COMFORT FOODS

This winter has been a tough for the flu and now with the scary Corona virus we have got to be careful so we don’t get sick. 

But when we do we often turn to comfort food!  That is if you can even eat.  You know the drill …..It goes down and then back up again or it doesn’t stay in your system very long and you wind up not enjoying your go (take that Charmin)

When I am sick I want food…. Not just any food …. I want my comfort food.  Hot soup is fine but my favorite comfort food is kind of simple.  Hamburger meat crumbled with a little seasoning some onion and put it in a bowl with Mayo and a little mustard.  My wife knows the drill.  When I am sick that’s what I want.

That and a box of Little Debbie Snack cakes.  Yes a box!  I said it was comfort food not smart food and I need comfort a lot

Here are the top ten . . .  1.  Grilled cheese sandwiches. (I am not a fan of cheese but grilled cheese is yummy, add Tomato Soup)  2.  Chocolate. Mmmm 3.  Ice cream. My favorite flavor is COLD   4.  Pizza.  It was #1 in a different survey on comfort foods that came out in 2016. I rarely eat pizza   5.  French fries with Fry sauce of course.   6.  Macaroni and cheese… NOPE NOPE NOPE I do not like Mac and Cheese.   7.  Mashed potatoes real ones not the powdered spuds.   8.  Cookies.  Specifically chocolate chip me the no bake cookies   9.  Fried chicken, I can do that 10.  Donuts as Homer Simpson said “Donuts isn’t there anything they can’t do.

So did you favorite comfort food make the list?  If not let me suggest a box of Little Debbie Snack cakes and you will feel better in no time.

There is something going on in space

Stupid new

Laff lines

 

OFF TO SEE THE TAX WIZARD!

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I want you to remember that time you got your very first official pay-check.  You had put in your hours (probably for minimum wage) and now you were anticipating that money burning a hole in your pocket and the chance to go out and buy anything you want!  Then reality lays the SMACKDOWN on your bank account

Federal income tax

State income tax

Social security tax

Medicare tax

Don’t get me wrong I am ok with paying my fair share because of all things those taxes give us.  Now I won’t get into a political tirade but when you add all the other taxes we have to pay it is a wonder any of us can afford the value menu.

So today is one of those days when my wife and I gather all the receipts and tax forms and head off to see the Wizard of taxes.

I know a lot of people do their own taxes but for me I feel better paying a few bucks for a pro to prepare them.

So as I do that slow march into the accountant’s office the feeling of dread builds and the only thing that helps me get through the process is the hope I will hear that one little word that we all hope for

REFUND !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now from the website taxdebthelp.com some funny quotes about taxes

Taxation with representation ain’t so hot either.” – Gerald Barzan

“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?” – Milton Berle

“Its income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta.” – Dave Barry

“The politicians say “we” can’t afford a tax cut. Maybe we can’t afford the politicians.” – Steve Forbes

“Tax day is the day that ordinary Americans send their money to Washington, D.C., and wealthy Americans send their money to the Cayman Islands.” – Jimmy Kimmel

It is a good thing that we do not get as much government as we pay for.” – Will Rogers

“Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what’s called a red flag. That’s something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That’s a red flag.” – Jay Leno

Finally, here is my favorite

“If you get up early, work late, and pay your taxes, you will get ahead — if you strike oil.” – J. Paul Getty

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HAPPY MOMENTS IN MY DAY

 

We have all had one of THOSE DAYS!  Well if you think about it you can turn one of THOSE DAYS into a GREAT DAY.

I often say you can find something to be happy about and sometimes it is something that happens to you every day.  Today I found this article “The Independent” about when we are happy.  (Are my comments)

A survey found 3:25 PM is when we’re the happiest.  And on average, we have eight happy moments on any given day.  Here are the ten happiest moments of the day overall

  1.  Waking up after a great night’s sleep. (That comes on days when I don’t hear the alarm at 4:15 am)
  2.  Eating a great dinner. (OH YEAH)
  3.  The moment you sit down in front of the TV at night. (Maybe eating a great dinner in front of the TV OH YEAH)
  4.  Your boss showing you some appreciation. (Always nice to get a pat on the back)
  5.  Getting home after work. (Snacks help)
  6.  Getting a compliment from someone. (SEE# 4)
  7.  Getting a hug from your child. (Hugs are great)
  8.  Having a late-night snack. (All Snacks are good with a hug too!)
  9.  The moment you take off your work clothes. (They should have said and getting into your comfy clothes, the neighbors might start talking if you just take off your work clothes)
  10.  The moment you take your shoes off after work.  (I have big feet so when I take off my size 14’s it is nice

 

Some of our worst moments of the day including being stuck in traffic, spilling food, and realizing you slept through your alarm. (Or like I did today waking up 7 minutes before the alarm and wanting to go back to sleep but you know if you do when that alarm goes off your heart will skip a few beats)

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PIZZA I AM COMING AROUND

 

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I have never been a Pizza lover but I might be changing my mind a little

Sunday is National Pizza day, and I am sure there will be lots of pepperoni and Canadian bacon consumed with tons of cheese and gallons of sauce

Pizza is just a food item that I don’t care for mainly because I am not a fan of cheese and the red sauce.  But recent events have found me Dave Denton actually eating pizza and kind of liking it.  Now before you order a pie sent to the station just remember,  my pizza comes with a white sauce, chicken and artichokes and of course no offense to a friends to the north I want good old American bacon!

So in honor of National Pizza day here is some pizza eating facts from creditmonkey.com

 On average, Americans down about 3 billion pizzas each and every year. Overall, the U.S. accounts for about one-third of global pizza consumption.

While some folks eat more and some eat less, the typical person takes in 46 slices of pizza per year. That adds up to about 23 pounds of pizza eaten annually.

Men are more likely to eat pizza, accounting for 15% of total consumption, versus 11% for women. Kids between the ages of 2 and 19 prove to be the biggest pizza eaters, with 20% grabbing a slice compared to 11% of adults.

While there are thousands of pizza restaurants to choose from in the U.S., 59% of Americans opt to have theirs at home instead.

  How much frozen pizza is sold each year?
While there’s nothing like going out for a slice or getting delivery, Americans love pulling a hot pizza fresh from their own oven too. Consumers in the U.S. spend roughly $4.4 billion on frozen pizza each year, with DiGiorno generating close to $1.2 billion alone. Approximately 2 out of every 3 households consume frozen pizza regularly.

 How many pizzerias are there in the U.S.?
Altogether, there were just over 71,000 pizzerias operating nationwide in 2013. Independent eateries represent more than 53% of the market, while major brands like Pizza Hut and Domino’s account for a quarter of all sales.


Around 1 in 8 Americans are eating pizza on any given day. Guys between the age of 6 and 19 are twice as likely to chow down on pizza daily compared to other consumers.

Around 59% of adults prefer to have pizza for dinner, while 44% of kids choose it as a lunch option. Eleven percent of adults like to snack on pizza while 2% sometimes have it for breakfast.

Pepperoni is overwhelmingly the most popular choice among 36% of Americans, followed by sausage at 14%. Only 8% prefer their pizza with just cheese only.

Super Bowl Sunday is the most popular day to eat pizza, with pizzerias seeing an average increase of 35% in sales. New Year’s Eve, Halloween, Thanksgiving’s Eve, and New Year’s Day round out the top 5 pizza sales days of the year.

Seeing all those stats reminded me of one thing …… I HAVE NEVER NOR DO I THINK I WILL BUY A FROZEN PIZZA!

Today on the morning show

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Laff lines and the best of late night last night

 

DIETAPHOBIA

Phobia’s  just the mention of Phobia’s makes me queezy

I worked with a man in Paris TN who would freak out if he heard Velcro ripping.  A man I worked with in Louisiana told me he was afraid of Spiders but I didn’t really believe him until one day when I killed a very large spider in the station and showed him the dead bug   Donald who stood 6ft 4 almost passed out and I thought I was going to have to clean up more than just spider guts.

I have several friends who are scared of needles.  One here at radio station ( no name will be given to protect the not so innocent)  gets quezzy just thinking about them so I  just had to tell  him about a surgery I had in  2001 and to get the I.V. in took 11 tries!   He got pale and almost fainted. I shouldn’t laugh… but I did.

So if you want to laugh at me I do have one major Phobia, I am Claustaphobic.  The fear of enclosed spaces.  While in the boy scouts on a camping trip I fell asleep in a sleeping bag but when I woke up the bag was ripped at the seams where my legs kicked so hard I broke through the zipper.  I cannot sleep if the sheets are tucked in, if I try ripped sheets usually happen

But my main phobia is Dietaphobia.  The fear of eating healthy!  No not really but the thought of starting a diet does kind of freak me out.   But I try and try again not just for the weight loss but a change of eating habits.  I do eat a little healthier that when I was young and my family will be surprised  about me eating vegetables.    Baby spinach is the bomb in an omelet (No cheese)..  At a buffet I tried baby Bok Choy and loved it so much I went back for 2nd and 3rds.

So I do try…  but then  dietaphobia hits and it time to become a Junk food junkie again.

Here is a list of some strange phobias.  Some might make you laugh but remember this.  These are real!

Ablutophobia- Fear of washing or bathing.   Acerophobia- Fear of sourness.  Acousticophobia- Fear of noise. (Or listening to Hip Hop music. That’s a bad joke)    Alektorophobia- Fear of chickens.  Alliumphobia- Fear of garlic.    Allodoxaphobia- Fear of opinions (these people are also afraid of Facebook). Anablephobia- Fear of looking up.  Anthrophobia or Anthophobia- Fear of flowers. Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.

Barophobia- Fear of gravity. (You know what they say about gravity as you get older GRAVITY IS A *****).   Bufonophobia- Fear of toads.

Cacophobia- Fear of ugliness.  Carnophobia- Fear of meat.    Catoptrophobia- Fear of mirrors. Chionophobia- Fear of snow.  Chrematophobia- Fear of money. Climacophobia- Fear of stairs, climbing, or of falling downstairs .( I have very large feet and combine that with 2 bad knees add that to my list )  Coprastasophobia- Fear of constipation.( I could really do some bad joke here but for fear of Karma clogging me up let’s continue

Ereuthrophobia- Fear of blushing.  Ergophobia- Fear of work.
Euphobia- Fear of hearing good news. (Kind of a fear of mine I always want to know what is about to go bad)

Francophobia- Fear of France or French culture. (But not of fry sauce)

Geniophobia- Fear of chins. Genuphobia- Fear of knees.
Geumaphobia or Geumophobia- Fear of taste. (Definitely not a fear in the Hip Hop community because they have no taste)
Glossophobia- Fear of speaking in public or of trying to speak. (Ask Church leaders if this is real)
Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia- Fear of long words. (ARRRRG)
Hypengyophobia or Hypegiaphobia- Fear of responsibility. ( I REFUSE TO TAKE RESPONIBIITY FOR THIS ONE)

Lachanophobia- Fear of vegetables. (Most 4 year olds)  Melophobia- Fear or hatred of music. (Talk radio YUK)  Mnemophobia- Fear of memories. (Or Barbra Streisand songs) Myrmecophobia- Fear of ants. (Or certain  marvel movies)    Mexiphobia- Fear of slime. (Don’t not watch Nickelodeon)

Obesophobia- Fear of gaining weight. (Not me I have a PHD in weight gain)       Omphalophobia- Fear of belly buttons. (That lint drives me crazy). Ornithophobia- Fear of birds. (Great Big Bang episode).
Parasitophobia- Fear of parasites. (Or grown children who refuse to leave your house)   Peladophobia- Fear of bald people. (No George Caztanza for them)  Phalacrophobia- Fear of becoming bald. (See George)   Phasmophobia- Fear of ghosts. (Easy one I AIN’T AFRAID OF NO GHOST.  Just too easy)   Phobophobia- Fear of phobias. (Whatever you do stop reading now)  Phronemophobia- Fear of thinking. (See the political party you are not affiliated with)
Pogonophobia- Fear of beards. (Thankfully not my wife)
Porphyrophobia- Fear of the color purple. (Or Prince Songs or Donny Osmond’s socks)Scolionophobia- Fear of school. (Yeah that why I got bad grades, believe me don’t you) Spacephobia- Fear of outer space. (Does that include Star Wars Movies?)

Tachophobia- Fear of speed. (I feel the need for speed)
Tonitrophobia- Fear of thunder
Zemmiphobia- Fear of the great mole rat.

And finally Stupiditiotdriverphobia- The fear of every other driver out there!

 

 

Today on the morning show:

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Laff lines

 

 

WHEN IS IT REALLY A SALE?

One of my favorite quotes I use a lot is actually a paraphrased quote

“MONEY IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL,   I JUST NEED SOME DEEPER ROOTS”

I’m just like you, I have money just not enough it seems.

So when I saw this I just had to share

If something that normally costs $100 is on sale for $80 and you buy it, did you save $20 . . . or spend $80?

 According to a new study, the average adult spent almost $8,000 last year on stuff that was ON SALE . . . but, looking back at those things, they only think about half of them were actually good deals.

The rest was a waste of money. 

I have been guilty of that myself but sometimes it is difficult to decide if it is really a sale.

Recently I was out looking for some “sale” items and found out sometimes a sale is not a sale at all even on clearance items.

Several months ago I almost made a purchase that was on sale but thought better of it and passed.  Later in the same store in the clearance section I saw the same item 5 dollars more on clearance than it was just a few months earlier on sale.

Still trying to save a few bucks I went to a big box store who were closing their doors and have a “store closing store with items up to 70 percent off” One problem everything I was interested in was 10 percent off.  Needless to say I sure was glad that store closed

So how do we save money?

Don’t ask me I still don’t know when a sale is a sale.

Today on the morning show

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Laff lines

 

TRYING TO GET MOTIVATED AIN’T EASY

MOTIVATION: THE REASON OR REASONS ONE HS FOR ACTING IN A PARTICULAR WAY!!

I find myself trying to get motivated almost every day.

I start my day at 4:15 am and by the time I get home all I want to do is grab a bite of lunch and sprawl out on my recliner and take a nap!  I need to stop doing that.

Here is why, as I am driving home I am planning all the things I need to do.  Chores around the house, work on my collection room, get my next podcast ready and the one I dread the most.

EXCERSISE!!!!!

 

I have a million excuse’s not to exercise “TOO TIRED” “DON’T HAVE ENOUGH TIME” “EXCERSICE MAKE ME SORE AND TIRED” AND THE BIGGY “I DON’T WANNA”

But I need to so as I sit here today I am formulating a plan.  Stay out of the recliner for a while after lunch!  Until I have done something …. Anything.  I will take a little time to do a chore or two ( OK , I will be lucky to do one)  I will get on the exercise bike, notice I didn’t say ride but it does have a comfy seat and maybe just maybe my feet will hit the petals.  I will do some organization work on my collections, that is pretty likely and I will work on editing the latest edition of Turnbuckle trash.  I just need to keep off the comfy, comfy recliner at least for a while.

This almost sounds like a New Year’s resolution but let’s not call it that.   I will just call it a start and try not to have too many false starts wish me luck

Today on the morning show we talked with AJAY from the Fan

The Super Bowl and the Half time show a surprise stat

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Laff Lines

IT’S WORST MONDAY OF THE YEAR

MONDAY , MONDAY , MONDAY , IS THIS THE WORST MONDAY OF THE YEAR

It could be if  you believe this new poll  which  shows the Monday after the Super Bowl is the hardest of the year because everyone’s exhausted . . . bloated . . . and possibly hungover.

This survey found 44% of us think it should be a PAID HOLIDAY.   I really don’t know what to think of that!  I know in the past I have been to Super bowl parties that ended late and I had a 2 hour drive to my home but that was my fault and I went to work , no hangover but boy I was kind of bloated ( I love eating)

The poll went on to find out 52% of us have used a vacation day before, to get today day off.  And 39% of us have used a sick day. (Can’t say I find a whole lot wrong with that)

41% of us expect to be less productive today.  41% also plan on being late to work.  And 38% of us will drink more coffee than normal.

Which isn’t TOO unusual, since on any given Monday, we’re more likely to show up late . . . drink a ton of coffee . . . leave work early . . . and zone out in meetings.

That said, about 40% of people said they might be MORE productive today.  Possibly because so many people call in sick, so there aren’t as many distractions.

So the NFL season is over but football returns Saturday with the XFL!!!

Today the morning show was a wild one with school and snowstorm information

Stupid news

Laff lines

 

I MIGHT SLEEP DURING THE SUPERBOWL

 

A little good news a little bad news today.

First the good news:  I went to see the neck surgeon yesterday and was told that the healing process is going great and that I would not have to be in my neck brace 24-7 and that I could wean off the brace taking it off for an hour one day and increase that time every day.

I was also told it was ok for me to drive again, but only short distances.  Since I live about 2 miles from the station it is a big relief to say I fired my chauffer!  My wife Teresa has spent to last month and a half driving me to and from KOOL 1039, and driving me to various appointments.  I can’t tell her thank you enough!!!  I married up!

Now the not so good news.  There is a lot of illness in my family right now.  Teresa is still home sick with the flu and I spent most of Thursday with a family member escorting her from one Dr to labs and x-rays.  Found out she has pneumonia but hopefully meds take hold and both will be well soon.

I must admit I am physically and mentally exhausted.  When I got home last night I got something for Teresa and me to eat and hit the sack about 6:45 yeah that early.  Stick a fork in my butt I am done.  I am almost asleep when two friends called to check up on us and another friend shows up to drop something off.  I am grateful for the friendship but I then locked the door turned off the lights and visited snore city!

Alarm goes off at 4:15 am and here I am foggy eyed and a not so bushy tail.  But I will tell you a secret…. I enjoy what I do so much that I woke up a little and my tail became bushy.

Now that my day is almost done the adrenaline dump is happening.   I will go take a nap to rest up for Sunday

Go Chiefs and don’t forget the snacks

So  you are not a football fan and Super bowl Sunday does nothing for you.  But what will you do while everyone else is watching the Chiefs and the 49’rs play for the NFL championship.

KOOL to the rescue!!!  Starting at 3pm on Sunday afternoon it the American Top 40.

On TV for those who prefer furry friends to football friends. The Puppy bowl is on Animal planet.  The Kitten Bowl VII is on the Hallmark.

There is a Sex and the City” Marathon on E!

“Real Housewives of Atlanta” Marathon on Bravo

“The Bachelor” on ABC/Hulu

Breaking Bad” Marathon (AMC)

For those still reeling from the news that “Better Call Saul” is coming to an end, AMC will be airing the original sensation all day long.

“Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian” BBC America

There is a marathon of “The Office” on Comedy Central)

“”Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” on Freeform

But remember you don’t have to watch the Super bowl to have Super bowl Snacks

 

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Laff lines

BACK TO THE DOCTOR

Wish me luck!

 

Today could bring a celebration at my house, or it could mean more frustration.

Today I go to see the Doctor who performed surgery on my neck on December 18th.  Since that time, I have been in a neck brace and have had some restrictions placed on what I can and can’t do like driving.

My wife Teresa has been my personal driver and has been getting up at 4;30 am to drive me to the station.   If the Dr. okays it and I am hopeful the neck brace will be removed and with that being able to get behind the wheel and drive.

I have had lots of reactions from people who have seen me with the neck brace on.   Kids are the best!  One day at a local store a mom and three little ones were shopping and as I walked by two of the kids waved and said “HI”.  Then one of the girls asked” What’s that?”

I explained what had happened and the little girl looked confused.  That is when mom did what any good mom would do, she said “HE HAS AND OUWEE “

Then in the past 24 hours I have had to explain my ouwee a few times.  I had to take my wife Teresa to Instacare and while she sat in the lobby and I stood in line to check her in the lady behind the desk looked up and said, “Do you need a wheelchair?”  I explained the situation that my wife was ill and needed a Doctor.

Less that 12 hours later I was back in the Instacare with another family member who was ill and had to explain again that I was not a patient.

So today I go see two Doctors one with a sick family member and later my Doctor who hopefully will say it is OK to remove that neck brace.

I won’t miss it, but I will miss explaining my OUWEE

 

 

Today on the morning show we learned about a MEAT PATCH and Superbowl snacks .

 

 

STUPID NEWS IS ALL ABOUT PETA