ALARM CLOCKS ARE EVIL

Wake up clock. Vector cartoon alarm clock funny illustration, waking explosion alarm clock

Yes I still use an alarm clock to wake up in the morning.  I know technology has people using the alarm on their phones or asking for a wake up from smart speakers like “Alexa”

MORE ON ALEXA COMING UP!

Over the years I have had a love hate relationship with the alarm clock.  I have used the wind up type with the clapper ringing the bell when it is time to wake up.   I think I might have used a hammer on that one.

Electric alarm clocks with the radio were great, one problem for me was I love radio and would just go back to sleep.   Then I set the buzzer alarm.  As a famous rapper sang ‘HAMMER TIME”

I had a wind up alarm that I used for a while when I was in high school but watching Monday night football while winding the clock not a good idea.  It was a Charger and Cardinal game.  As I was winding the Chargers hit a long last second field goal to win the game.   When my Cardinals lost I kind of lost it myself and smashed it on the nightstand   one problem with that the glass shattered and I cut my hand pretty bad.   I learned my lesson.  Hammers are better than smashing with my hands

That brings us to this morning, I have not been feeling well the last few days so I went to bed early and sleep for about 9 hours.  Then it happened

4:15 AM AND THE ALARM GOES OFF!

I shouted “HOLY *&^% WHAT WAS THAT?”  To be honest I didn’t use a swear word (that surprises me as much as you)

So what about using Alexa.  I am not that smart to use a smart speaker at my home and events of this week have me thinking twice about having a smart speaker.

Bloomberg reported that Amazon has thousands of employees listening to your home and office conversations.

Why?

One reason given was to have gaps in the smart speaker understanding of human speech

YEAH RIGHT!

That might be the reason it began.  But did they consider human nature?  NOPE some employees were quoted as saying they had recorded private conversations and use them to entertain others.   Those recording included a couple doing what couple do.

So now you understand why I do not use a Smart Speaker in my home.   Until they can assure me that no one is SPYING on me in my home.  I will not be Smart and will be very happy to be DUMB in my home,

 

Today on the show:   Stupid 911 calls

Stupid news: A home owner stops a police chase and a man with an amazing talent in Great Brittan.

Laff lines Bing watching

WHY SO SHORT

I must be honest here.  Today’s blog post will be short.  I just don’t feel well.    I have not felt well the past few days.

When I turn down food you know I am sick and last night at dinner I about 1/3 f my dinner then went to sleep for an hour.

That didn’t stop me from having some Ice Cream later.  I might be sick but it was Chocolate.

Dr’s appointment on Wednesday

Stupid news: car goes fast and the luckiest stupid man on the planet

Laff lines: George Carling ‘Save the planet

LIFE IS ABOUT CHOICES

Saturday I had one of those choices to make.

I need to mail an item at the Post Office and also need to buy stamps.  When the clerk asked what kind of stamps I wanted?  I almost said “I don’t care” but then I looked to my right and saw the little display of the different stamps available.

Oh boy I had a tough choice to make.

First thing I saw was an Elvis stamp, and being born and raised in Memphis I was saying to myself support your home town!

Beside that my cousin Brenda would hunt me down for not choosing Elvis.  Well Brenda start your hunt! I didn’t chose Elvis but dang I love the King!

Then I notice John Lennon.  The Beatles, I play the Beatles every day and it’s John Lennon.  Besides that my other cousin Randal and one of my best friends Ken would hunt me down if I didn’t chose John Lennon.  Well now I have 3 people hunting me down.

What did I choose?   Well before I tell you let me explain.  I grew up loving all forms of music.  Elvis, John, Roy Orbison, Ricky Nelson, Bachman Turner Overdrive Grand Funk, Earth Wind and Fire, Fleetwood Mac.  Heck I even enjoyed some country.  Conway Twitty, the Sattler Brothers and Ronnie Millsap.

But I would say that the music that really was my favorite growing up.   Motown and classic R and B.  Otis Redding, Sam Cooke, The Temptations, The Four Tops and as I get a little older Marvin Gaye!   As a singer, he was so good at putting emotion into his songs.  Then as a songwriter do you get much better than Mercy, Mercy Me.

I would have been happy with choosing Elvis, or John Lennon but on Saturday morning I had just heard “Ain’t no Mt high enough” Marvin and Tammy and I just had to choose.

Marvin Gaye:

Now if Batman would have been a choice we might have another blog post today.  But I have a book of Batman Stamps framed at my house.

T

Today is Monday and we are here to help

On the morning show we had news from Madonna, Tiger a Netflix

Stupid news Relationship advice and stealing 300 thousand dollars for what.

Laff lines being engaged

 

SONGS THAT MAKE ME LAUGH

Crossing the Highway late last night should have looked left and should have looked right ….

He gave his life for tourism….

Don’t look Ethel …

I can’t wait to look in the mirror I get better looking each day.

Thank you duck for getting down.

What in the name of the 45rmp record is this all about?

Novelty songs.

Here is the great Dick Clark

 

Some of my favorites are

Disco Duck:  Rick Dee’s and his cast of idiots.  I grew up listening to Rick on WMPS in Memphis and by the time the DUCK hit I was at Ricks College.  A friend of mine also from Memphis even called the Radio Station from her apartment in Rexburg and Rick put her on the air live form Rexburg.   That is a novelty

Gimme dat Ding: The Pipkins,   Any song that starts with “Dat’s right, Dat’s right on a Saturday night” makes me want to sing along so ‘GIMME DAT DING”

My Girl Bill-  Jim Stafford;  The lyrics are crafted so well you are not sure if Jim is trying to tell Bill to leave his girl alone or if he is calling his girl a pet name “Bill”

The Curly Shuffle- Jumpin the Saddle:   NUK NUK NUK!  It’s a song about the Stooges NUFF SAID OR I WILL TURN ALL MOE ON YOUR HEAD!

MY Ding a Ling – Chuck Berry.  I know, I know, I know what you are saying ‘SHAME ON YOU, I’M GONNA TELL YOUR MAMMA ON YOU’ But I don’t care cause when I get home ___________>fill in the blank

Now it’s is video time:

Dead skunk in the middle of the road: Loudon Wainwrights the Third:

I just love the line “COME ON STINK”

Trivia time :  if you are fan of M.A.S.H. ( the TV show) on the 1st episode has a man singing in the hills that man is the same man who gave us the line “COME ON STINK’

The Streak Ray Stevens:  Here he comes right out of the grandstand dribbling. Funny song, still makes me laugh.

I got to meet Ray Stevens at a concert in Missouri and off stage he was a very quiet recovered man but on stage he became a wild man.

King Tut: Steve Martin

 

I went to a Carpenters concert at Ricks College and who was the opening act a man with an arrow through his head and worked with balloon animals all the while playing a banjo.   This was just a few weeks before Steve hosted his first Saturday night live show.

I remember a lot of people in the audience didn’t quite get his jokes.  I did , I think I was the only person at the show that busted up laughing when Martin  was making his balloon animals and made a hat and said as he placed it on his head ‘THIS IS A BIRTH CONTROL DEVICE… WEAR THIS TO BED AND NOBODY WILL TOUCH YOU’

It’s Hard to be humble – Mac Davis.

I think I could have wrote this song, because “It’s Hard to be humble when you’re perfect in every way”

That song did inspire me a little to come up with a Pro Wrestling catch phrase about me.

I AM TOO HOT TO HANDEL… TO COLD TO HOLD…. TO FAT TO BE WHERE IT IS AT….  THE WOMEN’S PET AND THE MEN’S REGRET.   I CAN’T FLOAT LIKE A BUTTERFLY… I CAN’T STING LIKE A BEE …. BUT I HIT LIKE MAUHAMID ALI

(CREDIT MUST GO TO THE MANY WRESTLERS WHO I HAVE WATCHED OVER THE YEARS THIS IS A COMBO OF SOME OF MY FAVORITES)

Yes it is hard to be humble, just ask me

I think my favorite might have to be this.

No explanation needed

I love novelty songs they make me laugh and as you can see bring back some great memories

Today on the morning show we celebrated CHEESE.  The birthday of a man who gave us a Novelty hit.

Stupid news:  Charlton Hesston was right and a criminal who just never had a chance because of his name

Laff lines:  Turning 50

 

 

I DID NOT NAME MY DOG! But I loved her

This is a story of a boy and his dog.

As I told you yesterday on National Siblings day that I grew up with four sisters.   I was the youngest and I knew I should not say four OLDER sisters or I would be in trouble.

But today is National Pet day so I am taking the opportunity to write about my pet dog.  My dog was an adorable terrier mix that I spent hours and hours of my life with.  My dog was always happy to see me and always looking at me with those doggy eyes begging for people food.

My do was family. My dog was named PRECIOUS, yes precious.  What kind of name is that for a dog?   I was in my teens and had to tell my friends my dogs name was precious.   Let the laugher begin.

How did Precious come into my life.  My sisters of course!  When I was about 10 on a Saturday morning, my sisters brought home a puppy and the story goes that as they were bringing her home one of the sisters said “Oh she is so precious” I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!

As the years went on my sisters left home to get on the business of life but I was still at home in school with a dog named Precious.

But that is OK with me, because I loved that dog.  She would jump on the couch with me, jump into the bed with me and try to get into certain rooms where nature was calling and I didn’t want precious around.

When I turned 18 I left home for college and my mom said Precious was never the same.   When I came home for Christmas Precious followed me everywhere, well almost everywhere.  Certain rooms where still off limits

But Christmas break was only a couple of weeks and I had to go back to school.

While at school that spring semester I got the call that the vet had put Precious to sleep.  My dog, My Friend was gone.

Pets become family to us and when they are gone we miss them and we grieve for them.

So today I dedicate my blog to the dog that I did not name but loved just the same PRECIOUS

 

Today we had Amazing Pet facts

Stupid news: An Army of turtles and why someone is leaving mashed potatoes everywhere.

Laff Lines   Dog’s vs Cat’s

 

SISTER’S SISTERS BOY DO I HAVE A BUNCH OF SISTERS

 

Today is National Sibling’s day.

The original idea to have a Siblings day was to honor brothers and sisters who passed away at a very young age.  I have a brother who I never knew who died shortly after birth.  Sammy was a twin to my Sister Sandra who now lives in California.

Buzzfeed.com had some interesting things about siblings.

19 percent of us say that they are completely different than there siblings

10 percent say they are best friends with their siblings

5 percent say they have shared clothes or still share clothes with their siblings.

5 percent say they love to hang out with their bothers and sisters

Here is one stat that should surprise no one:

8 percent of those surveyed say they have fought a sibling and that fight drew blood…

As I always say ‘FAMLIES —- ARE YOU SURE THEY HAVE TO BE FOREVER”

We love like family but we fight like family.  Why?

We as brothers and sisters see every flaw a sibling has, and since we spend so much time together those flaws that we see and others might not are magnified.  That leads to contention and sometimes fights.

Of course if you asked my sisters they would tell you that I David Louis Denton never irritated them while growing up.  I was and still am the perfect brother!!!!  At least in my eyes.

So let me tell you a little something about my family.

As you probably know, our father passed away when I was just four years old.  Leaving my mother with my four older sisters and one 4 year old brat I mean boy to raise on her own.

I think she did an awesome job on that front.

On this Siblings day here are some memories of my sisters.

Bettye:  the oldest in our family who married while I was very young so I really didn’t get to know her very well until I was 16 and went to stay with her family in Santa Clara California for over a month.

I guess Bettye felt a little protective of her little brother because during that summer I went to church with her and there were some girls there who started to flirt with me.  Now I was 16 but I was a big kid who looked a little older.  It turned out that the girls where college students and they were inviting me to parties and a chance to hang out with them… 16 year old me OH YEAH”

About that time my sister Bettye over heard my conversation and stepped in and said this word for word, ‘YOU KNOW MY BROTHER IS ONLY 16’ my summer with college girls was over!

Gee thanks sis!

My sister has since passed away and I have one quick memory.

She had come back to Memphis in between my fist two years of college and severely injured her ankle.  Dr’s.  Would not let her travel until she had healed form a difficult surgery.  I got to spend a lot of time with her during that summer.

One day watching TV a commercial for a Forever Yours candy bar came on and she made a comment about how good it looked.  So I bought her one and brought it home the next day.  Her delight in tasting that treat still brings a tear to my eye.

EDWINA:

Oh the stories I could tell about her.  Beautiful, artistic, a great singing voice, and funny.  I think of all my sisters I am probably more like her than the others.

Edwina loved to sing and she would make us younger kids sing with her.   I remember many times listening to records and we would have to sing and dance along.   I epically remember us singing “STOP IN THE NAME OF LOVE’ she was Diana Ross and I was a Supreme!

Edwina would always call me “David Earl what a pearl’ I don’t know where she got Earl from,

SANDRA

The care giver of our family, after dad died and Bettye and Edwina had grown up.  It was Sandra who made sure that my sister Judy and I were taken care of.  She was a good cook so we let her cook.

Sandra had this one thing about her that as a family we still joke about to this day.   Remember we grew up in Memphis TN.  It did not snow very often there but when it did Sandra was concerned that we might run out of food.  I remember one snow storm she walked on some very icy conditions to make sure we had the staples in case we were snowed in.

The best part of being snowed in, was Sandra cooking up a big pot of Pinto beans and corn bread.  Now I don’t like corn bread but every winter that first snow fall I crave beans.

So here I sit on April 10th in Logan Utah and it is snowing outside. I want some beans.

JUDY:

3 years older than I am, Judy and I spent a lot of time together growing up.  Judy always got good grades in school and would always talk of her desire to be a teacher when she grew up.    WHICH SHE DID!

When she would come home with her report card I was always  a little proud of her getting all of those A’s and a lot jealous of her getting all those A’s!

Our mother worked a 3 to 11 shift at the hospital so she rarely got to bed before 1 am.   So I took advantage of that fact and made Judy wait until just before we left for school when we would wake up mom to sign the card on the back to show she knew our grades.   Somehow Mom always found out later that my grades were at best pretty bad.   I still blame Judy for that!

Oh, I am bitter.  LOL

Mom always made sure we did some family things and I remember once that one of the ice shows came to town and Judy always and still does  love watching ice skating.  I think the name of the show was “Holiday on Ice” and Mom got us tickets.   Judy was in heaven and I was in well……… the other place.  I was such a jerk that night so today I say to Judy, SORRY but I still don’t like watching that stuff.

We didn’t have a lot growing up but honestly I didn’t know any better because my sisters and I had fun.  There were good times and bad times.  Even fighting times, Tornado’s waking us up at night with sirens lighting and that loudest thunder you can imagine.

One night in April 4th of 1968 Sandra, Judy and I spent a night as scared as I have ever been.  It was the night Dr. Martin Luther King Jr was murdered.

Sandra’s boyfriend was at the house and the radio was on and I still remember the DJ making the announcement that The National Guard was to report and that it was not a drill and her boyfriend running out of our home to report.  It was a few minutes later the news came on about Dr. King.

My sisters and I were at home alone, Mom was at work at Baptist Memorial Hospital near where most of the unrest and violence was happening.  Mom called to let us know that the police were not letting the nurses to come home by themselves and she would be home when she could.

We spent the night listening to the reports of riots and civil unrest happening all over Memphis.  Luckily none of the violence made it to our neighborhood.  But the image of looking out my bedroom window seeing  a truck load of troops rifles at the ready patrolling our street is one that I will never forget along with the three of us at the dining room table trying to plan a way to protect ourselves and our home.   We were alone but if someone would have tried something that night I firmly believe they would have been surprised with what we had planned.

The years and miles separate our family now and it is difficult for us to be together. But Families are Forever! .

Happy Siblings Day!

Today on the morning show.  The eww factor and a great birthday story for a 9 year old.

Stupid news: a Florida man is caught stealing and NBC gives stupid money saving advice.

Laff Lines Talent shows

 

SOCIAL MEDIA WOES

Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat and more.  Has the growth of social media stopped?  Maybe, I am not saying that social media will ever go away but it has become a monster that is destroying itself.

Several years ago I reluctantly joined Facebook and I loved it.  I got in touch with friends I had not heard from in years.  I found seeing post of the things my friends were doing and the highs and lows of life so much fun!  I like a lot of you were hooked.

Then it happened.  Somehow social media was overrun with people who had to make negative comments about everything.  Politics is the worst!

I have said on this blog several times that we are in danger of losing one of our basic human rights.   THE RIGHT TO DISAGREE!  Think about, you share your opinion on a subject and someone decides that you are the biggest moron on the face of the planet and because of keyboard bravery they feel they can call you every name in the book just to hurt your feelings and to belittle your opinion.   I know it has happened to me.  Just because I disagreed with someone on a political issue I was objected to  ridicule by one person and that led to friends of mine trying to defend my honor and more and more people involved and it all led to fractured relationship and the act of defriending someone.

Why, because we disagreed.   You might want to know at no time while this happened did I every resort to belittling and name calling.  I tried to make fun of the situation and make my former friend know that I respected his view but we disagreed on this matter.   What a shame, this happened almost 2 years ago and we are still not in touch with each other.  I guess we were not that good of friends after all.

Before I get to negative on social media I will say I do have friends that I can disagree with and that friendship has not been hurt at all.

I have no problem with someone has a different opinion than I do.  I think that is helpful in many ways.   As long as we treat each other with respect I have no problem with a different opinion than mine.

I am so tired of all the negative comments on both sides of the political spectrum that 99% of the time I see a political post I ignore it.  I just don’t care for the arguments and the name calling.

Why did this blog come about because of this from NBC news? Which had this headline

82% of Us Agree Social Media Is a Huge Waste of Time

  Social media has dominated the last 15 years of our life.  But has it made our lives better?  Well, according to a new “Wall Street Journal” poll, the majority of us aren’t sure it has.

Here are some fresh stats about our ongoing relationship with social media . . .

  1. Six in 10 Americans don’t trust Facebook to protect their personal information.  And only 6% said they trust it “a lot” or “quite a bit.”
  2. 57% of us think sites like Facebook and Twitter do more to divide our country than unite it.
  3. 55% think social media helps spread lies and falsehoods more than educate us against misinformation.  And 61% think it also helps spread unfair attacks and rumors.
  4. And 82% of us admit social media is a huge TIME-WASTER in general.

But despite all that, 69% of people in the poll said they still check social media at least once a day.  Although 42% of us have tried to limit our social media use in the last two years.

I really hope that people will smarten up and start to use social media for what it should be.  A way to stay in touch and to reconnect with friends and family.

So if you are a friend of mine of social media know this.  I love seeing pictures of your trips, your meals at restaurants, you kids, your pets.   I also grieve with you when life takes a turn for the worse.

To me that is why I joined social media and the reason I stay on social media.   So if you are one of those that feels like you have to express your opinion on every issuer out there, even the ones you know nothing about I hope you don’t get offended if I just ignore you for a while.   Oh by the way feel free to ignore me too.

 

Today Ajay Salveson was back to talk The NCAA and to gloat about his Parfait win!

Stupid news:  A tap dancing cop.

Laff lines:  Going to spin class

THE PROBLEMS WITH WEEKENDS

I had such a great weekend but weekends become Monday’s and today that is not a good thing.  Not a bad thing but bad enough.

As you know I was looking forward to WrestleMania and it didn’t disappoint at all but I will reserve my thoughts on Mania for the Turnbuckle Trash podcast later this week

So here it is Monday and I need a few days off to recover from my weekend.    I spent Saturday morning doing things around the house nothing too bad but I had stayed up late on Friday and got up early.  The same thing on Sunday.

I should have realized that mania would run late and it did.  I had to take a guest home after and didn’t get to sleep until midnight.

So that is how Monday’s happen too little sleep and planning knowing I had to work on Monday. I am sluggish and tired and have a headache.  Man that kind of sounds like I am HUNGOVER.  One problem with that is I don’t drink alcohol!   So let’s say that I have a too much fun too little sleep weekend hangover.

THAT’S THE PROBLEMS WITH WEEKENDS.

That and the fact I am not a young as I used to be, but I am as stupid!

Today on the morning show Ajay Salveson from The Fan joined us to update the NCAA championship game, and parfaits.

 

We learned how to cook the perfect crispy Bacon

Stupid news from the NCAA, toilet paper and mouthwash.

 

Laff lines:  Patton Oswalt on the Star wars Prequels.

I AM A WRESTLEMANIA MANIAC

As the weekend gets closer you start trying to plan things you might be able to do.  Some weekends you don’t have anything to do so you plan on doing nothing.

WELL NOT THIS WEEKEND!  NOT FOR ME!!!

I have three events happening this weekend

Final four in college basketball, it is one of the great sports events of the year.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, has its General Conference this weekend and being a member of the faith I know I need to watch that.  (I do admit that I struggle staying awake and joking refer to Conference as my Nap Weekend!)

WrestleMania Weekend.   Oh boy, Oh Boy.

I love WrestleMania Weekend each year.  As a lifelong fan I will admit that some of the matches worry me like the Andre the Giant Battle Royal.  The two goofs from SNL against Braun Stroman (a huge man) has potential to be as bad as the Tag Team championship from last year when Stroman won the Championship with a 10 year old boy.  Don’t get me started on that.

But the main event of the night will be history making and could be something to see.  The main event for the first time ever will feature a women’s Triple Threat Match.  Between The Man, Becky Lynch, The Queen (and Smack down live women’s champion) Charlotte Flair and The Badest woman on the Planet Rowdy Rhonda Rousey.

My only complaint is the length of the show.  They will have 17 matches — 17 the show will go on forever and I am worried that when the main event comes up the crowd and myself will be exhausted.

I guess that is why we have snacks!!!!

So my weekend will be jammed packed.  But it will be jammed pack in front of a TV screen or Computer Screen.

One more WrestleMania thought.   Three years ago I had to watch Mania on a tablet in bed.  Why, I had just had a knee replacement and had some complications where my 3 day stay in the Hospital turned into a 2 ½ week stay.

I hope this weekend goes a lot better than that one

Today we were joined by Ajay Salvason from the Fan to take the Final Four and Mania

Those were the days

Stupid news: Sober doesn’t mean what it used to.  Naked Police and Smart underwear.

Laff Lines:   Flying

 

COMFORT FOODS

Here is the understatement of the year.

I LOVE FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But doesn’t it seem to you all the food you love is not good for you?

I must admit that I was a meat and tater man for most of my early years but as I have matured (yeah right) I have branched out to include some foods that just a few years ago I would never let pass my lips.

Food’s like Bok Choy, Arugula, fresh baby Spinach and most recently Kale.   If my sisters are reading this please call 911 because they probably fainted.

NOTICE I DID NOT INCLUDE BRUSSEL SPROTS!!!! YUK

But when it comes to food there is nothing better than Comfort food.  You know the food that when you eat it is like a hug.  Comfort food is the best

Buzzfeed.com has a great list of comfort foods but there are some that I just am not found of.

Buzz feed comfort foods include Pizza, Fried chicken, Pancakes, Chef Boyardee canned foods, Spaghetti and meatballs, Mashed Potatoes.  Grilled Cheese and tomato soup.  Frozen Lasagna and according to Buzzfeed the #1 Comfort food is Mac and Cheese from the box.

Believe it or not there are two foods on the list that I cannot stand to eat.   Chef Boyardee and Mac and cheese.    Even as a kid I would not eat either one.  Strangely enough if you listen to me a lot you know I am not a fan of cheese but I love grilled cheese with tomato soup!

So before I tell you my top comfort food, I will tell you there is a comfort smell.  One I love better than smelling fresh bread in the oven, or a great apple pie.   The best comfort smell to me is sautéed onions in some bacon drippings with fresh garlic.

Here is my sexist statement of the day:  I think I would give my wife anything she wants if she would just put a little behind each ear like perfume.  THE BEST SMELL IN THE WORLD.

I do have a strange comfort food that is not on that list but when I am not feeling well or I am down in the dumps.  I want to take ground beef add onions and garlic cook all that together drain and add Mayo and maybe a touch of Mustard.   I don’t know why but man I love it.

A close second — BACON

Today on the morning show- from the Tonight show Pro wrestlers taking smack written by kids.  And Lunchables

Stupid news Rednecks and bullet proof vest.  We also have a MAYO-CHUP UPDATE.

Laff line: Flying