period)
  4. Household chores. (What, I have chores)
  5. Getting in and out of the bathtub. (Shower time)
  6. Standing up out of a chair. (Major for me, I need most chairs to be just a little higher)
  7. Walking long distances.  (Bad feet, bad knee’s0
  8. Using modern technology. (Dag gum fancy computers anyway)
  9. Putting your shoes on, and taking them off. (Yep)
  10. Driving. (Not a problem….. yet.  I am a great driver…..  At least I am a good driver… well above average. Only one ticket in my life!

So as you can see we get older some age gracefully, some …..  Not so much.

Just remember this “AGE IS ONLY REALATIVE. I AM JUST GLAD I HAVE REALATIVES OLDER THAN ME”

Today on the morning show; those were the days

Stupid news:  A lost lottery ticket, a vain man, and a strange pet

 

Laff Lines:  Grandparent nicknames

 

I AM NO HANDYMAN

Over the years I have found out something about myself.  I am not a very good handy man!   But sometimes that is a good thing.

Years ago I was having a plumbing issue in my home.  I called a plumber and got the problem fixed.  While he was there I mentioned that I wasn’t much as a handyman.  His response was awesome.  “I’ve made a lot of money of people who THINK they are a good handyman.

So why do I write this today?  Yesterday the brake lights on my car stopped working.   Now I don’t know about you but brake lights are kind of important to me.  So I am trying to think, what could be wrong?  Blown Fuse?  Could be, so I grab my car’s owner’s manual to see what fuse it could be.  Easy right?

NOT SO FAST GREASE MONKEY BREATH!!!!

The owners Manuel was not much help and I contributed that to my complete lack of mechanical abilities.  I call a friend for some help.   I mean he knows cars and electronics and guess what, he could not make sense of the manual!   I felt vindicated.  But what now, my brake lights still don’t work.   I call a dealership and they tell us what fuse to check.  No luck at all.  So I am taking my car to the mechanic today and no I used another car that had brake lights today!

Today on the morning show Food trends, Politics and a disturbing trend.

Stupid news:  In Salt Lake one good crime deserves another and controversy at the Miss Bum Bum contest

 

Laff Lines: BEING A KID

A cartoon Tooth Fairy man in a tutu.

OH NO – ELECTION NIGHT COVERAGE IS ON

A famous Jeff Foxworthy joke talks about Presidential speeches and it could also apply to tonight.  To paraphrase.

‘ELECTION NIGHT COVERAGE—IT’S ON EVERY CHANNEL!  WE’RE GOING TO MISS FLIPPER”

As a kid I dreaded election night coverage because we only had 3 channels of TV (4 if you count PBS) and with all the regular programing preempting, it was not a fun night for little Dave.   I might as well do my homework was my main thought, but then I would get distracted and would forget to do the homework.

But thanks to technology if you don’t want to watch all the constant coverage and what this so called expert thinks about results over and over and over and over and over again.  YOU DON’T HAVE TO WATCH!

I wasn’t always anti-election night coverage.  I was watching when after winning the California primary Bobby Kennedy was killed.

In college I was working at the college radio station just learning my craft and we had extensive coverage.   My guy lost and a supporter of the other guy was relentless in rubbing it in.

I did work in the news reporting area for quite a few years and my most memorable night of coverage was a Presidential election year and the county I was in was THE LAST TO REPORT THERE RESULT!  We did not finish till about 5 am and I had to be at the radio station at 6am. The process was taking so long that the county sheriff went to a 24 hour store and brought everyone snacks. All the election officials even went to breakfast together before going home.   NOT ME I HAD TO GET TO WORK!

Over the years my interest in the political process has been tainted by negative ad campaigns and social media members belittling others for views opposite of their own.

So tonight the blue ray player will be in use and I will wait until all the results are in.  Then avoid all the so called experts who will be trying how I should feel about the results.

I guess you could say I still vote but the immediate aftermath doesn’t interest me.  It is the long term results that matter to me.

Today on the morning show.  Thanksgiving in a can

Stupid news: Cheese, Garbage and McDonalds

Laff lines:  How Marriage changes men

VOTE!

I really do not like the way our political campaigns are going.  The negative political ads have gotten out of control.  I wonder when some politician will stand up and say “No attack ads”.   I don’t think it will happen because as much as people complain about the attack, negative ads appear to work.   That makes me sad for the future.

Despite this I encourage you to vote!  Why?  I believe it is your duty as a citizen of this country to do so.  You might not think your vote counts but it does.  Your opinion matters.

Think on this, the changes in state laws, tax raises and more can swing on your vote.  One vote added to the other votes makes your vote matter.   An election is only successful to you if you vote your opinion.  Win or lose you make your voice known.

A great example of this is happening here in Utah now.  The medical marijuana debate started as a grass roots effort.   I will not write my opinion on this subject because that is not the issue here.  The issue is that a few people got together and have got us all to make our own opinions know through voting.  That is how this nation should work.

Your thoughts are probably different than mine on several issues and I think that is KOOL.  The thought that we should agree on everything is counterproductive to our society.  The debate of ideas is healthy only when each side presents facts to support its side.   The main problem is today that the debate gets to personal and can lead to the attack ads and personal attacks that are so prevalent today.    I don’t know if things will ever change, and social media doesn’t help.

I ask you to please temper your responses to things that people who post things that might differ from your opinion.  That doesn’t mean you can’t disagree with someone, just don’t be a jerk about it.

So vote, if you agree with me on issues or disagree with me on issues VOTE VOTE VOTE.

It is that important to me.

Today on the morning show does music change the taste of cheese?

Stupid news an Actor, The Eagles, a chemistry experiment and a singing 3 year old.

Laff lines—You might be a redneck

THESE PRETZELS ARE MAKING ME THRISTY!

Halloween night my wife and I went to a Trunk or Treat and saw a lot of friends there.  I went over to talk to a man I know and as I was leaving he handed me a Halloween treat, a small bag of pretzels.  However instead of saying “Thank You” I said “These pretzels are making me thirsty!”  I was expecting a big laugh but all I got was a glazed over look and crickets sounds!   Then I heard a laugh a few feet away, another friend who shares my love of Seinfeld.

Pretzel man had no idea what I was saying he never liked Seinfeld!  Later I saw a family passing our candy with the mom and dad dressed as Pirates and to get candy you had to walk the plank about an inch off the ground over a blue tarp with shark fins to the side.   I said “The sea was angry that day my friends”.  No glazed over look, no crickets just laughter.   These people watch Seinfeld.

Yesterday I was thinking about this and I came to conclusion that there are certain movie and T.V. show quotes I use all the time.   TV shows like Seinfeld, Lavern and Shirley, the Big Bang theory, Andy Griffin and more.  Movies like Animal house, the jerk, Star Wars, Batman and more.  I think we all do this so here is a list of some of the best

— “Nip it!” (Barney Fife, “The Andy Griffith Show”) – “Yeah, that’s the ticket” (Jon Lovitz as the pathological liar, “Saturday Night Live”)– “I’m Larry, this is my brother Darryl …” (Larry, “Newhart”)– “I love it when a plan comes together” (Hannibal, “The A-Team”) — “This is the city …” (Sgt. Joe Friday, “Dragnet”)– “Time to make the donuts” (“Dunkin’ Donuts” ad) — “Mom always liked you best” (Tommy Smothers, “The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour”) — “You eeeediot!” (Ren, “Ren & Stimpy”) — “Bam!” (Emeril Lagasse, “Emeril Live”) — “I know nothing!” (Sgt. Schultz, “Hogan’s Heroes”) – “Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!” (Jan, “The Brady Bunch”) — “Good night, John Boy” (“The Waltons”) – “Schwing!” (Mike Myers and Dana Carvey as Wayne and Garth, “Saturday Night Live”) — “Pardon me, would you have any Grey Poupon?” (Grey Poupon ad) — “Makin’ whoopie” (Bob Eubanks, “The Newlywed Game”)
— “Gee, Mrs. Cleaver …” (Eddie Haskell, “Leave it to Beaver”) — “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing” (Alka Seltzer ad) — “We’ve got a really big show!” (Ed Sullivan, “The Ed Sullivan Show”) — “Do you believe in miracles?” (Al Michaels, 1980 Winter Olympics) — “Don’t make me angry …” (David Banner, “The Incredible Hulk”)– “Holy ____________, Batman!” (Robin, “Batman”) — “What you see is what you get!” (Geraldine, “The Flip Wilson Show”) — “You rang?” (Lurch, “The Addams Family”) — “Danger, Will Robinson” (Robot, “Lost in Space”) — “How YOU doin’?” (Joey Tribbiani, “Friends”) — “Is that your final answer?” (Regis Philbin, “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire”) — “You look mahvelous!” (Billy Crystal as Fernando, “Saturday Night Live”) — “Good night, and good luck” (Edward R. Murrow, “See It Now”)– “Stifle!” (Archie Bunker, “All in the Family”) — “Would you believe?” (Maxwell Smart, “Get Smart”) — “Sock it to me” (“Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In”) — “…if it weren’t for you meddling kids! (The bad guy, “Scooby Doo, Where Are You?”) — “Well, isn’t that special?” (Dana Carvey as the Church Lady, “Saturday Night Live”) — “Oh, my God! They killed Kenny!” (Stan and Kyle, “South Park”) — “No soup for you!” (The Soup Nazi, “Seinfeld”) — “Whassup?” (Budweiser ad) — “De plane! De plane!” (Tattoo, “Fantasy Island”) — “Live long and prosper” (Spock, “Star Trek” — “Come on down!” (Johnny Olson, “The Price is Right”) — “Let’s get ready to rumble!” (Michael Buffer, various sports events) — “Good grief” (Charlie Brown, “Peanuts” specials) — — “Yada, yada, yada” (“Seinfeld”) — “Book ’em, Danno” (Steve McGarrett, “Hawaii Five-O”)– “We are two wild and crazy guys!” (Steve Martin and Dan Aykroyd as Czech playboys, “Saturday Night Live”) — “Aaay” (Fonzie, “Happy Days”) — “I’m not a crook …” (Richard Nixon) — “Yabba dabba do!” (Fred Flintstone, “The Flintstones”) — “Whatchoo talkin’ ’bout, Willis?” (Arnold Drummond, “Diff’rent Strokes”) — “Where’s the beef?” (Wendy’s ad) — “D’oh!” (Homer Simpson, “The Simpsons”)

Movie quotes

Frankly my dear, I don’t give a dame—Gone with the Wind— I’ve got a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore—Gone with the wind –May the force be with you- Star Wars—You talking to me – Taxi Driver—What we’ve got here is a failure to com—Network—Bond James Bond—007 –No place like home—Wizard of Oz—You can’t handle the truth—A few good men—I’ll have what she’s having _ When harry met Sally –We don’t need no stinking badges –The Treasure of Serra Madre—Show me the money – Jerry Mc Gwire – Toga Toga –Animal House–  Can we Dance wiit your dates—Over , nothing is over until we decide it its—Animal house.  I don’t nothing else—– I need this – The Jerk !  It’s a Profit deal—The Jerk

    As you can read there are Hundreds if not thousands of Quotes we use in our everyday lives.  I will add one more that has religious overtones.  It comes from The Little Rascals “Devil if you are behind me don’t push”

 

Today on the morning show: Bohemian Rhapsody

Stupid news:  Educators not using the brain they were given, and that lady ain’t wearing pants

Laff line: time change

 

 

COOKING DINNER I CAN DO THAT? AND FACIAL HAIR– NOT IN THE FOOD!

“SEE MY BEARD AIN’T IT WEIRD” George Carlin

This is Mowvember a month where men are encouraged to not shave in an effort to raise awareness for Cancer Research.

As I was growing up I always wanted to grow a beard.  I had several attempts in my younger years.   One of my beards got real bushy and friends called me Bigfoot.

My Mom wasn’t fond of the bread so one day when I was visiting I decided to make my Mom happy and I Shaved it off.   I sat with her in the Living room for almost 30 minutes before she noticed.

My Grandmother was a little more active in her dislike of my beard.  She took her hand and grabbed a handful twisted and said “SHAVE THAT THING OFF”   We had a good laugh at that. (I didn’t shave it)

So here it is 2018 and yes I have facial hair.  My wife loves is and has never seen me clean shaven.

On Christmas Eve of 1982 I decided to grow a beard and have had some sort ever since.  In various styles.  Close cropped, trimmed nicely, long bushy beards, Goatee’s, a whaler’s moustache were I shaved my chin, and about 8 years ago I had the Batman symbol trimmed around my mouth for Halloween.  Today I am growing a full beard!  Not bushy ………yet.

Now onto cooking.  Today is men cook dinner day!   The best thing I make is reservations!   No I can cook just not really well.

As a kid I learned how to make No Bake cookies and Brownies and would send them with my Mom for her co-workers.

It is not that I can’t cook, I can but I can cook only for me.  When I cook I tend to use a lot of Garlic and onions and of course bacon.

So on this Men cook dinner day I can make my special spam and eggs for my wife or her favorite TAKE OUT!

Today on the morning show, Halloween, November and making bank after you are dead

Stupid news Soap, A drunk and KFC

Laff lines Dating

 

A cartoon Tooth Fairy man in a tutu.

 

BOO

BOO!  Did I scare ya?

How about this I have on the costume that would even scare Freddy Kruger.  Today I dress as “A POLITICAL CANDIDATE”

Sorry to give you such a jolt but it is Halloween you know.

  • On a more serious side today is also a day that can be a little dangerous so here are some tips from   Jama Pediatrics and CNN
  • A new study this week found you’re 43% more likely to get hit and killed by a car on Halloween.  And obviously kids are the most vulnerable demographic.
  • Children between 4 and 8 are FIVE TIMES more likely to get hit on Halloween.  And previous studies have found the most dangerous time is between 6:00 and 7:00 PM.

Here are three tips to help make sure you have a safe night . . .

  • Make sure drivers can see you.  Glow sticks and flashlight are always a good idea.  And so is reflective tape, especially if your kid’s costume is a dark color.

Watch out for drunk drivers.  A government study found they cause about 14% of all casualties associated with people being hit by cars on Halloween.  (Dave:  Hey if you have to drink while the kids are out take some advice DON’T.  I want you to have a good time, but do you really think drinking while all these kids are out is a smart idea?  If you imbibe don’t drive!)

  • Make sure your kid’s costume doesn’t make it too hard to walk, and make sure they can see through their mask.  Trips and falls are the second most-common type of injury associated with Halloween.  Cutting yourself while carving a pumpkin is #1.

Parents also take the time to inspect all your kids Halloween candy.  With all the craziness in the world don’t give some idiot the sick twisted satisfaction of hurting someone.

One Halloween story for you, well kind of Halloween.   While I was growing up a Memphis TV station ran a Movie show showing the old B horror flicks the Host was a man dressed as a Vampire is name was Sivad.   He ran a movie theater in Arkansas and his last name was Davis or backwards Sivad!

Have a great Halloween from the Ghoul of KOOL

Today on the morning show: Watching sitcoms and cartoons can be educational.

Stupid news: A car thief and a possible bomb in North Carolina

Laff Lines Candy Corn