WHAT TIME DO YOU OPEN YOUR PRESENTS

As I came into the radio station today preparing for the morning show, I came across an article that really brought back some Christmas memories from when I was just a as they say in the south “YOUNGUN”

A new survey found the average kid wakes up at 6:44 A.M. on Christmas.  So expect to be woken up about five seconds after that. Young kids wake up earlier than older kids.  If you’ve only got teenagers in the house, you might make it past 7:00 A.M.  Only 15% of teenagers will wake their parents up earlier than that.

Those little survey result brought back a few Christmas morning memories.

I remember a year that I was so pumped about Christmas that I was ready to open presents at 2 am.  My mother was a nurse and worked until 11pm the previous night and probably only got to sleep about 1AM.   Here is an excited Dave wanting to experience the JOY OF GETTING.

Did I get my way NOOOOOOOO!  Mom made my sisters and I go back to bed.  I sort of go my way I thing I was making so much noise in my room that we opened presents at 3:30 am.

As my wife say’s when I tell her my childhood stories

“YOUR POOR MOMMA!”

Most years Mom would let us open presents about 6am with the tradition of the youngest opening first, which was MEEEEE and the oldest opening last MOM.

Even though I always enjoyed my gifts I remember very few but what I do remember is watching my sisters and my Mother open their gifts.

When it came to my sister Sandra we would make bets on which gift would make her cry.   The year Mom got her a hope chest her tears could have filled Bear Lake!

Over the years I have spent a lot of Christmas mornings working because I was single and a long way from home and wanted my Co-workers time to be with their family.

But don’t think for a moment that my Christmas spirits were down on Christmas morning.  NOPE – I had my memories and I always won the bet on which present that would make Sandra cry!   I bet when Sandra reads this there will be tears because I have a few in my eyes right now.

Merry Christmas

Stupid news – Wreaths and Pigs

Laff lines – Christmas Carolers

 

 

 

I FAILED A CLASS AT COLLEGE BECAUSE OF PENNY MARSHALL

PENNY MARSHALL HELPED ME FAIL A CLASS IN COLLEGE.

I was so sad to hear that Penny Marshall passed away on December 18.  I was such a fan of her work.

From the 1st time I saw her on “The Odd Couple” I knew she was a comic genius.   Then when I saw her on an episode of “Happy Days” I was hooked.   That “Happy Days” episode had Penny as Lavern and Cindy Williams as Shirley is a classic and it led to why I failed a class at college.

I loved “Lavern and Shirley” it is my favorite sitcom of all time.  It was full of Slapstick comedy and great writing.  But one of my favorites was of a serious note.   Lavern thought she was pregnant and didn’t know what to do.   Then Lenny comes into the room and askes Lavern to marry him, why because he and Squiggy drew straws to ask Lavern to get married.   Lavern in tears says “And you lost” then Lenny say’s “No, I won’.   A tender scene to say the least.

Then Lenny tells Lavern that his last name “Koslowski, is a proud name … it means HELP THERE IS A HOG IN THE KITCHEN!

You can ask my wife but this did happen after we were engaged I told her my last name Denton meant HELP THERE’S A HOG IN THE KITCHEN”   Yep I am kind of strange.

So how did Penny Marshall help me fail a class at Ricks College….well ABC was running re-runs of Lavern and Shirley at 9am?  I had a Golf class (yes golf) that started at 9:30 and I had to go by the TV room at my dorm to go to the Golf class.  “It wasn’t my fault that I never made it to the class” The instructor did not agree so I failed Golf.   YEP IT WAS PENNY MARSHALL’S FAULT.   You know what I am so glad I failed golf.

There are a lot of tributes for Penny today but I want you to see a scene that shows her talent.   It is a scene when the girls bought “DEAD LAZLO’S PLACE”

I also have a few things in my collection including 3 scripts from the show, a signed cast picture and a LP of Lenny and the Suigtones.

         

      

Thanks for all the laughs and the bad grade too Penny!

More on Penny Marshall

Stupid news:  Secret Santa stupidity and Beast mode fun

 

Laff lines: Holiday thank you notes

TODAY I CELEBRATE A SMALL VICTORY!

 

I have been accused of being an optimist.  OK, I can live with that.  I have bad days and times when things frustrate me to a boiling point. (Example political rants on Facebook)  Life is just too short to dwell the negative.

One of the things I do is look for the small victories of life

I had one just this morning.

Over the past year I have struggled with getting enough sleep.  For various reasons which I won’t bore you with I have at times come to work with little or no sleep overnight.   Some mornings I have struggled to do what I love to do.   One morning it was so bad that my body and mind crashed.

It was about 5:30 am and I had been at the station preparing to go on the air at 6am.  I fell asleep in my chair and try as much as I did I could not stay awake.  I decided that I needed to go home before something bad happened.  I also knew it was not safe to drive so I called my wife to pick me up.  Safely home, I slept for about 21 of the next 24 hours.   I was fine after that mainly.

The sleep struggles continue and the frustration level has risen.  Dr’s appointments led to sleep aids (didn’t work).  Sometimes it is simple things that help.  That help came in one of those sound machines that plays relaxing sounds that calm your nerves.

My wife purchased one over the weekend, I was a skeptic but dang the ocean sounds relaxed me and last night we tried the sounds of rain.

VICTORY!!!!!!!!   BRING ME SOME BACON

For the 1st time in a long time I slept soundly for over 5 hours!    STRAIGHT!

That might not sound like a lot to you but over the summer and fall I would average about  4 hours or less in a pattern of  go to bed wake up 45 minutes later stay up for an hour.  Sleep about another hour wake up for 20 minutes to an hour.  This would go on until about 1 am when I would finally get a few hours of deep? Sleep.   I was exhausted and found myself struggling to not nod off at important times.  Like driving!  I will tell you that if I didn’t feel safe behind the wheel I wouldn’t drive.

So today I celebrate a small victory in life.  Better Sleep which I hope will lead to better health.

One of the things I love about Facebook is when my friends share the little victories in life.    I love seeing the pictures of a project completed, a meal prepared by them or at a restaurant.  And yes I love Vacation Pictures.

So please take the time today and celebrate a small victory in your life.  It could be as simple as saying.  HEY I WOKE UP!

I went to a website called the Thought Catalogue. They had a list of small victories we can celebrate

A sunny day… when someone does something nice to you” just because)… Watching children play…. An itch that you can actually reach…. When you learn something new….. A cozy bed on a cold night… A good hair day… When a traffic light turns green just as you arrive…… Scratching something off you’re to do list…. Finally, reaching into your pocket and finding money that you didn’t know you had!

Did I mention that if that happens I should get a finder’s fee!!!!!

Today on the morning show.  A salute to the Houston Rockets James Hardin

Stupid news.  A deer poacher, fish on a plane, and you will not believe what a man in Illinois did when a drug deal went wrong

Laff lines : Having the flu

CAN YOU BE SICK AND STILL HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND….. YEP

It is possible to be sick and still have a really good weekend.

Let me explain.  Last Tuesday morning I started to feel ill and that feeling became a full scale YUKO.  I went to the Doctor and continued to work until Thursday morning when I found myself making silly mistakes and I knew it was time to go home.

Did I let my illness change my weekend plans, YEP, I had planned on a trip to Salt Lake to see my sister who is the process of moving to California.  I had also planned on going to a local resultant with big screen TVs to watch the Aggie game.    NOPE THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN EITHER.

But between naps and felling awful I really had a nice weekend.  One thing I enjoyed was just being home.  Friday night watching “It’s a wonderful life” I cry every time he can’t find Zuzu’s pedals.  Don’t get me stated on Mr. Gower.

As you know I have a strange sense of humor and while watching Live PD something happened that still makes me laugh.  They aired a cell phone video where a man was describing the scene of an apparent accident scene that involved drunk driving.  I WARN YOU THAT THIS IS FUNNY BUT DOES CONTAIN LOTS OF BLEEP CURSE WORDS   I MEAN A LOT.

BUT DANG IF IS NOT FUNNY.

 My wife and I watched the Aggies at home but with takeout food.

More naps more food and just spending time with my wife was really nice.

I thought Sunday morning that I was feeling better and went to church then came home thinking wow I am glad that is over!   Not so fast antibiotic breath.  About 4 pm I started feeling punk again.  It even interfered with my plans to watch the TLC ppv on the WWE network.  I tried but by 5:30pm I was in bed and will have to watch it on the network today.   If I feel up to it.

DANG I HATE BEING SICK

Today on the morning show is it a Hot Dog or a Taco

Stupid News:  City roads cause an accident —- or did they?   Why would a 45 year old man want to join a Frat???

Laff lines —A star for Christmas

 

 

DO FEEL BAD FOR ME — I AM SICK

I am not feeling well and to be honest I probably should not have come in today but I am one of those people who just hates missing work.

So I will keep this blog kind of short.

Since it is the Christmas Season I wanted to share a couple of very strange Holiday song.

One of my favorite shows has been Lavern and Shirley and here is a Holiday gem from Lenny and the SquIgtones.

I laugh every time

There was actually a Star Wars Christmas to show that has supplied lots of memories.  One of the songs seem to be written for me.    I had long hair and a full beard.  At the time I was a night DJ, my on air name was Buford (a nickname that some people still call me by including my wife) and was taking request when a call came in and it was a group of girls who were all friends and they sang to me ‘WHAT TO YOU GET A BUFORD FOR CHRISTMAS, WHEN HE ALREADY OWNS A COMB:

So forgive me. I will now go home turn on the radio (KOOL of course) read a couple of comic books and try to sleep.   Oh yeah eat something.  BRING ON THE BACON!

EXCUSE ME, I ‘M GOING TO INSTA CARE

Isn’t just a little ironic that I went to see the Doctor on Monday afternoon not sick.   Monday night SICK!

Yeah, I just don’t feel good today. That is a problem too.

Part of my job is to help you start your day by playing great music and having trying to help you get at least one smile or laugh in before you have to face the reality of

WORK

I truly love my job or should I say profession but on days like today it is tough.  That is why I mention that I just don’t feel well.  But I did notice one thing being here this morning.  Being on the radio helps me forget that I am sick.  For that I thank you!  Why? Because I know that you know I am just a guy who considers you the listener’s friends.  I always love meeting you and talking to you on the phone.  It is truly one of the great joys of my profession.

On Monday at the Doctors office I was having my hearing checked (GOOD).  The tech who was helping and asking question and it came up that I am on the radio.   He listens every day and said.  I thought I recognized your voice.

I love those times

However there are times that can be a little embarrassing.   Several years ago I had been very ill and had lots of test and while I was having a test ran where I was let’s just say almost NAKED when the tech made the connection and said “Hey are you’re the Dave Denton on the radio’.  Well the last thing I wanted to have happen that day was to be recognized when I have my pants down.

I know I should not have been embarrassed but I was slightly but looking back it was kind of KOOL.

One more medical story.  I had a cyst that had to be lanced, no big deal but it was in a very delicate portion of the anatomy… it was on my butt!  Then the incision didn’t want to heal so I had to go to a wound clinic for several weeks.  One afternoon the Dr asked if some nursing students could take a look and see the measure being taken to heal the wound.

DID I MENTION IT WAS ON MY BUTT!

I told them it was OK so here come the students to look and my ###.  I was KOOL with that, but then there was another group and another.  Well after the 3 time I looked at the Nurse who had been with me the whole time.    “THAT IS ENOUGH, I KNOW YOU ARE ALL PRO’S, BUT I AM NOT I DON’T THINK I WANT ANYONE ELSE COMING IN TO LOOK AT MY ###!”   At that point we both broke up laughing.

Today a world record Christmas Event

Stupid news Booze, a Turkey attack and Christmas tree’s

Laugh Lines :  guys named Todd

So I say Farewell today… but right now I am going to INSTA-CARE

ME- ED AND TOPO GIGO

I recently discovered TV channel called “DECADES” I believe it is on one of the side channels from the Salt Lake T.V.

The channel features shows from my youth I have watched Newhart, Love American Style and some Ed Sullivan.

Last night was kind of strange with a large woman in an evening gown playing a Banjo, she kept trying to get Ed to come over, he did and but he didn’t want to.  The lady threw open her arms as if to hug he and he caught both arms with his hands and wouldn’t let her.  AWKWARD.

The was a magician doing a card trick that had the personality of a dead moth, a comedy duo that died on stage and Rip Taylor a comedic actor I have always enjoyed.

But the highlight  of the night was THE BEATLES signing I want to hold your hand”  I remember watching The BEATLES and getting into it so much I was dancing on the couch and jumping up and down.  MOSLTY DOWN, I fell into the coffee table and my hand went into a glass vase and cut my hand very close to my wrist, I can still see the scars today.

But watching the Ed Sullivan show brought back another memory.  I SAW ED SULLIVAN LIVE.   I was a teenager when it was announced the Ed Sullivan was taking his show on the road and would be at the Mid-South fair in Memphis.

I begged my mom to take me, but she had to work.  I finally convinced her that I could ride the bus safely from our house to the fairgrounds and she finally said OK if????????   I always hated If’s and Buts.   Her if was if I could find someone to go with me.  It took me a few days but finally a neighbor said he would go.  (We had recently moved to the area and I hadn’t made many friends yet)  I wish I could have found someone else.

The day arrived and my companion and I boarded the bus to the Mid-South fair.   This guy was one year younger but about 5 inches taller but man was he a problem.

We get to the fairgrounds and I told him that if he wanted to do things by himself while I went to the show that we would meet up at a location so we could go home together.

I really enjoyed the show but don’t remember much about it except Ed waved at me!   I do remember seeing Sonny James and Loretta Lynn on the show.  But the highlight was Topo GIGO the little puppet that was a regular on the show.

After the show, I went to the designated area and waited, and waited and waited.   I didn’t want to leave in case he showed up, but it was well past the time we were supposed to meet and I started thinking the worst.   I found an officer and told him what was happening and they started announcing on the P.A. system for him to meet me.   It was really getting late and I had a long bus ride in front of me and told the police I needed to leave so I could get safely home.

So I hop on board the city bus and eventually home several hours after I was supposed to.  So I called my mom at work and told her what had happened and she asked me to tell the guys Grandmother, which I did and she freaked out on me. Blaming me for leaving him at the fairgrounds.  It was just about an hour later that Memphis TN. finest brought this kid home.   Apparently he ran around the fairgrounds and lost track of time.   He did hear the PA announcements for him to meet me but ignored them.   Police finally found him after the fairgrounds had closed sitting and crying because he didn’t have any money left and didn’t know how he was going to get home.

Did I feel bad—–NOPE— The whole trip on the bus we talked about what time to meet and where.   He didn’t want to see Ed and I did.  I waited several hours at the location never left, and didn’t get to enjoy the fair.  I was glad he was OK but let’s just say he and I had a meeting of the minds and words were exchanged.   He avoided me the next couple of years until I went to college.

Strange how memories flood back because of Ed Sullivan!

Today on the morning show Steph Curry says we didn’t land on the moon.  I say we did with the help of THE BIG BANG THERORY.

Stupid news: Porch Pirates and a professor says that Kevin in Home alone was a psychopath.

Laff lines: Having a Bulldog

CHRISTMAS SHOPPING

 

I admit it I don’t like shopping, .but hey this time of year finding that perfect gift for someone is kinda KOOL.  I don’t do a lot of our shopping but I do help and I am proud to announce (TRUMPET FAN FARE HERE) we have finished our shopping for Christmas.

My wife and I try to keep our eyes open all year long for most of our gifts  but the results from a new survey  shows the most popular time to shop for Christmas is in November or early December

19% said they do their shopping two or three weeks before Christmas, which is right about now.  We’re just over two weeks away.

Another 19% said they shop throughout the year until mid-November . . . 8% said they do the bulk of their shopping the week before Christmas . . . and 4% did it during the Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales.

1% of us wait until the very last minute, and do all our shopping on Christmas Eve.  There is something to be said about wrapping a fresh Slurpee form 7-11 and slipping it under the tree.

R 1% are all about bargains . . . and wait until AFTER Christmas to buy all their presents.  I admit it I have done that then I usually forget where I put them by the time Christmas rolls around

The Survey said the most purchase Christmas gifts last year were clothes . . . food . . . health and beauty products . . . toys and games . . . and books.

I will tell you this a good gift card is always appreciated. I love gift cards to restaurants.    But as I always say the best gift is CASH.  Money is the right color and size.

Today on the morning show:  A matter of Perspective and a nice story that began during the fires that destroyed Paradise California.

Stupid news: Candy Canes- Shoes and Signs

Laff Lines” Cell phones

I LOVE MANKIND. IT’S STUPID PEOPLE I CAN DO WITHOUT

Disclaimer: This blog is not about politics just stupid politicians

Some of the smartest people I have ever met are the stupidest people I have ever known. (Dave Denton)

I know I am not the smartest person on this planet and I realize that that not everyone thinks about things the same way I do.  But sometimes I just scratch my head at some of the stupidity that some comes out of some peoples mouth.

The past couple of weeks has proven my point.   There are those out there that are searching for ways to be offended by things that just don’t matter.

The Charlie Brown Peanuts Thanksgiving was said to be racist.

Rudolph was bullied.

Baby its cold outside, is about abuse.

Don’t get me wrong.  Those are three very serious problems in our world.  Come on!  Stop looking to be offended!  It takes up to much energy.

Now this.  Peta says phrases like “Bring Home the Bacon” are comparable to racism and homophobia.

Ok PETA you are messing with BACON and that offends me.  So I am offended by you being offended.

That is an example of me being stupid.

So I have found plenty of other stupid statements both from Liberals and Conservatives.   I hope that some of these statements are just mistakes they have made while speaking which is very possible.

Now proving I am an equal opportunity offender

5 stupid quotes from Liberals

Sheryl Crow on Environmentalism: “I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don’t want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.”  DID SHE JUST WATCH THAT SEINFELD EPISODE?

Joe Biden on culturalism: “In Delaware, the largest growth of population is Indian Americans, moving from India. You cannot go to a 7/11 or a Dunkin’ Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent. I’m not joking.”   DANG DUDE THAT IS RACIST!

Joe Biden on the economy: “The number one job facing the middle class, and it happens to be, as Barack says, a three-letter word: jobs. J-O-B-S.”     JOE WENT TO THE SAME MATCH CLASS AS I DID!

. Michael Moore on terrorism: “There is no terrorist threat. Yes, there have been horrific acts of terrorism and, yes, there will be acts of terrorism again. But that doesn’t mean that there’s some kind of massive terrorist threat.”   THAT IS JUST DUMB!

Marion Barry, former mayor of Washington, DC: “If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very very low crime rate.”   SAY WHAT????

Jerry Brown, former governor of California, and current candidate for the same position: “The conventional viewpoint says we need a jobs program and we need to cut welfare. Just the opposite! We need more welfare and fewer jobs.”   WOW –  WOW—WOW I HAVE NO WORDS

Conservatives have been known to take foot and insert it into the mouth

Rush Limbaugh on Nuclear Weapons

”The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them.”   — I HOPE HE WAS JOKEING IF NOT THEN LOOK AT PREVIOUS JERRY BROWN COMMENT

Mitt Romney in Believing in America

”I believe in an America where millions of Americans believe in an America that’s the America millions of Americans believe in. That’s the America I love.”

YOU KNOW WHAT MITT, I BELIEVE YOU

Ann Coulter on Blowing Up the New York Times

”My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times Building.”  I REFER YOU TO MY JERRY BROWN COMMENT

Dan Quayle

“I love California; I practically grew up in Phoenix.”

HIS LOVE OF THE POTATO KEPT HIM OUT OF HIS GEOGRAPHY CLASS

President Richard M Nixon.

“When the President does it that means that it’s not illegal”

I AM NOT A CROOK!

I hope this little blog showed a little something that I learned from Lucy Van Pelt in the Peanuts strip as she talked to Linus.   I think it explains a lot.

“THE QUALITY OF YOUR STUPIDITY IS RISING”

 

Disclaimer:

The comments expressed in this blog are not necessarily those of an intelligent human.

 On todays show Secret Santa idea’s

 

 Stupid news: That is an R.V.  Rats in the machine

 

Laff lines: Weather in California

 

 

 

I LOVE CHRISTMAS MUSIC , BUT I DO GET A LITTLE TIRED OF IT

 Christmas music can be fun.  Christmas can be inspiring.  Christmas music can make you cry.  Christmas music can bring back memories. 

Later in this blog post I will tell you about my favorite Christmas songs and why.

How about some triva about Christmas songs

  1. “All I Want for Christmas Is You” was written in 15 minutes, was originally recorded by Vince Vance and the Valliant’s and Mariah Carey recorded it in August
  2. When Brenda Lee recorded “Rockin’ around the Christmas Tree” in 1958, she was only 13 years old.

“Jingle Bells” is over 150 years old.  It was published in 1857 . . . and was intended to be a THANKSGIVING song, not a Christmas song.

Thurl Ravenscroft sang “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” . . . and was also the voice of Tony the Tiger for over 50 years.

Irving Berlin wrote the song, “White Christmas” . . . and hated Elvis Presley’s version so much, he tried to get it BANNED from the radio.

  1. “Silver Bells” was originally called “Tinkle Bell”.

The writer changed it after his wife mentioned the double-meaning of the word “tinkle.” ( ROFL)

  1. “The Chipmunk Song” is still the only Christmas song to ever hit #1 on the Billboard Hot 100.
  2. “Do You Hear What I Hear?” was written as a call for peace during the Cuban Missile Crisis in 1962.
  3. Eartha Kitt did a follow-up to “Santa Baby” the following year called This Year’s Santa Baby.
  4. Bing Crosby did not want to record Little Drummer Boy / Peace on Earth with David Bowie. But after hearing it he loved it

 

 

When it comes to Christmas music we all have our favorites and some that drive us crazy.  Several years ago KOOL 1039 did a vote on the song “Jingle Bells” and overwhelmingly you said NOOOOOOOO!   We do not play the Barking dogs.  However I recorded some of the comments you made and mixed with the Barking Dogs.   The only place you can hear it is here on Dave’s blog. 

 It is well known I grow tired of Christmas music, but I am not a Bah Humbug kind of guy.  So now a list of my favorite Christmas song

  1. Little St Nick, Dr Teeth and the Electric Mayhem (Muppets) it was part of the John Denver and the Muppets Christmas.  I crack up every time when Animal sings background vocals
  2. Do you hear what I hear, just a beautiful song

8… White Christmas, the Drifters not because of Home alone but it is one of my favorites because of a former Co- Worker.   She could sing really deep and I would chime in with a Falsetto voice.  It was really funny!

  1. Tennessee Christmas, The 1st time I heard this song I was living in Idaho and very homesick and it just hit me that I really missed my family
  2. The 12 pains of Christmas. Face it sometimes the Holidays are a pain.  I laugh every time I hear the man say “One light goes out they all go out”

5 Christmas in Dixie.  Another song that came out while I was so far away from home.  The line about “Graceland all in lights” hit home.  We used to go see Graceland every year,

  1. Celebrate me Home—Kenny Loggins. Not just a favorite Christmas song, but one of my favorite songs of all time.    I saw Kenny in concert and he sang this song in August!
  2. Merry Christmas Darling. Karen Carpenter singing a great song from my favorite Christmas album.  And on top of that I get points from my wife every time I play it!    I need all the points I can get.  I wonder if I will get points for putting this in my blog!
  3. Little Drummer Boy/ Peace on Earth – Bing Crosby and David Bowie. The Harmonies are incredible
  4. O Holy night- it says it all why we celebrate this season in one of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard.

 

So there you go.  By the time Christmas arrives I will be so sick of Christmas music but that doesn’t mean I don’t love it.

On top of that my wife loves Christmas music and I need all the points I can get!

 

Today on the morning show:  Those were the days

 

Stupid news: Go to Jail!  Don’t pass go.  Go Directly to Jail.   Love that Chicken and GET OUT OF THE WAY!  Road Rage.

 

Laff lines; my dream house